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circles5
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Default Oct 05, 2019 at 01:15 PM
  #1
Right, so this is going to come off badly... I'll say that off the bat. But I mean well.

I'm getting a little ... irritated that this forum (and others) are literally full of people who don't have this diagnosis.
People think they have AVPD. Or they think they are avoidant.
I understand people are looking for answers..... but at the same time - No one can diagnose anyone on this website, let alone something as complicated as a personality disorder.
So go hit up Wikipedia. If it genuinely sounds familiar.. Then go and see a psychiatrist and stop doing yourself (and others) a disservice by telling yourself and others you're 'certain you have avpd' - in the process spreading potential misinformation and homogenizing this diagnosis which is already one of the least studied yet most detrimental mental health conditions.
-----

Why does this irritate me.?
Well it's a bit similar to; "I'm so OCD about what order I do my breakfast routine in"
A.K.A - You don't have OCD, stop saying that!

I have to deal with this all the time with OCD.
Half the population seem to think 'everyone has OCD' Just some people have it worse
-----------

My bottom line being:
If you are genuinely worried that you may have this truly awful condition - Talk to your doctor.
Tommorow, why hang about. If talking to your doctor is too daunting for you.... then call up, get their email and write down what's going on for you and your concerns in an email and send it to them to review.
Asking here, or elsewhere if your 'avoidance' is Avoidant-Personality-Disorder
Will not get you anywhere.....

At most - you may get; "user77a88 said that my post sounded AVPD"
So are you going to live the rest of your life according to a wikipedia description and what user77a88 thought of that post you made on a mental health forum?
Don't be crazy. Go see a doctor,

Hopefully, you don't have this AVPD. Hopefully you have something milder and less life-ruining. Maybe your just -acting avoidantly- as you're depressed or anxious...
If, for financial or other reasons - you can't see a doctor straight away. Try and live life - don't try and figure out how to live life as someone with AVPD... without a diagnosis.
And of course, if you do have a diagnosis of AVPD, don't try and 'fit the mould' - you aren't your diagnosis. You're an individual.
The diagnosis describes you, not the other way around.

----

Well, I hope this helps someone... personally I feel like I've come across a belligerent, intolerant @ssh***e.
I'm in a bad mood.... (I turn 30 in a few days, and I'm fed up. I've been mentally unwell since I was 2 years old ffs.)
I think I posted this, as I'm tired of AVPD being the elephant in the room - I know the irony...
But it's so bad; I can't even talk to mental health professionals about this diagnosis because half of them don't seem to believe it exists and the other half - don't have a clue how to help me.

I am SO lucky, I have a therapist who deals with me as a person. She knows my diagnosis and believes their credence/authenticity - but she treats me as an individual.. she actually prefers to steer away from 'labels' such as AVPD - As...........; they give you a reason not to engage in what you find difficult.

"Well of course I didn't talk to the lady... I have AvPD??"
Labels can give you a reason not to try, or even to give up. That's why they are dangerous.
That's 1/2 the reason I don't want anyone undiagnosed to accept this label as a truth.

The other half is that the people really suffering with it the have to sort through the posts in a thread of people who; think they may have the condition or they relate to the people who do.
Thus making the support network for individuals with avpd convoluted - more of a; 'feeling avoidant' ,, 'avoiding stuff??' well come on have a seat.

^again, feeling like an @hole saying the above... But people suffering from something want to be able to talk to other people suffering from the same thing; for knowledge insight and comfort.
All humans suffer, and avoid. It's human.
However not all humans suffer from AVPD, obviously.
So 2nd part, is .... feels like I'm making it out to be a club or something... - but people with AVPD need a place to talk about AVPD.

Someone coming to the forum, and seeking advice about this disorder for a loved one afflicted - Perfect use.
It's just - the 'I think I'm AVPD,,, what do you think' threads that seem to dominate the forums on the web ... and that makes life EVEN harder for the AVPD afflicted individual as the internet and forums is all a lot of us have left.

