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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
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Apr 20, 2015 at 06:43 AM
#1
Yes, I do it. And it sucks. It's a double edged weapon.
You do it as a defense mechanism. You cannot deal with much pain and you can't think worst about you so the added pain is the others responsability. You set yourself as the victim. It's much more comfortable than thinking of yourself as someone who needs to take responsability for what feel and the grade you let something or someone affects your peace. It's something you have to learn. Do you relate? And how to get a thick enough skill to have more confidence. I don't want to be in a shell anymore but I'm tempting to do it. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2012
Location: gone
Posts: 2,224
11 1,739 hugs
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Apr 20, 2015 at 04:58 PM
#2
  Yes, it's easy to relate to what you are sharing. The other side of the "thick skin" sounds like a slippery slope though IMHO.Calm assertive is what is helpful at home and in real life. Taking responsibility is more than always doing things for others. Giving oneself the self empathy one needs, and appreciation for our own efforts. An excellent book as a resource: How to be an Adult in Relationships-The Five Keys to Mindful Loving by, David Richo Also: Zen Mindful Listening is also a timely resource. And teaches tuning into our self talk and listening from an empowered empathetic partnership... It's very insightful that you have noticed this, this is how change started for myself also. Keep posting, you are not a shell, you deserve to be happy too! 
__________________ 
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 AzulOscuro
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 AzulOscuro
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
given
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Apr 21, 2015 at 07:46 AM
#3
Thank you, Jade.
I think this book is going to be very interesting and helpfull. I'm afraid a thick skin can only be gotten through living experiences and facing to things with the intention to learn and live them and don't letting the fear of failure stops you. I'm recalling now my dad's solution. Lol! My dad's solution to get a thick skin. He said one time I was very scared and sensible: women should go to the army. 
__________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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