Loosing opportunities due to my avoidance

AzulOscuro · May 09, 2015 at 04:12 PM

I had a request to speak on the phone by an English native speaker.
I really need to improve my English but how am I going to be able to communicate myself in English when I barely can't communicate with people in Spanish. I had to say, sorry I can't fo it.
It tasted me so bad. It's another lost opportunity. The story of my life.

In another ocassion, I was invited to participate in a group in my city with English native speakers and I never dared to attend.

I went to Ireland and on the fourth day I felt like a lost child and had to quit.

It's not only my avoidance but also bc of a complex I always had about not being intelligent enough.

I'm so tired of this.

Crazy Hitch · May 10, 2015 at 01:26 AM

Hang in there Azul,

I found this article you may wish to read:

5 Tips to Increase Your Assertiveness | Psych Central

May 10, 2015 at 01:41 AM

I have the same complex about not being intelligent enough....

BreakForTheLight · May 10, 2015 at 03:21 AM

It's okay to miss oppertunities. Other oppertunities will come along.

If this is about something you do want to do in the future, you can start working on it now, preparing for the next oppertunity. Just don't put too much pressure on yourself!

You can work on it in two ways: practice your English speaking more with other people, people you trust who won't laugh at you.
And I would also suggest, next time you get an oppertunity you don't want to miss but you feel you might avoid - sit down and write down all your negative thoughts, reasons why you wouldn't do it, and then try to come up with a counter argument. Ask us for help with this if you need it. It's difficult, but something you have to do if you don't want to keep missing oppertunities.

AzulOscuro · May 10, 2015 at 06:52 AM

Break, good advices.
I can't take out the idea that I'm gonna bother people with my presence. I mean, there are much better without me.

I have only one face to face close friend. He is the only friend I am comfortable with. I feel I can be myself and he is not going to judge me. And there is a reason, he was the one who came close to me first.
Out of that, I don't give myself many opportunities to meet people.

I get on well with my coworkers. They seem to accept me. I feel accepted but I try to avoid them as much as I can. I don't wanna mess their good moments. Who am I?

bill1231 · May 14, 2015 at 06:13 AM

As one who avoided opportunites or wasted them all my life I urge you not to as I have so many regrets that it weighs me down. Please dont do what I did. I didnt go to college out of fear of failure, twice with scholorships and so many other instances as well. Please dont go down the path that I did.

AzulOscuro · May 14, 2015 at 04:46 PM

Bill, noone is more for going to school. My grandma always regreted that she had to work instead of going to school bc they were many siblibgs, but I think she was one of the most interesting person I ever meet. I understand what you say though.

Bill, can I ask you? Are you doing some kind of therapy? Never it's late. There's only one life and you, and only YOU, can do that tomorrow being a different day, a better day. We are here to give you a push.

bill1231 · May 16, 2015 at 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

Bill, noone is more for going to school. My grandma always regreted that she had to work instead of going to school bc they were many siblibgs, but I think she was one of the most interesting person I ever meet. I understand what you say though.

Bill, can I ask you? Are you doing some kind of therapy? Never it's late. There's only one life and you, and only YOU, can do that tomorrow being a different day, a better day. We are here to give you a push.

Yes, am doing mi9ndfulness right now and just got a new counselor but counseling has never gave me answers that really help, I know that a lot of mine comes from being bullied every day to the point that I wanted to die at 12 or 13 and it has carried over all of my life.

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Loosing opportunities due to my avoidance

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Crazy Hitch ɘvlovƎ Member Since Nov 2013 Location: Australia Posts: 18,558 (SuperPoster!) 10 12.6k hugs given	May 10, 2015 at 01:26 AM #2 Hang in there Azul, I found this article you may wish to read: 5 Tips to Increase Your Assertiveness \| Psych Central
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Anonymous37868 Guest Posts: n/a	May 10, 2015 at 01:41 AM #3 I have the same complex about not being intelligent enough....
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bill1231 Member Member Since Apr 2015 Location: USA Posts: 36 8 2 hugs given	May 14, 2015 at 06:13 AM #6 As one who avoided opportunites or wasted them all my life I urge you not to as I have so many regrets that it weighs me down. Please dont do what I did. I didnt go to college out of fear of failure, twice with scholorships and so many other instances as well. Please dont go down the path that I did.
	Reply With Quote