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Last edited by circles5; Oct 05, 2019 at 04:04 PM..
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Default Oct 13, 2019 at 01:39 AM
  #2
Sorry you are going through a tough time. No I don’t think I have AvPD, just told I have AvPD traits and have social anxiety disorder. Do try to get out when I can, but tend to isolate sometimes.
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Default Oct 26, 2019 at 03:52 PM
  #3
Thanks zapatoes. Sorry you're dealing with this too.
I would consider being told you have traits as being diagnosed, certainly on the spectrum. It's actually very hard to get diagnosed.. more so depending on where you live, your co-morbid conditions and the general awareness of the condition with whom you speak to.

I'd like to edit my original post... I've read it countless times, and it is a bit hostile.. I think I will speak to staff to ask if I can edit it; post 'edit window.
At a few points, I outlined my feelings without much consideration for how it would be received and was perhaps quite insensitive.
That wasn't what I set out to do.. / my intentions.
I'm just really fed up. Tough thing to deal with.. and there is very little help readily available.
I still feel that much of what I said is true.. but could have been more productive / less punitive.
C

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Default Nov 01, 2019 at 01:17 PM
  #4
I came here looking to read about the experiences of people with AvPD but many many posts are by people who are self diagnosed or are wondering about themselves. I'm one of those people who are wondering. That's why I was looking for some genuine experiences. That is not to say that self diagnosed people don't have the disorder, but it's a maybe they do, maybe they don't kind of situation, which is confusing.
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Confused Apr 02, 2020 at 03:01 PM
  #5
Dear Circles5,
I am 99% certain I have avoidant personality disorder and am currently thinking about getting diagnosed, but would like to hear from someone who has actually gone through this.
You see, I find getting this diagnosis would be a huge step and I feel it would mean that I have to admit that something is definitely wrong with me, but since I am really struggling at the moment and want to get some support, I am willing to do this. The only thing is that I am worried about all the things that might be entailed. Have you experienced any problems when telling people you have been diagnosed with avpd? I imagine it can be quite hard getting a job etc. if you tell people you have diagnosed with this...
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Default Apr 15, 2020 at 10:45 PM
  #6
The problem is that you could go to 5 different shrinks and get 5 different diagnoses. I've see people say they have SAD, AvPD, bipolar disorder and schizophrenia by getting different diagnoses from different people.

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Default Apr 17, 2020 at 11:53 AM
  #7
I also find it maddenig when people jusg search for a test online and go: I must have xy because I am had a high score on this quiz.
I just got diagnosed by a therapist how rolls with the the diagnosis of AvPD(or it is still a theory). Though I couldnt give any less fs for the label of my problems. They are what they are and as you said, a diagnosis is mostly used as an excuse rather than a directionary to find help. But like it was already mentioned in a comment on your post, diagnosis seem to differ from therapist to therapist.
Most people dont find the courage or the chance even to go to a therapist. So they do what we all do when we need reassurence for something: The internet. We all try to find answers. Those people never mean to offend those who got diagnosed with a mental disease.
I know that people tend do say sentences like:Oh im just laying around all day! I have a depressiv episode
While their probably just lazy for that one day. I used to get angry when someone said that because I've had clinical depression at that time and tried to off myself many many times. But lets be real. There is no need to get angry because of that. Its just a waste of energy. Just let them think what they think.
And who knows? I believe there are a lot of people here who never saw a therapist because of AvPD. Its the same with people who have SA. They probably run around all those years never really takling their issues.
Even when they have no real diagnosis they still could learn from posts on this site or this forum in general. They seem to have problems with something so why shouldnt they search in a forum for help where there are people with similiar problems even if they dont have all the problems someone with AvPD has.
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Default Apr 18, 2020 at 06:16 PM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by AceRimmer View Post
The problem is that you could go to 5 different shrinks and get 5 different diagnoses. I've see people say they have SAD, AvPD, bipolar disorder and schizophrenia by getting different diagnoses from different people.

Good post, I agree. Five different shrinks can and have given five different diagnoses. Which to believe...

Maybe this thread could be a little bit offputting for someone with severe Avpd?

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