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kimberlym
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Default Jan 27, 2019 at 04:52 AM
  #21
I just had a job interview two days ago. That's where all this insecurity comes from for myself. I feel like I've been looking for my next job for 3 years now. I worked with one place that shut down, then was eligible for a program to get a degree (IT also I might add), an internship, and now straight up looking for a position in the job market. I know I'm smart, and can do the job. I just don't how to convince anyone to hire me, when I'm so strange. I have to play a role, every time I have an interview.
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Default Jan 27, 2019 at 04:59 AM
  #22
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Originally Posted by kimberlym View Post
I just had a job interview two days ago. That's where all this insecurity comes from for myself. I feel like I've been looking for my next job for 3 years now. I worked with one place that shut down, then was eligible for a program to get a degree (IT also I might add), an internship, and now straight up looking for a position in the job market. I know I'm smart, and can do the job. I just don't how to convince anyone to hire me, when I'm so strange. I have to play a role, every time I have an interview.

If you don't mind me asking, what kind of IT position are you seeking?

If the job position is something like a support technician, than I can understand them needing people with better social skills since you're dealing with clients.

Maybe it's worth considering a developer position? If you went with something like a web or software developer than you could probably get by with subpar social skills since you aren't dealing with a lot of people on the job and you can simply build a portfolio to showcase your work (this is especially true for web development) that proves you're able to do the job well without having to convince the person interviewing you with your social skills. Also, if you get really good at resume writing, that might help you further, especially combined with a good portfolio. Maybe then, the interviewer wouldn't need that much convincing at the job interview.


At least, those are the tactics I plan on using to land an entry level web developer position when the time comes.
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kimberlym
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Default Jan 27, 2019 at 05:30 AM
  #23
@ DarknessIsMyFriend....I hear you. All of you. I can relate to all of the circumstances you have faced yourself, but as a woman. I consider myself to be computer geek, and nerd, but I hate playing games, for myself. This came about when my son was very young, and I used to attempt to play games with him. Jurassic Park for a Nintendo game was where I stopped. And the reason I stopped was because the game, itself, was causing me so much anxiety and distress, that I wondered why I would submit myself to that type of torture. It just wasn't "fun" for me. So, I quit. I quit playing computer games ever. Instead, I started just researching my interests online. And that's still what I do today. I research many things, through many avenues, even my online library, or resources from school as I was taking online classes to finish a degree. If I don't know a particular code from a programming tutorial, I research it until I feel confident that I understand the programming language. But I can't play games, or interact publicly with others online. That's just how I roll. My partner has learned how to be efficient online by playing with others socially in games. We learn from each other. He doesn't have the IT skills I have. And I don't have the social skills that he has processed. So, we communicate our experiences with each other to learn.
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Default Jan 27, 2019 at 05:48 AM
  #24
My IT skills came in the form of an IT: Information Systems degree. It was a a very broad IT degree, including programming, analyst, business and networking technologies. I was most comfortable with the analyst aspect because that was related to my previous 17 years of experience in an ERP environment with SAP. I would do well with programming, but I need so much more education for that. My degree was such a broad overview of everything. In the industries I have previous experience in, I became a supervisor and trainer, working with other people everyday to train them on our ERP software, as well as training them to do a job using our software. I was really good in those areas because I am a patient person, and I never became impatient with other people that needed information. I think that's why I succeeded so long before my place of business shut down. I was always available and attentive to other people. I never treated anyone like they were "stupid" or "ignorant". They could ask me anything, and I would oblige. Coding has become a big business, and there are so many different languages to learn. It's just so expansive. I would be good in that field. I just need so much more education there. What I know is so limited.

Last edited by kimberlym; Jan 27, 2019 at 06:06 AM..
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Default Jan 27, 2019 at 05:55 AM
  #25
My most recent internship was in dealing with people needing assistance with all types of business applications, mostly remotely, or by phone. I was handling a ticketing system, sending out tickets to senior analysts, based on who was handling a specific application,or dealing with the ticket myself , if it was something simple and I didn't need to trouble my software team with, something I could manage on my own, in my ineptitude. I was working for a hospital with their applications management team, and enterprise systems. I should add, a really big hospital system encompassing 4-5 counties, and multiple cities. It wasn't just for a single building. It was for an entire network of hospital systems.

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Default Jan 27, 2019 at 01:11 PM
  #26
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Originally Posted by kimberlym View Post
My IT skills came in the form of an IT: Information Systems degree. It was a a very broad IT degree, including programming, analyst, business and networking technologies. I was most comfortable with the analyst aspect because that was related to my previous 17 years of experience in an ERP environment with SAP. I would do well with programming, but I need so much more education for that. My degree was such a broad overview of everything. In the industries I have previous experience in, I became a supervisor and trainer, working with other people everyday to train them on our ERP software, as well as training them to do a job using our software. I was really good in those areas because I am a patient person, and I never became impatient with other people that needed information. I think that's why I succeeded so long before my place of business shut down. I was always available and attentive to other people. I never treated anyone like they were "stupid" or "ignorant". They could ask me anything, and I would oblige. Coding has become a big business, and there are so many different languages to learn. It's just so expansive. I would be good in that field. I just need so much more education there. What I know is so limited.

