feeling bad for making someone feel good

Yes, I know, I said I'm considering becoming a hermit, but I'm not there yet. I can't stay away from people. It's a really bad habit.

Do you second guess yourself even if the end result turns out good?

I do that all the time. I'll make someone feel like a million bucks, and then skewer myself because, what if it didn't turn out that way? what if they feel really good, and then they go back to normal, and in comparison now normal feels worse? are they going to expect me to keep up that level of good vibes for the rest of my life? there's no way I can do that, so will I now forever be known as a massive disappointment?

I post on another site where, believe it or not, every one is positive. It doesn't matter is you say something funny or snarky or kvetchy, everyone is supportive and takes it in a positive manner. I know, do these people actually exist? How on earth do I fit in there? lol

One woman was kvetching about how she went out last night and now today her pants feel tight. Me, being me, without thinking it through, just said to her, "I bet they make your butt look good." That's the type of thing I expect to get eviscerated for! But she said, "Yes they do!" and after a quick check for camel toe (not my input - someone else brought it up in order to help her make sure she looked put together - and that's how she gratefully took the advice! unbelievable!), she says she feels on top of the world for looking hot in her tight pants.

I did that. Probably if someone else had spoken up first, they'd have said something like, don't worry about it, they'll feel loose again tomorrow, and the whole conversation would have gone in a different direction. Equally supportive, but to the point that she would feel reassured rather than really good. It takes a certain amount of obnoxious irreverence to pull that off.

The thing is, now I can't let it go. I made her day, and put a positive spin on something she was feeling bad about, but it could have gone the other direction. She could have been offended. I'm sure there are other people who read that and were offended. People who don't know me are going to have definite opinions about me now, either that I'm a jackass or I'm the one who's going to be quick with the compliments. Note the order I wrote those in, which tells you what I assume most people are thinking about me.

Do you do this? Of course, if you do something that turns out bad, it makes sense that you're going to play it over and over in your mind. Makes sense to me anyway. But to have something good happen and think, oh, that could have turned out badly. Does that happen to you too?

i really try to live by the philosophy of when you do good you feel good. so if something good happens, i leave it at that. i have felt bad enough all my life, i take the good where ever i can get it and dwell on that goodness as long as i can.

if you do something that turns out bad, it makes sense that you're going to play it over and over in your mind. Makes sense to me anyway. I am not so sure this makes any sense at all. Consider whether you can learn from it and move on.

But to have something good happen and think, oh, that could have turned out badly. Often. You make choices all the time, often in a split instance, and sometimes it all goes south and sometimes not.