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A Red Panda
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Wink Mar 06, 2015 at 05:00 PM
  #1
I just thought I would start a new thread that could have the potential to be funny as opposed to the well, less-supportive sentiments that have been posted around in here.

So, a list of things that I avoid! Please make your own list of the things that you avoid. Some of mine, when put onto paper, makes me laugh a bit because they're so pathetic and stupid! Of course, some are bigger or sad.

Things I Avoid:

- being seen taking garbage to the dumpster
- leaving a phone message
- walking through the office
- asking someone to help reach something
- being wished happy birthday
- needing change when taking a cab
- asking a question
- saying that I don't know what something means
- letting people know things that I would like that could ever possibly be bought for me
- taking "too long" in the grocery line
- being stopped by people offering perfumes and stuff
- being complimented on how I'm dressed

etc etc etc. Honestly, who on earth worries about being in the line at the grocery store and feeling like you're holding everyone up?! I've almost always got the smallest amount in the line!

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Default Mar 06, 2015 at 07:34 PM
  #2
Ugh. I avoid:

Going out in public because I can't stand the thought of anyone seeing me. It's even painful to know my family can see me.

Talking on the phone.

Going to get the mail. What if someone drives by?

Grocery shopping. I almost break down in tears because I am so anxious about it.

Looking in mirrors.

Fixing myself something to eat. I feel so guilty about eating.

Starting projects because i get overwhelmed and anxious and I know I can't do them right.

Asking anyone for help.

I have fears of doing something right because what if I mess up next time? I don't want to disappoint anyone.

Being close emotionally or physically to anyone other than my kids.

I know there are lots of other weird things. LOL. I can relate to a lot of yours. Not that yours are weird or that you are weird.
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Default Mar 06, 2015 at 09:13 PM
  #3
Oh, mine ARE weird and I AM weird, but I know I'm not alone in my weirdness

Another one I can add is that I avoid winning or losing. If I lose at a game, I feel horrible and like I just fail at life... and if I win then I feel like the other person will be mad at me or think I'm a huge show off or something. So I tend to play in a way that clearly shows I am not trying!

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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..."

"I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am.


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Default Mar 06, 2015 at 09:34 PM
  #4
My diagnosis is actually BPD, but when I come over to this forum I recognize some of these avoidant tendencies as well...like, I thought I was the only one who avoided anyone seeing her take the garbage out. I live in a small apartment complex, and I will do it late at night just so that I have the cover of night to better keep me from being seen. Same with going to the laundry room. I order a lot of things online (because I'd rather do that than go to the mall), but I never, ever answer the door when the mailman or UPS/FedEx guy knocks. My mailman knows and doesn't knock anymore. But I was sitting on my couch today reading when the UPS guy knocked and I just kept reading--so of course he didn't leave the package, just that little paper. Even if it means that I have to sign the little slip of paper OR even drive out to the UPS facility to get my package, I rarely answer the door.
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Default Mar 07, 2015 at 01:06 AM
  #5
Thanks, Red Panda
This is really helpful, with the humorous twist, I can appreciate being...sorta fun weird.

my list:

-going to yoga class.....feeling anxious....leaving yoga class....still anxious (lol)

-wanting to socialize with others, then being quiet (I don't have anything to say)

-idea of social interaction: going to the coffee shop, and people watching, writing, and sipping coffee. Most relaxing, and I am with people...(sort of)

My close contacts are our dogs, and my husband.

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Default Mar 07, 2015 at 07:54 AM
  #6
Oh Jade, I TOTALLY do the same thing with yoga....

Another one or two for the list:

- avoid telling, showing, or hinting at anything I might *gasp* consider myself ok at. Even if I'm super excited about something I feel like I'm bragging or being rude!

- avoid dinner party sort of things... I never know how much to help or not help in the kitchen and with clean up because I don't know if people are going to think I'm rude for not helping/contributing enough, or too much, (this basically can just be "being at a friend's for food")

- having ANYONE over. Ever. I apologize so much for the mess because it's horrendously messy to me, but then I feel really guilty because most people who I DO eventually have over have even messier places which doesn't bother me, but then I feel like I'm insulting them... or like I am begging for compliments by apologizing for the mess and they have to give the polite response of "No, this isn't messy at all!!"

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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..."

"I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am.


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Default Mar 07, 2015 at 03:35 PM
  #7
At work:
• Being able to talk in the teachers meeting again and being cooperative in group work.

• Stop calculating the time to arrive work for avoiding to talk to my coworkers.
• Accept meals.

At my personal life:

• Accept my partner's friends invitations.
• Picking up the phone, specially to talk with my mother-in-law.
• Asking a question or asking for something without feeling anxiety and trying in a thousands of ways someone does it for me.
• Going to places without thinking that people are going to consider me an outsider.
• Taking criticisms in a moré assertive way.

Can't think on anything funny other than that;
• Being able to look at a hot guy in the street.

