I'm always avoiding - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-22-2017, 08:07 PM #1
GlitterWolf's Avatar
GlitterWolf GlitterWolf is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Woods
Posts: 29
GlitterWolf GlitterWolf is offline
Member
GlitterWolf's Avatar
GlitterWolf has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Woods
Posts: 29

3 yr Member
12 hugs
given
Default I'm always avoiding

Hello,

I spend all my days inside the house. I go out sometimes for chores, a class, shops and visit to my doctor and dentist. I hate going out. I don't hate people, honestly. But I'm scared of being looked at and laughed at.
GlitterWolf is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Old 09-07-2017, 08:48 PM #2
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 81,215
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 81,215 (SuperPoster!)

15 yr Member
53.5k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I'm always avoiding

I'm sorry, this sounds very painful. And I'm sorry no one has replied yet to your post. This particular forum is often very quiet.

Maybe some people might laugh because somebody seems different, I don't know. But I think those who would laugh have a bigger problem.

I'm sending kind thoughts
__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 09-07-2017, 10:26 PM #3
HD7970GHZ's Avatar
HD7970GHZ HD7970GHZ is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,485
HD7970GHZ HD7970GHZ is offline
Poohbah
HD7970GHZ's Avatar
HD7970GHZ Primum Non Nocere
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,485

5 yr Member
2,019 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I'm always avoiding

Hi Glitterwolf,

I am sorry that you are experiencing a life of avoidance. It is very difficult. I have Avoidant Personality Disorder as well and I am so sorry you have to live like this.

When you ARE out and about, do you feel a pressing need to return to your home, or are you able to fight that urge and stay out a little bit longer? I assume you have tried to break this lifestyle in the past? If so, how did it go? Were you able to make headway? Did you get hurt when you tried? What do you do when you are at home? Do you ever feel conflicting emotions, some positive and some negative? Like a part of you that wants to get out of your home and explore the world, and another part of you that says to stay and be safe?

I wish I had answers as to how to break out of this pattern of behavior, but I am stuck in it as well. I have been forcing myself out to social events, trying to be gentle with myself through the whole process of change, but it is SO very difficult. Sometimes I end up in tears after a day of being out and about. I find that I can get out of my apartment and live life for a few good months at most and then I retreat back to living in isolation and avoiding everything and everyone.. Then I get sick of isolating and so I force myself out and then I repeat the cycle...

Do you relate to that?

I hope you are having a good day. And Fuzzy Bear is right, this part of the forums is quiet, which is too bad because this disorder is debilitating.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz
__________________
"stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget"
"roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles"
"the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy"
"don't put all your eggs - in one basket"
"promote pleasure - prevent pain"
"with change - comes loss"
HD7970GHZ is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 12-05-2017, 01:52 PM #4
pinkdiva42 pinkdiva42 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Michigan
Posts: 106
pinkdiva42 pinkdiva42 is offline
Member
pinkdiva42 HAPPY AND PARTICIPATING IN MY RECOVERY:)
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Michigan
Posts: 106

1 yr Member
115 hugs
given
Default Re: I'm always avoiding

Quote:
Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ View Post
Hi Glitterwolf,

I am sorry that you are experiencing a life of avoidance. It is very difficult. I have Avoidant Personality Disorder as well and I am so sorry you have to live like this.

When you ARE out and about, do you feel a pressing need to return to your home, or are you able to fight that urge and stay out a little bit longer? I assume you have tried to break this lifestyle in the past? If so, how did it go? Were you able to make headway? Did you get hurt when you tried? What do you do when you are at home? Do you ever feel conflicting emotions, some positive and some negative? Like a part of you that wants to get out of your home and explore the world, and another part of you that says to stay and be safe?

I wish I had answers as to how to break out of this pattern of behavior, but I am stuck in it as well. I have been forcing myself out to social events, trying to be gentle with myself through the whole process of change, but it is SO very difficult. Sometimes I end up in tears after a day of being out and about. I find that I can get out of my apartment and live life for a few good months at most and then I retreat back to living in isolation and avoiding everything and everyone.. Then I get sick of isolating and so I force myself out and then I repeat the cycle...

