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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
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#1
Hi, gang. So, one of the issues I have had, honestly, for a few years, is that I rarely if ever smile or laugh anymore. Even when not in a big depression, I find it nearly impossible to smile and more difficult still to laugh. I don't think it is my atypicals (now, Seroquel and Abilify), since, when off them, this did not improve.
I have heard anecdotally people on lithium state that they feel sometimes lithium can 'blunt' affect somewhat and make laughter less common. I am wondering if anyone less here has thoughts on this. It is quite disappointing to live this way. I used to be considered a somewhat funny person by my friends. I seemed to make other people laugh a lot. I don't do that anymore, mostly because I find almost nothing amusing. The idea of watching a comedy is just laughable to me. Why would anyone ever do that? Anyhow, just looking for some help here. Thanks. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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*Beth*, Anonymous46341, zapatoes
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#2
I am not on any medication,but I can relate.I never considered myself as having sense of humour, but people told me I was.I cracked jokes on myself and made people laugh.Recently one of my cousin told me he stopped visiting my parents after I moved out because there was no fun anymore.I was surprised at couple of comments he made.He compared me to one of the famous comedian and a to a beautiful Hollywood actress.I came home and watched myself in the mirror and horrified to see myself.My face looked like I have just had facial palsy.I couldn't smile anymore.I couldn't laugh either.I haven't done so in ages.I am putting much effort to smile and it hurts physically.But I am hellbent to do it.I am watching comedies.I like Mr Bean.I am smiling at myself in the mirror and my jaws hurt less now.My face is returning to its normal look.Please put time and intent into smiling even if you don't want to.
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Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, zapatoes
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bpcyclist
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#3
I'm sorry you're struggling to enjoy humor in your life. I think for many, like me, it was/is mood related. I no longer struggle with a flat feeling. I have periods when I laugh, smile, and make jokes much of the day. Many periods.
When years pass, it's difficult for me to remember exactly how I was on certain medications. Others I remember better. I know that when I was finally weaned off Lithium, I felt like a cloud lifted. That was maybe 6 years ago? A lot of water under the bridge since then. |
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bpcyclist, zapatoes
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bpcyclist
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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#4
I'm grateful to you for this post, bpcyclist.
I'm on Lamictal, Pristiq (AD), Klonopin, Cogentin, and the most recent one is Zyprexa. I was disturbed because I felt that Lamictal had dulled my personality to a degree. Not terribly, though. Enter Zyprexa. My mind is substantially quieter and the paranoia I was experiencing seems to be mostly gone. The intense, relentless anxiety/agitation is about half of what it was, which is very encouraging. And I have about 1/2 of my personality - the worst part of it is that I am an artist, and my ability to imagine, to create is completely flat. I'm especially sensitive to color and have always been fulfilled by my ability to create ecstatic colors. Well, now I sit there, looking at all the paint colors and it is all just...so what? Red is just red. There's blue mixed with lime green and, umm...yeah...I kinda forgot what I was doing and is it really important, anyway? Actually, I just want to sleep. The whole thing would be heartbreaking to me...if I could even feel heartbroken. All in all, I sure wish I had a great answer. Is Lamictal a possibility for you? Vrylar, maybe? __________________ |
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bpcyclist, zapatoes
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
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#5
I am sorry you are struggling with this, Beth. Yeah, maybe Lamictal would help, but I can't take it anymore due to side effects situation. Not sure about Vraylar--maybe I'll ask about it in my January visit.
I don't do art, but I do write fiction and I have a pretty good book that is finished, but I can't get it across the finish line because I don't seem to really care, even though it took me a year and is pretty good. No interest. No interest really in anything. I enjoy my bike and PC and not much else. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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*Beth*, CutegirlS
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
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#6
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Anyway. I truly understand - and it sucks to feel that blah feeling. __________________ |
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bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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Wise Elder
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#7
Yes. What you are experiencing can be related to the Lithium, quite commonly. Talk with yr doc about alternatives. Lithium can be a lifesaver but it has loads of potential side effects and requires close monitoring.
__________________ "...don't say Home / the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris |
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Poohbah
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#8
I have been writing some children’s historical fiction, picture book type. I should probably try lithium again, but I’m afraid I’ll be Too normal, LOL.