I would say see if your local library offers a free Lynda.com subscription. If you want to learn programming, or brush up your other IT skills, that is a good place to start. If you can't get Lynda.com for free, it's more than worth the $30 per month.

If you can't get Lynda.com for free and you can't afford the monthly fee, either see if there are any tech meetups in your area where you can learn new skills and network with people, or learn from codeacademy.

Fact is, you can become a good coder or programmer without college. You can self teach yourself for free. It is entirely possible to get a job if you're self taught as a programmer. I know one person, for example, who got a job as a software engineer without a formal education. He taught himself everything he knew about programming and was able to prove to the hiring managers that he knew his stuff by taking their tests. Guess what? Two years later, he's making a 6 figure salary.

So it's possible to learn on your own. You just got to believe in yourself
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Default Jan 28, 2019 at 09:34 PM
  #27
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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
My sister is 27 and was diagnosed with Aspergers when she was 3-before it was a thing. Now it all falls under Autism spectrum disorder. I may need to read up on it more but she was always a little "boy crazy" bouncing from BF to BF. I hesitate to link this to the disorder though because I do not want to generalize something in too much of a subjective way.
That has nothing to do with autism.

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Default Jan 28, 2019 at 11:27 PM
  #28
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Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend View Post
Mental health diagnosis shouldn't define you, nor should it matter if you are something that society considers "weird" or "different". You are you and nobody has the right to judge or condemn you for being what you are.
This rocks Darkness thanks for sharing it! To go off of this helpful and encouraging part of the response we all have our own quirks and eccentricities as well as our own collection of personal characteristics that make us unique. If it wasn't for these differences the world would be a pretty boring place!

To the OP though, before getting a diagnosis of any sorts it is best to research each one through books, forums like these, or support groups related to specific conditions before going to your GP or psychiatrist/psychologist in hopes to determine the condition that best matches your symptoms. In a similar manner to what I said in my first point, it is best to apply those medical labels (either describing yourself or what your doc diagnoses) with a bit of discernment because it is easy to fall into the trap of using a condition as a universal explanation for any shortcomings or subtle differences in personalities which are common in some degree or another in the general population.

Hope this helps!

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Default Jan 28, 2019 at 11:29 PM
  #29
Kimberlym since I see you are pretty new here welcome to PC!!

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Default Feb 04, 2019 at 06:59 AM
  #30
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That's not true.
I'm not saying one can only get diagnosed with autism until the age of 3. Symptoms are often overlooked and some parents just can't accept something may be wrong with their precious bundles. But for it to be autism, there would have been symptoms by the age of 3, even if no one noticed.

For an autism diagnosis it's therefore very helpful to have some early evidence, such as a parent remembering quirks, absence of pretend play, or maybe even film and photographic evidence.

When do children usually show symptoms of autism? | NICHD - Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development

"Many children show symptoms of autism by 12 months to 18 months of age or earlier."
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Default Feb 04, 2019 at 07:07 AM
  #31
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Originally Posted by winter loneliness View Post
That has nothing to do with autism.
What's the basis of this claim? While boys on the spectrum may have a hard time finding girlfriends, for girls it may be just opposite because of a lack of proper boundaries, being taken advantage of, and relationships not working out. Aside, reading other posts, sarahsweet's sister was on medication lessening social anxiety.
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Default Feb 06, 2019 at 03:48 AM
  #32
Bouncing from bf to bf? I wouldn't have put it that way. Also, you can receive a diagnosis at any time, to my knowledge.

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Thanks for this!
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kimberlym
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Default Feb 07, 2019 at 04:06 AM
  #33
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Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend View Post
I would say see if your local library offers a free Lynda.com subscription. If you want to learn programming, or brush up your other IT skills, that is a good place to start. If you can't get Lynda.com for free, it's more than worth the $30 per month.

If you can't get Lynda.com for free and you can't afford the monthly fee, either see if there are any tech meetups in your area where you can learn new skills and network with people, or learn from codeacademy.

Fact is, you can become a good coder or programmer without college. You can self teach yourself for free. It is entirely possible to get a job if you're self taught as a programmer. I know one person, for example, who got a job as a software engineer without a formal education. He taught himself everything he knew about programming and was able to prove to the hiring managers that he knew his stuff by taking their tests. Guess what? Two years later, he's making a 6 figure salary.

