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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
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#21
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Thank you, that's good to keep in mind! I still have some vacation days left, sounds like it might be a good idea to take those after the ECT so I can minimize the risk of issues when I go back to work. |
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Napa Valley
Posts: 2,116
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#22
You might consider leaving yourself a note about getting on here as soon as possible after the initial series. