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Old 04-24-2019, 08:32 PM #1
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Post I feel like an imposter

I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when I was still in primary school, and back then I had serious noise sensitivity issues, to the point where I couldn't really function whenever there was any sort of unstructured social event. Friends were scarce, and I preferred the company of books, to the point of almost becoming dependent on them. I always filled my pockets with trinkets to fiddle with. Things changed soon after I got the diagnosis. I left the school I was in, and let's just say it wasn't the best environment. I think that's a topic for another thread.

Anyways, I never really got a knack at making friends, but I've improved in terms of my noise tolerance, and I feel like I pass as fairly normal. I still struggle with socialization though. I feel like I straddle both worlds, not really belonging in either. I don't really have any sort of specialized support system for this. I don't even think my parents realize that I still have major issues with it. I just feel outside of things a bit.
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Old 04-25-2019, 05:12 AM #2
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Default Re: I feel like an imposter

That is the thing with spectrum diagnoses. The higher functioning a person is the more the person feels like they don't fit into either world.....BUT if you still have other problems related to the diagnosis it is probably correct.

It is better to have the diagnosis & know where those problems come from than not have it & wonder.
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I feel like an imposter



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Old 04-26-2019, 04:32 AM #3
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Default Re: I feel like an imposter

Hey Shadowwoof,

Yes, I know what you mean. I've spent a lifetime getting to know myself. Two things might help.

First, I've found I need a quiet place, a place where I can be alone, lost in thought. Mine has always been, anywhere there are trees, wind, or water. It can be lost deep in the woods, or just a bench in a quiet corner of a city park. That's where I find myself again, find my strength, and renew.

Second, I need a purpose, a mission. It's both a curse and a blessing, to be able to focus so narrowly, so intensely, with such persistence, beyond normal reason. It can be maddening to be lost in an endless loop of pointless obsessions. Lost and alone, frustration and depression set in pretty quickly. A purpose, a mission, fills the void of an empty life and drives you forward.
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Old 04-26-2019, 09:23 PM #4
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Default Re: I feel like an imposter

I don't belong in either group either. So I moved to another planet that is just me. When I visit Earth I stick with people who are kind of like me. Also not belonging anywhere.
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Old 06-11-2019, 02:49 PM #5
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Default Re: I feel like an imposter

Have you looked into Meetups groups in your area for autistic people? You're never going to feel like you fit in anywhere. Ever. That's just part of being autistic. But it does help to spend time with other people who are autistic, because they understand what you're going through. Also, I simply remind myself that I don't have to fit in. I don't have to apologize or pretend or mimic just to make "normal" people feel comfortable. And I mean, if you do become better at socialization,--that is, if you're able to camouflage yourself and learn to mimic and play-act in social situations so as to get on better with people,--what have you accomplished? If you pretend to be someone you're not, you're not going to form meaningful relationships, and this will end up making you feel even more discontented. We live in an age where people feel like they should be ashamed if they don't have a million friends. I have one really good friend and a close relationship with my sister, but other than that, I only have one or two friends whom I talk to only occasionally. And this works fine for me! I'm like you: I love reading. And I need to have plenty of alone time. I could never, ever handle having more than two close relationships, because it would overwhelm me. So, I would look into support groups or Meetup groups for autistic people--it will be MUCH easier to form relationships with people who understand that it's hard for you to form relationships!
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