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BreakForTheLight
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Default Dec 15, 2017 at 02:30 PM
  #1
I think I already know the answer to this question will be "not many" for most people. But it just baffles me every time I see a post on Facebook and there's all these people talking about how they suffer from anxiety or depression or both, even when it has nothing to do with the original post at all. It's like people can't even write anything anymore without mentioning those things. I just don't understand why people would feel the need to tell this to the world. Of course it's in the nature of AvPD to not share such personal details. (And this forum is different because it's anonymous)

For me, only my parents know, and I've told one friend. And only because she's just as big of a mess as I am, and I know all of her issues. And obviously some people I've been in therapy with know about my AvPD.

I'm afraid I will get in a situation soon where I might have to tell my team lead at work more than I want to share, because she wants me to do a training for social skills/first impression/presentation and I really don't want to do that. If years of therapy hasn't helped much I really doubt some one day training will make a difference. I'm afraid it'll do more harm than good if I'm confronted with all my issues/shortcomings and how different I am to other people, and having to share personal things with complete strangers and get judged and have my flaws pointed out to me. And not in a safe environment - a company training led by an occupational psychologist, not a therapist. My company also offers a lot of trainings where you give a presentation ON CAMERA and then the WHOLE group watches the tape and analyzes it. There is no way in hell I would ever do that.

We made a compromise that this year, she let me do a different training that I picked (time management), but next year I have to do one of those. I will have to explain to her why that would be a bad idea. She doesn't need to know my full diagnosis, but I will have to admit that I have issues that run very deep. Which will probably turn into a disaster because I can't really talk about it without crying and I am NOT going to cry in front of my team lead.

And that just went into a whole different direction to what I was thinking about when I started writing this topic Guess I hadn't realized how worried I am about this.
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Default Dec 16, 2017 at 01:01 AM
  #2
Only my Ts, pdoc, best friend and husband know.

I think people are getting a lot more comfortable talking about depression and anxiety. 30 years ago no one talked about addictions and now lots of people talk about those, too. Probably in 50 years, everyone will be telling the world about personality disorders.
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Default Dec 16, 2017 at 01:35 AM
  #3
Is it the team leaders idea or from above with this work role/policy change?

In regards to the team leader she doesn't need to know, even if she is a lovely person just kept it to yourself.
(you have told three people for a reason remember)

And to mention AvPD to others is only opening yourself up to a world of negative thoughts and anguish...plus It's important that you function with thoughts of work and stability rather than trying to manage the fallout of spiralling and damage control.

Run with- Struggles in social situations and social anxieties.
Very much acceptable these days, even to those who don't understand MH.

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It’s never alright. It comes and it goes.
It’s always around, even when it don’t show.
They say it gets better. well I guess that it might.
But even when it’s better, it’s never alright.
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Default Dec 16, 2017 at 08:22 AM
  #4
"to mention AvPD to others is only opening yourself up to a world of negative thoughts and anguish...plus It's important that you function with thoughts of work and stability rather than trying to manage the fallout of spiralling and damage control"

Not sure if that made sense to you, but is basically better for you to worry about what you know, not what they know about you.

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Diagnosed: AvPD.

It’s never alright. It comes and it goes.
It’s always around, even when it don’t show.
They say it gets better. well I guess that it might.
But even when it’s better, it’s never alright.
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BreakForTheLight
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Default Dec 16, 2017 at 09:43 AM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snap66 View Post
Is it the team leaders idea or from above with this work role/policy change?
It's her idea. Actually, my previous team lead wanted me to do the personality/first impression training as well, 3 years ago, but I got out of it when I quit

It's so very frustrating to keep hearing that I need to improve my communication when I'm already at a place now which seemed impossible to me 5 years ago. I get that people who didn't know me back then don't know this but it's still disheartening.
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Default Dec 16, 2017 at 09:51 AM
  #6
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Originally Posted by kecanoe View Post
Only my Ts, pdoc, best friend and husband know.

I think people are getting a lot more comfortable talking about depression and anxiety. 30 years ago no one talked about addictions and now lots of people talk about those, too. Probably in 50 years, everyone will be telling the world about personality disorders.
Yeah, I see what you mean and that is a good thing. But I was also talking about how people have to mention these things even when it's not relevant. Almost like it's a cool thing to have. I just don't see the point of telling people you have anxiety or depression when you're talking about something completely unrelated. Like if you were to start a Facebook comment in reply to a post about a football match with "I'm a vegetarian".

I think a few more people might know about my depression - there was one time when I was so pissed off at the way my doctor treated me that I told a few people what happened at the appointment, but I did hope that maybe it wouldn't really register with them? And I pretended it was just that one depressive episode I had 3 years ago, never told them I've been dealing with it for 15 years.
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Default Dec 16, 2017 at 09:26 PM
  #7
My parents and siblings know about my lifelong social issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem problems, and all the ways those have ruined my life. But AvPD specifically? No. I don't see where it's helpful to get into the diagnostic weeds with them. They get the basic issues. Sort of.

I told an old friend about my depression. But not the rest.

That's it.

Obviously I talk about it here, and it's on my profile. But I keep this account anonymous.

I think Snap66's advice is good.

I don't do Facebook or social media in general, so I won't comment on that. Sorry I don't have anything more helpful.
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Default Dec 18, 2017 at 11:36 AM
  #8
Only my doctor knows, why would I even tell anyone else about it, what good does it do? Only people with avpd understands why I like to spend so much time alone. Explaining people I have a PD will only give them more **** to talk about when I am not there. I havent told her but pretty sure my computer knows it haha!
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Default Dec 20, 2017 at 04:45 PM
  #9
I think the only way for the world to change is people stepping out of their comfort zone and facing the world... opening others people's eyes by sharing our mental problems with them. Nothing is easy at first but the more the world is told about it the normal it gets.

I have this dream (just a dream) of writting about my strugles, not going by my real name, I know I won't do it.
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Default Jan 11, 2018 at 11:19 AM
  #10
“My doctor” was judgemental and completely lacking in understanding (or social skills )

He is no longer “my doctor”

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