sad for my sister

I'm very estranged from my sister. She's beyond obnoxious, and an active alcoholic, and to say we don't get along is the understatement of the year. Our entire lives my mother especially has pitted us against each other, and set us up for competition with each other. Both of us are better when we don't have contact with each other.

My mother has been up to her ornery ways, refused to follow doctor's orders because they're "inconvenient" and she just plain "doesn't want to," and landed herself in the hospital. The only time I talk to my sister is when I have to give her updates because my mother is ill.

I called my sister to tell her what was going on with my mother, and what an idiot she was to ignore her doctors, and my sister got beyond pissed at me for saying that. She repeated the line my mother has said to us about 97,000 times each - that she (my mother) is smarter than both of us.

Of course I told my sister that's not true. Because it's not! It's lunacy! It's part of my mother's calculated abuse! Thinking about it now, because of course we would never tell anyone outside our immediate family the crap we were hearing, I think there's a possibility my sister has never heard that before, that my mother is not smarter than her. Because believe me, when you do some basic comparisons, my mother has done some boneheaded things, so if she was smarter than us, we must be pretty damn stupid.

My sister is so arrogant and hateful and has no remorse about her drinking and the effect it has on people. She's a brat when it comes down to it, a spoiled brat. I got the brunt of the abuse, and it seemed not to affect her (except the drinking) so I thought she came out of it okay.

This is the first time I've really, I don't know, had sympathy for her? That's inaccurate. I thought she had some serious spunk to come out of that house in one piece. She moved across the country and put everyone behind her. It's the first time I've seen how deeply it's still entrenched, and that she believed all that crap.

I've been angry when she's repeated some of the things we heard from our childhood. Like *****ing about the copays when she takes her kids to the doctors. God I hope her kids never hear that. She lives in a million dollar house, to hear her ***** about $25, doesn't she know how worthless that's going to make her kids feel? That they're not worth $25 when they're sick? I'm disgusted whenever I hear her repeating **** like that.

Now I know it's everything that was said to her is still festering inside her.
It's not just a convenient throw away thing she spits up when she's being pissy.

I'm so sad for my sister.

And then she reminds me why I have nothing to do with her...

She decided to be the "cool mom" and took her twelve year old son and a bunch of his friends to see IT. I saw the movie. There is no way any child should be subjected to it. And this isn't just any kid, this is my nephew. Abuse, assault, near incest, torture, murder, gore, mayhem, psychological mind****ery - no child should experience this, even vicariously.

I always said that book reminded me of my childhood. Maybe she was trying to let her son see what it was like? Or maybe she was being selfish and impulsive and trying to create drama because her life was getting a little too boring lately.

I can't tolerate selfish and self-centered people. They are the dregs of humanity, irredeemable. People who are cruel to others because they think they'll get something out of it, or even those who just lack empathy, or *cringe* the ones who have empathy but don't care because their selfishness is paramount. My sister is why I feel this way. Seeing her in action, not caring in the slightest the effect she has on people, it's stomach turning.