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Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 244
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Aug 06, 2017 at 03:55 AM
#1
Has anyone just advoid there family because the things they say really hurt? Or them throwing there temper is terrifying?
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 Fuzzybear, HD7970GHZ, lotusblossom19
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Member
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Scandinavia
Posts: 86
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Aug 06, 2017 at 04:28 AM
#2
Hi Blue Jeans! I avoid my family a lot. We are not close at all and usually its the old boring smalltalk. Sometimes they can say things that hurt and it annoys the hell out of me, but what can I say? Not easy for people without avpd to understand why a 34 year old man is living by himself, no friends, never had a girlfriend etc. WHat is your situation? Does your family talk a lot of **** to you? If so, do you think some of this might be the reason you avoid people?
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| HD7970GHZ, lotusblossom19
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
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Aug 14, 2017 at 03:14 PM
#3
Not a "close family" (PUs) (parental units etc) - check
Abuse - check I regret your family are sub optimal. Sometimes avoiding them is necessary  
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| HD7970GHZ, lotusblossom19
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 HD7970GHZ
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Aug 14, 2017 at 06:34 PM
#4
I avoid my family. Most of them started avoiding me first.
I even got some birthday cards recently that I haven't even opened yet. Maybe I just won't. |
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| HD7970GHZ, lotusblossom19
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Member
Member Since Dec 2015
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 95
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Aug 14, 2017 at 09:18 PM
#5
Yep. I have absolutely no contact with my family of origin except for occasional, superficial visits with my mother. This is necessary for my emotional survival.
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| HD7970GHZ, lotusblossom19
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Member
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 45
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Aug 22, 2017 at 03:51 PM
#6
Man oh MAN can I relate! The only member of my immediate family I have left is a sister that's 11 years my senior. We have so, SO much unsettled history ~ her 1st husband was a child molester, yes, I was one of his victims ~ we NEVER addressed this, the family was old school, preferring to keep family dirty laundry buried... Recently, a shared niece did a ancestor.com search, and discovered our brother was not her father *a fact I was convinced of all along...* the niece tells my sister 4 mths before me, when I contact my sister after hearing about it, she interrupts my call to say, " I know where you're going with this ~ she told me 4 mths ago..." I am so angry that she didn't bother to validate my long held assumption. (our brother was a brittle diabetic with a substantial potential estate this niece's mother was focused on attaining) instead felt somehow aligned with the money grubbing troll that married our brother while pregnant ~ hoping to cash in! My sister never contacts me til she needs someone to do something for her...I'm DONE!
__________________  From deep within our secret soul do demons dwell and take their toll
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| HD7970GHZ, lotusblossom19
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: N/A
Posts: 1,776
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Sep 07, 2017 at 10:41 PM
#7
Absolutely relate. Keep in mind that avoiding family and friends can happen for many reasons. Sometimes it is necessary, sometimes it is justified, sometimes it is due to trauma, etc.
I haven't spoken to some of my family in a very long time and I have felt better ever since. I absolutely relate to being hurt from the things they say and do. At one point it got so bad that they couldn't do anything without hurting me. I realized then and there that I had to set MAJOR limits and boundaries for my own sanity. It was a difficult decision to make, but it was necessary. Thanks, HD7970ghz __________________ "stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
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| lotusblossom19
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Lotus Land
Posts: 1,424
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Sep 08, 2017 at 04:23 AM
#8
Yes. There are some relatives whose energy I find toxic and draining to be around, so I keep my distance to protect myself. I'm too sensitive to keep setting myself up for my feelings to be invalidated. These people won't change, so I've changed the frequency of our interactions.
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Member
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: Michigan
Posts: 106
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Dec 05, 2017 at 02:42 PM
#9
Sometimes i try but its hard for me to go around family very much. I am to sensitive and somethings my mother says hurts my feelings and just rubs me the wrong way. I have been like this all of my life and i wish things were different and i wish that there was more people than none that i associated with. I have a boyfriend, but i barely talk to him because i just dont know how to.
__________________  Stephanie------------------------------------------------------------- Borderline personality disorder, Agoraphobia, Social phobia, Depression, Anxiety, Pre-menopause, Sleep apnea, Fibromyalgia, AVPD Meds- Cymbalta, Latuda, Aderall, Nuvigil ------------------------------------------------------------ |
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