__________________ Bipolar 2 with anxious distress mixed states & rapid cycling under severe stress tegretol 200 mg wellbutrin 75 mg, cut in half or higher dose as needed Regular aerobic exercise SKILLSET/KNOWLEDGE BASE: Family Medical Advocate Masters in Library Science Multiple Subject Teaching Credential-15 yrs in public schools |
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catches the flowers
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#9
^^^^^ "Too normal" - exactly! I was thinking about exactly that yesterday. I went to have my nails done (polished). Usually it takes me a good fifteen minutes to choose the exact color I want. I see every tiny nuance of each color and it's so hard to decide.
Well, yesterday I chose a color in 3 minutes. So easy. I thought, "This must be how normal people think!" In one way, not being obsessively tangled up in options was a relief...then too, it felts like an essential part of my Self was absent. I'm thinking I'll give this (Zyprexa) 6 weeks, then see how I feel. __________________ |
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bpcyclist
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Legendary
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Location: Portland
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#10
Thanks, winter. That was sort of what I thought, but I started it so long ago that I cannot recall what we talked about. The problem is, I can't really do Tegretol or Depakote, because those make me a zombie. I just won't do it. And I wound up in the Emmanuel Hospital Burn Unit in 2010 because of SJS when I was on Lamictal. And yes, it was, in fact, biopsy-proven SJS--I was a board-certified dermatologist at the time. TMI, but LOL, really. So, options are a bit limited. I will look int o Vraylar and Latuda, though, just for kicks.
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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#11
After my father died almost 27 years ago, I foolishly went to my mother's psychiatrist (never go to a family member's Pdoc, lesson #1) who Px me Lithium for my grief. Can anyone say cruel irony?
Within a couple of weeks, Lithium was like one of those Death Eaters from the Harry Potter books/movies, in that it sucked my essence right out of me. I resembled the walking dead; I lost my sense of humor, well, all of my emotions disappeared, and the world appeared and felt grey to me all the time. I couldn't focus on the smallest task let alone drive myself anywhere, and I stopped the Lithium cold turkey about 4 months after I started it. Guess what happend after that - it destroyed my thyroid gland because my body went haywire after that. What disturbs me, is that my mother's Pdoc never diagnosed me as bipolar or anything to justify giving me Lithium. I was a dumb 21 year old taking something for grief, which I shouldn't have been. This is why I don't trust psychiatrists anymore. And I've tried various drugs over the years that I stopped because all they did was impair me with their side effects rather than address the so-called reason I was prescribed them in the first place. Anyway, yeah. Lithium is the Death Eater of humor. If you take it, you stop laughing. At everything. |
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bpcyclist, CutegirlS
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
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#12
Malpractice. Period.
Sorry you had to deal with all that, Blanche, but at least you figured it out ultimately. My problem, quite frankly, is that I am currently so freaking symptomatic, that stopping any of my meds makes me worry about my safety. We are more in teh adding meds mode than the d/c'ing meds mode, sadly. Still this makes me a bit sad, because people used to sort of tell me they thought I was funny and that seldom happens anymore. Everyone asks why I never laugh anymore. But you said I was funny--and that made my whole week!!! __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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#13
I deleted my previous response because it was too preachy (I really need to curb that habit). I wish I could help you with resources about medications and side effects, so that you don't have to constantly add medications which have their own side effects. I hope you can find your way back to yourself. I've read in other thread you mention that you have visions. We should talk about that as I grew up with those experiences myself and have a lot of stories. I may start a thread here to invite others to share their stories. Not sure anyone will but I will put it out there.
If art interests you, I found an art gallery in Portland run by an artist who has bipolar depression. |
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bpcyclist
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2015
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#14
I took lithium for years and never had that problem. However,l was taking a much lower dose. Lithium has saved many lives and I think you are right to proceed with caution bp. Would it be possible for your doctor to reduce the dosage?
__________________ Bipolar 2 with anxious distress mixed states & rapid cycling under severe stress tegretol 200 mg wellbutrin 75 mg, cut in half or higher dose as needed Regular aerobic exercise SKILLSET/KNOWLEDGE BASE: Family Medical Advocate Masters in Library Science Multiple Subject Teaching Credential-15 yrs in public schools |
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bpcyclist
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
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#15
Quote:
Okay. whatever you say. I have been to the Pepin Gallery with a group when I was IP. It is very cute and she is a nice woman. It's tiny. One of the PDX artists who shows there I personally know and had no earthly idea that, in addition to being a bpiolar advocate, she is a nationally known painter. Amazing people, you are!! __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
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#16
Right now, I kind of doubt it, given how symptomatic and unstable I have been and remain. But you are right, it is a pretty highish dose.
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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Bizi is bizi
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#17
Quote:
bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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bpcyclist
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
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#18
Have never considered it. Is it good?
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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