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bellaviolet
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Default Jun 20, 2015 at 01:44 AM
  #1
I am diagnosed OCD and GAD, but it's been 7 years since I've seen a therapist or shrink and even when I did, I wasn't totally forthcoming because I'm easily shamed and was maybe in denial. I don't think the OCD/GAD diagnoses were wrong, both of those things are definitely an issue, but I exhibit pretty much every recognized symptom of AvPD, and my continued inability to change my perception and thought process, despite knowing that they are screwed and not normal, make me believe I am avoidant. I'm basically incapable of having a relationship, because I am terrified of rejection and that fear makes me sacrifice who I am, not speak out when I want to, and go to ridiculous lengths to try to please people and be who they want me to be. I can't get past the idea that if I voice any opposition or dissent, people will want nothing to do with me. The few people I'm "close" to I'm still not really close to. I see myself as inferior, even though I know on an intellectual level that I am really not, and so I am always restrained. I recognize these issues within myself but up to this point - in my 40's now - I have been unable to make any lasting changes. Starting to feel kind of hopeless and like this is just who I am and it's not fixable. Can therapy actually help? Is it even possible after all this time that I could have a normal life? And even if I go to therapy, how do I get myself to open up and truly be honest with the t? It's starting to really wear on me that I find myself only able to open up via a keyboard and protected by the relative anonymity of the internet.

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Default Jun 20, 2015 at 02:47 AM
  #2
I think there is hope through therapy.

You can type out what you want to say at first if you need to.
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Default Jun 20, 2015 at 04:37 AM
  #3
therapy is a lifesaver sometimes especially if you can find a good therapist. it took me years to find the right one.
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Default Jun 20, 2015 at 09:59 AM
  #4
"Normal" is vastly overrated. Think about it, do you really want to be average? I mean, that's not really so great. For example, in the US, the "average" debt, for every single citizen, is over $15K. No thanks!

You can make the most progress if you look at the real underlying actual issue for yourself. Focus on what is most important for you.

Forget about what you're "supposed to" do. Get a "normal" job - that you hate just like everyone else. Why bother?

Forget about "everyone." If there is one person you want in your life, okay, that's your focus, do what you need to to have that one person in your life. Everyone else can stuff it.

I do this too, believe me. But the way to find peace is to try your best to forget about the vast majority of the world and focus on what's important to your life. No one on earth is going to please everyone, that is impossible.

Learn to work within your limitations. That is very possible, and therapy can help you get there. But, you have to forget about "normal" and go for what you yourself want.
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Default Jun 21, 2015 at 12:51 PM
  #5
I relate completely with you
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Default Feb 15, 2020 at 09:44 PM
  #6
This is a very old thread but I completely agree... the best hope imo is forgetting about ''normal'' - its a load of crock. Who cares about the ''normals'' and their judgments, most of them are utterly boring and completely wrong. If you have one good friend, or a partner, or a pet? There is nothing ''wrong'' with that. Some of the most horrible people think they are ''normal''.. their so called ''success'' is bs. jmo.

It does sometimes happen that if someone voices any difference of opinion, or dissent, then that person will want nothing to do with you. It is likely that the rejector has an ''issue'' though.... not everything is ''your fault''

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