So it's possible to learn on your own. You just got to believe in yourself
It's funny you should say that because Linda.com has been my go-to for education. Once my college credentials were "offed", I was looking for my local library to support...
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Default Feb 07, 2019 at 04:15 AM
  #34
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It's funny you should say that because Linda.com has been my go-to for education. Once my college credentials were "offed", I was looking to my local library to support...
@DARKNESSmyoldfriend....you have been such a good influence for me...I so Thank You!....You have given me such insight!...And I love you for it! Thank You!, for giving me the insight you have!
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Default Feb 07, 2019 at 05:00 AM
  #35
Apparently, we're all trying to figure this "thing" out...whatever mental disorder, disability we possess...some of us may have had professional diagnosis/prognosis...but others of us may just not be willing to feed money into the "system", which is more or less, where I stand...I know there is an issue, and many of us us which have those issues, but I'm just not willing to let our society define this for me...I currently have no health care, and I'm not completely certain, at this moment, that a Universal One would do any better than the symptoms I currently experience...though, I would thoroughly welcome a universal healthcare to this administration in the US
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Default Feb 09, 2019 at 10:39 PM
  #36
@DarknessIsMyFriend...we have some mutual idiosyncrasies....I would love to have a chat!....If you feel like one, please contact me....kimberlyrmartinh84@gmail.com
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Default Mar 24, 2019 at 10:28 PM
  #37
Stim is short for stimulating. It's a repetitive movement that people with ASD do to calm down. This can be rocking back and forth, blowing on fingers, playing with hair, walking back and forth, waving hands, spinning objects, clicking their tongue, etc. Most people stim a little bit but people with ASD do it in a way that's far more obvious. I've been a childcare worker for children with ASD for 5 years.

Also, having asperger's syndrome is nothing to be ashamed of. The guy who invented Pokemon and Bill Gates both had it and look how successful and loved they are!

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Default Apr 07, 2019 at 09:33 PM
  #38
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My parents won't remember any quirks @PsychoPhil. One parent is deceased now, and the other is aging and losing memory. And what they did know, they didn't seem to associate with anything but me being an "odd" child. But I remember my quirks. I did both. I participated in pretend play, and I did stim too. I had imaginary friends before that age. They were all based on Disney characters. Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Pluto, and the like, I believe because that was pretty much the only exposure I had had to cartoon-ish-type characters at the time. I have a photo where I was told I went to Disney World in Orlando FL, but I have no memory of the experience at all. I was under two years old. I was sitting on a fake dolphin, something similar to those things you used to put a quarter in, and it would rock back and forth for a minute, and my parents were in the picture. I remember they weren't real-life sized, my imaginary friends. They were small, 6-10 inches in height or so, because I would always be looking down at the floor to interact with them and speak with them. And I had a baby blanket that was given to me by a grandparent who worked in a blanket factory. It was a receiving blanket from when I was born, and it was always with me in my crib, bed, whatever it evolved into. It had a silky binding on it, and I developed a picking habit, which I still have, to this day. About 7 years ago, my partner convinced me to put the blanket away and find something else to pick, because it was disintegrating into nothing. ( I used to tell my family. It will be written into my will, that I am to be buried with my blanket. That's how strongly I felt for it.) So, I washed it, bagged it, and tucked it away for safe-keeping so it would always be there. I won't tell you the other fabric I found for its replacement. It's embarrassing. But I still pick, and if I can't find the source when I go to bed, I am upset, and I have to find it before I can sleep, even now, at 52 years old. Anyone that has ever known about my blanket, mostly immediate family and any very close friends I might have had (of course, any intimate partners would have to be let into the loop, because I won't sleep without it), would tease me mercilessly for still having it at my age. My grandmother, the person that gave it to me, begged me to put it aside. She didn't think I should have something like that as an adult. She died around 1992. My father, who is still alive at 76 years, has forgotten about the blanket, because I don't carry it with me anymore, and he is not aware of the fabric I use now to replace it. It's concealable. My mate, my partner in life for the last 9 years if my life now, my person...is very aware of my stim obsession with "picking". I also try to avoid picking at my skin, but that is a compulsion as well. I have picked at my face, my collar bone area, my shoulders and back. If I pick on my skin, it is very apparent outwardly because it can be seen. I went through a period where I couldn't help picking at my face, and it was obvious. I had scabs and the like. I had to find an alternate area, or an alternate material to pick.
I have never known anyone else with a blanket they picked at like me!!!! My husband calls it a rag, I just can't bear to part with it. And also can't sleep without it.
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Default Jun 16, 2019 at 05:04 PM
  #39
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Originally Posted by PsychoPhil View Post
I'm not saying one can only get diagnosed with autism until the age of 3. Symptoms are often overlooked and some parents just can't accept something may be wrong with their precious bundles. But for it to be autism, there would have been symptoms by the age of 3, even if no one noticed.

For an autism diagnosis it's therefore very helpful to have some early evidence, such as a parent remembering quirks, absence of pretend play, or maybe even film and photographic evidence.

When do children usually show symptoms of autism? | NICHD - Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development

"Many children show symptoms of autism by 12 months to 18 months of age or earlier."
PsychoPill is right. You are born with autism; it isn't something you develop. Symptoms are evident in early childhood, including in infancy. It's also a complex disorder (if you want to call it a "disorder")--simply having social issues doesn't make you autistic. This is a common misunderstanding. If you really want to find out if you're autistic or not, see a behavior analyst who specializes in autism diagnoses. It's a lengthy process; it takes weeks. It's easy to self-diagnose via books and online questionnaires, etc., but you need a professional to actually make a correct diagnosis.
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