I may have been misdiagnoosed as ptsd

I think I may have been misdiagnosed as ptsd. I have just recently been reading about AVPD and it seems to fit my symptoms better. I have been told I can't have this because I did marry in my life (though now a widow), and I did make it through nursing school, though I had a horrible time in my working life with dealing with people. I isolate all the time, I do want to connect with people, but, I cannot in real life, just online. I am older now, 58, and so I feel I should just accept it as I am and not try anymore to 'cure' it. Does anyone feel this way?

Hi Crystal Blue,

There is absolutely no [one size fits all] box that fits everyone perfectly when it comes to diagnosis (as I am sure you know from your career in nursing). You can absolutely be married and have AvPD. All humans crave intimacy and closeness and companionship; having AvPD does not take away from the fact that you are a human with needs. And just for the sake of crushing potential thought processes - it is GOOD that you were married!

Is there any way you can find out if you were diagnosed with PTSD? Seems you're not sure. Personality disorders have been known to stem from abuse / trauma. Perhaps you have PTSD from your years of nursing? That is also quite common.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

You can have both. Personality disorders and PTSD are often comorbid. You could seek out testing from a psychologist if you want an official diagnosis.

when i got diagnosed they told me sometimes misdagnoses happen and its complicated because at first they thought i was bipolar but then told me it was actually borderline personality disorder

Oh yes, I have been officially diagnosed with PTSD. I just feel like others with PTSD do not isolate as much as me or avoid people as much as me. I think my nursing and getting through school was something I did while in the shock of my husband dying.
My therapist/counselor at one point told me I had such a history of trauma that she didn't know how I get out of bed. (I thought that was odd for a therapist to say at the time). I think maybe I mean I may also have avoidant PD. The same therapist said I had avpd traits. I don't really see a difference between having the traits and having the real thing.

I think maybe that is what I meant to say. I probably should have been diagnosed with both and not just one.

To get a diagnosis of a PD you have to have both a genetic predisposition and a history of chronic child abuse. There are separate diagnostic criteria for having a personality disorder, that all people with PD's share, and then also specific criteria for the specific PD, so it's actually a double diagnosis.

Having traits means that you have maladaptive coping skills. In other words, you react to certain stimuli in the same way someone with a PD might.

I'm not trying to make this sound like a contest, but it's a matter of degrees - if you have traits, they aren't as extreme or all encompassing as the PD. Which isn't to say they don't deeply affect you. But it also makes it very difficult to self diagnose, because you might have a trait that seems like it completely shuts you down, but it might literally be 4 times worse for someone with a PD. But pain is pain, it's really hard to step outside your pain to analyse it or compare your experience to someone else's when you're in the middle of it.

PD's are also consistent - you react the same way in all incidences. That's why it was suggested that you couldn't have AvPD if you're married. That's ridiculous, there are people with AvPD who are married. I think whoever told you that glossed over their explanation. People with AvPD who are married still feel unworthy compared to their spouses, just like everyone else they come across, and take the blame for every problem in their relationship, even when it's clearly due to their partner's behavior.

Here's the really good news if you have traits - you can learn new coping skills and you can replace the maladaptive ones with more effective skills. If you have a full blown PD there is no cure, there is no way to replace maladaptive coping skills, you just have to learn to accept them and mold your life to your PD.

A really good program to learn new coping skills is DBT. It has a step by step program that teaches you how to be aware of your thought patterns, decide if they're working for you, and help you develop new ones if they're not working for you.

I think what you are saying is true. I have had these traits since grade school. I did what I had to do to get through school, but always with symptoms. I wasmarried, but am widowed now. I am on total disability. At 58 years old, and doing battle with these symptoms all my life, I think I need to learn how to live with them. I am exhausted with the fighting.