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chris87
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Default Sep 18, 2018 at 03:07 AM
  #1
This is my first time posting here, and I was hoping to get some input. I've been to multiple psychiatrists, and I've had so many different labels thrown at me (ADHD, OCD, Social Anxiety, ASD/AD, Depression, etc.). I feel like I have a bunch of varying/overlapping issues and no clear understanding of how certain symptoms correspond to a particular disorder. One thing that I often read about with ASD/Asperger's is a dislike for change. I never really thought that this issue applied to me, but now I'm wondering if I just never thought about it correctly.

This probably sounds ridiculous, but one example is the layout of my wallet. Everything has to be kept in the same position, and I can't handle any changes. If I move my license to a different slot, it will really stress me out. I feel like any modifications are out of the question. It's not worth it for me to even try, because it will just make me upset.

Another example would be something as silly as my browser layout (ie. Chrome). I came into work one morning, and I felt like something was different. I was pretty sure that my bookmarks bar hadn't previously been showing and now it was. I couldn't stop fretting about it and wasted time trying to find a browser screenshot from an earlier time. I know it doesn't matter, but my brain just wouldn't let it go. What could have ended up being a good day was derailed by something so trivial.

I could really apply this to all sorts of situations. One of my coworkers once borrowed my chair while I was out of the office. That would normally have been fine, but the person readjusted my chair configuration, and it made me so anxious. Similarly, I can't even move the seat settings in my car (from when I originally set them). It will make me stressed out, and I'll be thinking nonstop about how the new settings are different from what I previously had.

I don't have this problem with everything, so I'm not sure why certain things trigger it.

Does this make sense to anyone? Can anybody relate?
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Smile Sep 20, 2018 at 02:55 PM
  #2
I'm sorry I don't think there is really anything I can offer here with regard to this post in particular. But I noticed no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would. From my non-professional perspective, what you described sounds as though it could be OCD-related. But it could also simply be symptoms of high levels of anxiety & stress I would suppose. I think it can be difficult to parse this sort of thing out & say this symptom goes with this diagnosis & that symptom goes with that one.

I went back & took a look at your first post here on PC. And I'll share with you that, although I'm a wee bit older than you are... [70!] I know exactly what you were talking about in that post. You've mentioned having seen multiple psychiatrists. And I know you wrote that you still have an outstanding balance due with your latest pdoc. I don't recall you mentioning if you see a mental health therapist. And I don't know if you could. If you don't have health insurance perhaps money is an issue for you?

I don't, of course, know how things work where you live. But where I live all most psychiatrists do is to prescribe & monitor psych med's. (I no longer see one. But when I did, I was in-&-out of his office in a matter of 10 or 15 minutes tops four times a year.) Any-&-all in-depth discussion of concerns is left to mental health therapists. And I would have to say, based on my own experiences struggling with concerns similar to yours, that talking everything through at-length & in-depth, is really important. It's important to air all of this out & let the sunshine in. And you can't do this, I don't believe, with family members or friends. Allowing all of this to continue to rumble around through your thoughts is a prescription for ongoing unhappiness & distress. (You clearly already know that.) I know this is true myself because I've spent a lifetime hiding my own despair. And it has taken its toll. So I'd like to encourage you to find some way to talk through all of what has happened with you. Please don't follow in my footsteps. They don't lead anywhere you want to go. I hope that in some way you can find a path to deep peace within.
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AutLumBe
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Default Sep 24, 2018 at 08:57 AM
  #3
I can relate to you quite well; I am not entirely that extreme with it... But I hate when someone touches or moves my things; quite often I could easily go into a meltdown especially sense one person in particular (one of my brothers) does it intentionally, (flips things, hides things, so-on-so-forth).

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Default Sep 30, 2018 at 09:15 PM
  #4
When I was younger my mom and everyone else was convinced I had OCD. And then many many years later I was given a proper evaluation and diagnosed with PDDNOS and at first it didn't mean anything to me. But as I learned more about it I found that a lot of what we thought were symptoms of OCD were misunderstood symptoms of PDDNOS.
And yes I have a VERY hard time with change. I have a schedule and if it's thrown off even in the slightest I get very disoriented. Before any big changes can happen I have to know about them months ahead of time so I can think on it and get used to the idea. This kind of just applies to me as an artist, but if I draw things from a different angle than usual I get really confused and disoriented.
I think what would be a good thing to do is ask why they think you have whichever disorder. And/or look up the symptoms yourself. Pick out which you think do and don't fit you then ask about the ones you think fit you most. A lot of people say self diagnosing is bad, but it's really helpful if your informed and know what to talk to a professional about.

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