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LundiHvalursson
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Default Nov 20, 2019 at 06:33 PM
  #1
I am the guy who made a thread about being worried about being a virgin at age 30. Anyway, at age 26, I started attending meetups and social gatherings in my city to make friends, and perhaps if things went well, maybe find a girlfriend.

So during all of the meetups since then up to now, I have encountered some of the vilest, most superficial, judgemental people in my entire life. As I have stated in various other threads, I have been lambasted, berated, humiliated, etc. for being single/virgin at my age during meetups. However, there are some other things that I have noticed at these meetups.

There normal people, i.e. the neurotypical, extroverted type of people who seem to lack any mental disorders and anxiety, seem to me, as a person with Asperger's, OCD, anxiety and other problems, that they are just arseholes. The vast majority of people whom I meet at meetups make me sick just thinking of how they treat me and other people. People in their 20s are extremely judgemental and superficial to the point that I cannot even talk with them past ten seconds. People in their 30s are almost as bad as their 20s. Both groups seem very immature to me.

Moving on to the people in their 40s, well, not much better. Many act like they are in secondary school (high school), i.e. like they were stuck at age 13 or 14 and never grew up. I have had people in their 40s say, "ew virgin, yuck" to my face. Not only that, but people make their own cliques just like back in secondary school, and exclude others whom they deem as "weird" or "not as high class at they are". The people in their 50s and 60s can sometimes be better, and I get along with them if I indeed do get along with anyone during the social gathering. But I have met way too many people in their 50s and 60s who also act like they are 13 or 14 and judge everyone by how many sexual partners and relationships they have had, how much money they have, how prestigious their job is, how many houses and cars they have, how expensive their clothes are, etc.

Regarding relationships, I always was told that people will not judge you as much as you become older. However, even women in their 40s and 50s have made some seriously negative remarks at my singleness/virginity, and it really made me feel as if I had been transported back to high school. Do middle-aged women in other places really say, "A virgin at 30 is a weirdo" and things like this? Do males in their 40s and 50s in other places lambast and verbally berate other male acquaintances for having had a failed dating life and/or being virgin?

So I am wondering--do you feel that when you meet "normal" people, they act like the people whom I just described above? I really want to know if it is I who is the weird one, or if the people whom I keep meeting are simply uniquely complete pricks.

For the record, I am a native born and bred of San Francisco, California, USA. I attend meetups solely in this city, and these are my overall experiences.
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Default Nov 20, 2019 at 09:21 PM
  #2
How does that even come up in a conversation? Just don't bring up that you are a virgin. Find something else to talk about.

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LundiHvalursson
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Default Nov 20, 2019 at 11:40 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nammu View Post
How does that even come up in a conversation? Just don't bring up that you are a virgin. Find something else to talk about.
It just pops up randomly a lot of times, or at least somewhat tries to veer the conversation in that direction. Someone, either a man or a woman, might just suddenly say, "Man, dating is hard here. I have not had a relationship for years ever since I moved here." Then they will ask me about my relationship history. Then sexual history. Within less than 20 seconds, they will have shifted the conversation to interrogating me about my sexual history.

Three months ago I was eating dinner with a woman from a meetup. We were talking about how our lives were in the UK since we had studied at the same university there. Then suddenly she blurted out something about liking the pharmacies there because they had good birth control options. She followed this up asking if I ever needed to use birth control. Then if I have ever had sex, am I a virgin, etc. As you can see, this topic just pops up very quickly.

I think that sexual history is a standard by which people use to judge other people here, much more than in other parts of the world. So people often blurt out their sexual pasts in conversations, even to complete strangers. Then they want to know yours as well.
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Default Nov 24, 2019 at 08:53 AM
  #4
I think people with sexual hang-ups act like this. So what if you're a virgin at your age? I was one until I married at age 33. I think sometimes men just use women for sex and don't love them or even care about them.

That's my opinion! Don't worry about it. It's their problem!
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LundiHvalursson
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Default Nov 28, 2019 at 02:13 AM
  #5
Over here it seems like people of both genders are more obsessed with this compared to in other places. It is used as a gauge of someone's self-worth.

I have been criticised and insulted for many things, but in the past this has really affected me. Usually because when women found out I would be placed in the "undateable" box. If people found out during conversation, even male acquaintances, they might tell the women in the group and gossip would spread.
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Default Nov 28, 2019 at 03:39 PM
  #6
I’m not sure what normal is. I usually don’t describe anyone as normal. Some people who think they are “normal” suck..

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