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fraidykat
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Default May 09, 2017 at 10:31 PM
  #1
Since discovering this site, I have found so many common personality glitches that I thought were my own 'freak' abnormalities. I'm now wondering if anyone else is equally afraid they won't be able to 'shake' a clingy new friend if it doesn't work out (and it NEVER does...) as much as they fear some rejection from the said new friend if you DO like them?
My mother was constantly trapped by her situation into entertaining neighbors ~ but never actually liking any of them...I assume that's were I've developed the fear, but maybe it's a common AvPD trait?

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Default May 10, 2017 at 07:00 AM
  #2
Yes. I think I became AVPD when I was a kid. I had to wear a backbrace and often I was "trapped" with people that I didn't want to be with that either (1) would tolerate me with he brace or (2) were pitying me with the brace. So now I have a serious problem with being "trapped" in relationships.

I continue to also feel trapped because I have so many people that seem to see me as freely usable. It might be because I have very little friends and thus they think they can use me. Even if I manage to jettison some people who use me... I just get stuck with others.

A recent person came to my office, sat down, and discussed an issue with his daughter (it doesn't help that I am apparently a great listener). All could think in my head was how angry I was getting that he ever would presume I would give ANY care about some teenage drama of person I have never met and a teen. Obviously he just wanted to get this off his chest and no one else would tolerate it. As he went on I felt so trapped in my own office and really had to work hard not to blow up on him.

I started to talk about my cat... and as usual, he had to "get back to his office". At this point... I am not even surprised just angry.
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BreakForTheLight
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Default May 10, 2017 at 12:56 PM
  #3
No. I'm pretty sure most people will get sick of me first.
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Default May 11, 2017 at 12:36 PM
  #4
I avoid clingy people because I find them annoying. Perhaps a desire to not be trapped underlies that annoyed feeling.

I would not mind someone talking to me at work, but I do mind calls at all hours and always being needy.

My avoidance seems to come in more with people that I perceive as "dangerous" due to their anger. Rationally, I know they are not going to physically hurt me. But anyone who has an angry type of personality or is easily angered is not going to be my friend.
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Default Jun 04, 2017 at 03:52 AM
  #5
Yep, its that safe distance to come and go without being drowned and being triggered from it.

We need to be able to move in and out of peoples lives with the objective to keep our AvPD balanced at all times.

People tend to keep coming and coming or we give something up that bites us in the *** later and ultimately tipping the scales in a negative way.

The punishment that AvPD inflicts varies as it has done since early childhood.
I have noticed that our AvPD tends to enlist a multitude of emotions to have us tow the line, or in a extreme it calls upon the services of depression as a final show of strength against us.

We are always standing with our arms stretched out between normality and our AvPD trying to keep both sides happy.

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It’s never alright. It comes and it goes.
It’s always around, even when it don’t show.
They say it gets better. well I guess that it might.
But even when it’s better, it’s never alright.
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