Do you relate to that?

I hope you are having a good day. And Fuzzy Bear is right, this part of the forums is quiet, which is too bad because this disorder is debilitating.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Thank you for this. I cannot even imagine a few months of getting out and socializing. In all of my 42 years i cant even keep doctors appoinments or therapy appointments for fear of socializing and not knowing what to say and just being so uncomfortable even in a store going up to the cashier. I have actually left my cart in the aisle and walked out instead of having a conversation with people in the line or the cashier.
I dont know how to get out of this but i want to find a way and i am looking for suggestions as to what i can do. I cant be getting older and older and not helping myself. Ineed support and suggestions from this group as to how i can break out of this shell i am in and some baby steps i can take to move forward.
__________________
Stephanie

-------------------------------------------------------------

Borderline personality disorder, Agoraphobia, Social phobia, Depression, Anxiety, Pre-menopause, Sleep apnea, Fibromyalgia, AVPD

Meds- Cymbalta, Latuda, Aderall, Nuvigil
------------------------------------------------------------
pinkdiva42 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 11-25-2018, 05:37 PM #5
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 81,215
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 81,215 (SuperPoster!)

15 yr Member
53.5k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I'm always avoiding

Iím sending more hugs
__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 11-26-2018, 06:48 AM #6
GobletOfFire GobletOfFire is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Europe
Posts: 10
GobletOfFire GobletOfFire is offline
Junior Member
GobletOfFire has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Europe
Posts: 10

1 hugs
given
Default Re: I'm always avoiding

This is an awfully quiet forum. I check in every day but few comments are added. Lol, it would be quirky if indeed that were happening because of avoidance issues.
GobletOfFire is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 06-15-2019, 04:22 PM #7
zapatoes's Avatar
zapatoes zapatoes is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: Islandia
Posts: 810
zapatoes zapatoes is offline
Grand Member
zapatoes's Avatar
zapatoes Mood: Ok
 
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: Islandia
Posts: 810 (SuperPoster!)

576 hugs
given
Default Re: I'm always avoiding

In general I am a pretty avoidant person it seems with traits of this disorder. I dislike confronting others and unfortunately I may be more passive aggressive at times or just avoid someone, and thatís usually easiest. Dislike being judged and observed when presenting and canít even work in my past profession since a past boss was vicious and nit picked every little thing I did when I gave a presentation. Then later I find out Iím almost autistic and canít help that Iím not good at public speaking and social interaction. My brilliant oh so intelligent past boss (extreme sarcasm) was so wonderful to work with, what a way to find out, get bullied, take neuropsychological evaluation and find out oh you have this learning difference.
zapatoes is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 06-22-2019, 06:52 PM #8
TiredPilgrim's Avatar
TiredPilgrim TiredPilgrim is offline
Member
 
Member Since: May 2016
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 217
TiredPilgrim TiredPilgrim is offline
Member
TiredPilgrim's Avatar
TiredPilgrim has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2016
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 217

3 yr Member
179 hugs
given
Default Re: I'm always avoiding

My boss sounds a lot like your former boss, zapatoes. I am glad that you don't have that toxicity in your life anymore.



I don't think anyone would figure me for being avoidant, but when I read through the descriptions in the info page, it all falls in line. I don't get out except to work - I don't even go grocery shopping if I can avoid it. I even have a hard time visiting family, and they have always been loving and supportive. I am a difficult person to know, though not deliberately. I am the kind you can work with for five years and still not know my middle name or where my parents live.



For most all my life I have had a problem with frequently feeling disconnected from my body and my environment - do any other 'avoidants' have this problem? I haven't been diagnosed depers/dereal, but then again, I haven't really told any of my counselors about it. I have never felt 'hyper aware' of my surroundings, though, and anxiety tends to make me space out even more than I normally do.
__________________
'Religion is for people who are afraid of going to Hell.
Spirituality is for those who have already been there.'
--Vine Deloria

'Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.'
--Anonymous

TiredPilgrim is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:46 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.