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Can'tseethelight
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Member Since: Sep 2017
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Default Sep 24, 2017 at 04:24 PM
  #1
Hello. I am new here. Female in my late 40's. I have been tortured by social anxiety/Avpd for, what seems like, my entire life. It has impacted/destroyed every corner of my life to one degree or another. Always being on guard against being judged or criticised, in most cases unnecessarily, is exhausting. I wasn't able to complete university, haven't been able to hold down a job long-term, haven't had a long-term, fulfilling relationship with the opposite sex. It is like I can only let people in up to a certain point. Then I withdraw or reject the person/situation before I can be rejected. Like a typical Avpd, I am not likely to try new things. Therefore, I feel like a shell with no interests or hobbies. I can honestly say that I have never felt joy, happiness, or excitement for anything in life. Every experience is clouded by apprehension, anxiety, and negative thoughts. Except for sometimes when I have been drinking. Only then do the thoughts subside and I feel like I can let the real me out. A magnified version of me maybe, but it is liberating at the time. Of course, the backlash is always horrible. It is only my fear of being judged that has kept me from being a heavy drinker. Anyways, this is just a quick introduction. Hope to be able to chat with some of you in the chatroom soon. By the way, does a reply to a post count as a post?
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Snap66
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Default Sep 25, 2017 at 09:48 AM
  #2
I believe its the amount of times you post not our replies that allow you to reach chat-room availability...but I'm sure people much wiser than me can confirm that for you.

Welcome Can't

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Diagnosed: AvPD.

It’s never alright. It comes and it goes.
It’s always around, even when it don’t show.
They say it gets better. well I guess that it might.
But even when it’s better, it’s never alright.
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Hoasis
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Default Oct 01, 2017 at 04:22 AM
  #3
Welcome to the forum, always good to see new people here! I am in pretty much the same situation, although a bit younger (Mid 30's). If you want some one to talk to and share things (always good to know people are in the same situation) let me know. Hope you have a great sunday!
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Shazerac
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Default Oct 01, 2017 at 11:40 AM
  #4
Welcome to psych central

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Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day!

"Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 -
Seroquel 100
Celexa 20 mg
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CepheidVariable
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Default Oct 01, 2017 at 12:38 PM
  #5
Hello.

I just noticed your post this weekend. Unfortunately, but perhaps not surprisingly, this (AvPD) subforum doesn't see a lot of activity. I mostly frequent the related forums for anxiety and depression. But maybe we can generate some traffic here.

I'm in my late 40s as well, and I can really relate to most of what you said. Although until recently, I was able to maintain some hobbies fairly well. Sadly, they were solo activities for the most part.

As for posting, anything you post counts towards the total, regardless of whether it's a reply or not. Other people's replies to you don't count. It's not hard to get to five. Just tell us your favorite ice cream or something.

Sorry, I don't do live chat myself. It makes me anxious. But there are lots of others. Welcome to PC.
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crystal blue
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Default Oct 24, 2017 at 07:19 PM
  #6
I would be glad to chat with you. I have been diagnosed with PTSD but I also have traits of avpd. I got through school with white knuckles, but now I am homebound with anxiety. I am on disability. I also feel like I have fought this all my life. Now at 58 yo, I am tired of fighting it. I have no friends, no family and I isolate 24/7. I do feel loneliness and wish for people to chat with.

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I am an RN who is now not working and on permanent disability (SSD) for PTSD.
Current meds:
Buspar
Citalopram
Quetiapine (for sleep)
I currently isolate everyday. I am ok with that, but some times feel lonely. However, I do not want to have a relationship in the real world in person as people make me nervous. I have trust issues.
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pinkdiva42
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Default Dec 05, 2017 at 03:22 PM
  #7
Hey i just read your post i am new to this and finally found the name for what i have had all my life but didnt know it was APD i am 42 years old and same like u i rather chat online i am to anxious to talk to people in person. I would love to chat with u anytime on here. i am on SSi dissabilty, dont work and stay home 24 hours a day. i wish i wasnt like this and would like to find small steps i can take to get myself out of this

Quote:
Originally Posted by crystal blue View Post
I would be glad to chat with you. I have been diagnosed with PTSD but I also have traits of avpd. I got through school with white knuckles, but now I am homebound with anxiety. I am on disability. I also feel like I have fought this all my life. Now at 58 yo, I am tired of fighting it. I have no friends, no family and I isolate 24/7. I do feel loneliness and wish for people to chat with.

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Stephanie

-------------------------------------------------------------

Borderline personality disorder, Agoraphobia, Social phobia, Depression, Anxiety, Pre-menopause, Sleep apnea, Fibromyalgia, AVPD

Meds- Cymbalta, Latuda, Aderall, Nuvigil
------------------------------------------------------------
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Fuzzybear
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Default Jan 09, 2018 at 04:09 PM
  #8
A belated welcome

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