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LundiHvalursson
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Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: California, USA
Posts: 129
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Default Oct 06, 2019 at 08:31 PM
  #1
Following my first thread about myself being a 30 year old male with Asperger's who feels depressed for having always been single plus a virgin, I was recommended a few websites and YouTube channels about dating advice. But I find that the advice seems to be much more geared towards neurotypical men. For example, someone recommended me this YouTube channel by a wing girl named Marni. I am not sure if she is American or Canadian, but it seems like many men in both countries follow her advice.

"THIS" Is How & When To TOUCH A Girl | Breaking The Touch Barrier: Steps 1- 4 (2019)

In the video, it is advice about how men should utilise touching as part of flirting as a dating technique. But I find that these techniques are fraught with problems for someone who is autistic or has Asperger's. Flirty touching is like level 11/10 on the difficulty level, because even regular touching like hugs and handshakes already give men on the spectrum problems. What if a man on the spectrum messes up real badly with the touching stuff by mistake, and the woman gets uncomfortable? Or what if even if the woman is neurotypical, but she does not like any touching and this is not known beforehand?

Extending this example to other aspects of dating and relationships where advice is mostly for neurotypical people, I am wondering if it could work also for men on the spectrum.

As an extra detail, my Aspie score is 153/200 and neurotypical score is 50/200. I am not sure if that is "mild" or what. But my skills at nonverbal communication and facial expressions are extremely poor.

So my question is, should men on the spectrum follow dating techniques and advice that seem more suited towards neurotypical men?
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Smile Oct 10, 2019 at 03:01 PM
  #2
I honestly don't know anything about this. But I noticed you had yet to receive replies to this post. So I thought I would write one. (Hopefully you will yet hear from members who have actual experience related to your concern.)

I'm old enough that I'm well past the point where these sorts of concerns are of significance for me. However just as a general observation my thinking would be that, when it comes to touch, it's best to let the woman take the lead along with being open about one's insecurities surrounding touch as well as other aspects of dating. Communication is the bedrock of any successful romantic relationship. And so the sooner good communications are established the better it seems to me. At least these are my thoughts with regard to your post.

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circlefiinix
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Default Oct 13, 2019 at 04:27 AM
  #3
I think this guy may answer your question after timestamp 11:54. I need 5 posts to include a link so it can be found here: "Asperger's Syndrome Interview" on Youtube by Lifey Health from Jan 2, 2017.
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