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Default Mar 08, 2015 at 03:05 PM
  #8
For avoiding, I even avoid going through open ladders. Is it something I should avoid as well?

Sorry for my bad joke. I can't stop making excuses for not correcting the exams.

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Angry Mar 08, 2015 at 04:27 PM
  #9
* Being seen doing anything that even ONE other human being on planet Earth might conceivably disapprove of
* Taking reasonable risks outside my comfort zone (this one really irks me)
* Admitting instructions are not fully clear to me
* Asking for advice or information unless I'm pretty sure the news will be good
* Making cold calls
* Driving an unfamiliar vehicle
* Writing things down in public
* Thinking about how other people see me
* Dealing with authority figures - unless they seem to be very friendly and/or in a really good mood and/or I already know them well (all three are ideal)
* Timed tests (an exercise in sheer terror)
* Interviews with multiple people, unless they seem very friendly
* Graphically violent movies/TV shows/news, because they can trigger intense anger towards the perpetrators
* Posting things on forums unless I'm 100% sure it doesn't sound silly, or I was in such an intense mood when writing it that I don't really care
* Being assertive, if I anticipate resistance
* Negotiating with people when the stakes seem high
* Talking about my accomplishments in groups of highly accomplished people
* Using mirrors (making eye contact with myself freaks me out)
* Seeing recordings or photographs of myself
* Climbing to high places
* Spiders, photographs of spiders, videos of spiders, and thinking about spiders (except jumping spiders, because I find them almost cute)

Some of these things I don't routinely avoid, but would if it were possible. I procrastinate more than I avoid.

Last edited by Onward2wards; Mar 08, 2015 at 04:56 PM..
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Default Mar 09, 2015 at 12:16 AM
  #10
I got a weird one. There's 2 roads out of my neighborhood leading to the same main road. They both the same length so it's a matter of personal preference. Anyways I totalled my car pulling out onto the main road from one of the roads. I haven't gone down the road in 3 years not even if my dog wants to walk down it. No one was hurt in the car accident, all was well.
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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 11:16 PM
  #11
I can't avoid it but I cringe when getting home from work and one of my neighbors is on his/her patio and tries talking to me... or just watches me.

One I'm really struggling with now is letting people know when they are bothering me; especially when they are trying to get me to make small talk with them. Most are perceptive enough, when my responses are clipped or I flat out don't respond, to back off. The ones that don't get it are excruciating. They just get louder and try harder. When this happens at work there is limited escape options. So I brood & glower & inwardly curse... then go home and have a meltdown.

People I suspect of not being able to leave me alone if I need it I avoid like the plague.

Also mirrors in public... I once worked up the nerve to greet a person walking toward me- when I smiled and said hello we both looked shocked and ran away. It was my own reflection, lol. That was a new level of humiliation for me.
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Default Mar 29, 2015 at 06:10 PM
  #12
*talking on the phone
*high places
*crowds
*talking face to face
*reading out loud
*bosses
*doing anything that someone would consider "weird"
* meeting people
*using public restrooms (especially when ppl talk to you)

I'm sure I have more just what came to me.
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Default Mar 29, 2015 at 08:19 PM
  #13
buying junk food if there is a crowd of people in a room. I feel they are judging me. I used to closet eat.
phones in offices (get extremely anxious when they ring)
work situations because I spent a lot of time at work being bullied
anything that might cause me to look stupid like dancing or karaoke
relationships because I have a fear of intimacy and feel I have to look perfect

There is probably more but these are the big ones I can think of.
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Default Mar 29, 2015 at 08:29 PM
  #14
Here is some more

Pictures of me. I hate cameras and people taking pictures of me. I feel like I am ugly.
Full length mirrors.
Returning to a group or something I haven't been to in awhile. I feel like people don't really want me around.
Accepting rides from people I don't know well because I feel I won't have anything to say to them.
People in authority
Walking in late. I feel people are staring at me.
Making small talk.
Having people over. I don't feel comfortable letting people in my house unless I know them extremely well.
A lot of activities because I think I won't be good at them.
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Default Mar 30, 2015 at 12:11 AM
  #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by darkfoxx View Post
*reading out loud
*using public restrooms (especially when ppl talk to you)
I have these two also
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Default Mar 30, 2015 at 12:14 AM
  #16
Quote:
Originally Posted by bounceback View Post
Here is some more

Pictures of me. I hate cameras and people taking pictures of me. I feel like I am ugly.
This is a big one for me
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Default Mar 30, 2015 at 08:50 PM
  #17
Oh! I definitely get overly paranoid about any possible bodily sound being made by me. With the exception of hiccups for some reason - those I find hilarious.

I also hate eating in front of people. I can't eat if someone else isn't also still eating - so if someone finishes a meal before I do, I'm likely to stop. I have to be REALLY comfortable with them to do otherwise. And when it's really quiet. I get so worried that people will hear me eat or think I look like a slob or judge me for what I eat. I'm also somewhat of a closet eater.

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"I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am.


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