Making people uncomfortable

AzulOscuro · Mar 17, 2015 at 07:16 PM

Have you ever felt that people are better without you, like you are a charge?
I normally don't feel like that with people who make me feel accepted, but out of it, I feel I'm messing all up in the most part of the situations.
I think it has to be with my self-steem. I'm not living my best moments.j

Mar 17, 2015 at 07:38 PM

Yes. I feel like that right now, actually.

A Red Panda · Mar 18, 2015 at 06:50 AM

I almost always feel like I'm dragging things down. Or just making things go however it is people DON'T want them to go.

AzulOscuro · Mar 18, 2015 at 09:22 AM

How you can change this so when you really are convinced that it's so true...
I feel like I could be integrated in my coworkers' group. They are really kind people, very friendly, funny...I never see myself good enough for them.
This has been a constant in my life.

I'm in a social group in the forum. Ok. Those days, I wrote much while the other people didn't do it. I'm beggining to think that they don't write bc of my presence.

I don't know if this is has to be with my father obssessive with the idea thst his kids didn't bother anyone or bc I'm really an asshole.

newday2020 · 11:20 AM

Sometimes it feels like rejection in social groups when there is no feedback. It feels like talking to yourself and people don't like you. I've had that feeling.
But the truth is maybe they are busy and caught up with something else.
it is our feeling that is triggered though.

Seems like there's more people on the forums than on the social group. Chances are better to get more response on the forums.

What are the options when feeling frustrated??

AzulOscuro · Mar 19, 2015 at 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susanemily

Sometimes it feels like rejection in social groups when there is no feedback. It feels like talking to yourself and people don't like you. I've had that feeling.
But the truth is maybe they are busy and caught up with something else.
it is our feeling that is triggered though.

Seems like there's more people on the forums than on the social group. Chances are better to get more response on the forums.

What are the options when feeling frustrated??

Don't know what's the option but I know what's the worst: avoid.
Avoid sets you in a surely loser position. Another bad past experience to take account in the future. No, no anymore.

newday2020 · Mar 19, 2015 at 09:48 AM

For me taking a step away helps when I'm frustrated. Going outside and letting it wear off
works for me. For some people venting is good.
I've been raking leaves here and I always feel better with the physical activity.

AzulOscuro · Mar 19, 2015 at 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susanemily

For me taking a step away helps when I'm frustrated. Going outside and letting it wear off
works for me. For some people venting is good.
I've been raking leaves here and I always feel better with the physical activity.

I always wanted to have a garden to be alone with my roses.

Perhaps, some day, I will have it.
For now, I have my kids, you know, my doggies. I never feel rejected by them.

I know that it's a problem with my self-steem. Ok, I can be boring as hell, I'm not intelligent, I have somany flaws but I do know that I'm not an asshole, either.

I'm very sad bc I thought my self-steem was high after my last therapy but only a couple of criticisms made me question my own value. It hurt me so badly.

I have to learn to be more assertive.

Thank you, Susan.

newday2020 · Mar 19, 2015 at 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

I always wanted to have a garden to be alone with my roses.

Perhaps, some day, I will have it.
For now, I have my kids, you know, my doggies. I never feel rejected by them.

I know that it's a problem with my self-steem. Ok, I can be boring as hell, I'm not intelligent, I have somany flaws but I do know that I'm not an asshole, either.

I'm very sad bc I thought my self-steem was high after my last therapy but only a couple of criticisms made me question my own value. It hurt me so badly.

I have to learn to be more assertive.

Thank you, Susan.

(((Azul))) Sometimes it seems like 1 step forward and 2 steps back.
You will get better because you have the will and the desire.
It's not a sprint it's a marathon.
You areintelligent (((teacher)))

and a good person.
I like doggie therapy too.
(((gentle hugs)))
Susan

AzulOscuro · 02:16 PM

Thank you, my friend!
It's possible that I am only taking an impulse to go forward furder than ever.

JadeAmethyst · Mar 19, 2015 at 05:26 PM

I will say that you/we can't please everyone, and that's the fact of real life. Being assertive as appropriate will be helpful when it is in context of the situation/people. I tend to keep people at arms distance (on purpose) in public/professional situations. People in general are living their lives as best they can, trying to see that has been helpful. How does it go with communicating with family and friends?

Jade

AzulOscuro · Mar 19, 2015 at 06:06 PM

I'm having a hard time with communication with my family and with my friends. I'm feeling a bit low, as I said before bc of my self-steem issue and I tend to avoid contact in these situations. I don't want to bother them. But, I feel accepted by them. That makes me keep hope.

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Anonymous200104 Guest Posts: n/a	Mar 17, 2015 at 07:38 PM #2 Yes. I feel like that right now, actually.
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newday2020 Member Member Since Feb 2009 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 360 15 596 hugs given	Mar 19, 2015 at 09:48 AM #7 For me taking a step away helps when I'm frustrated. Going outside and letting it wear off works for me. For some people venting is good. I've been raking leaves here and I always feel better with the physical activity.
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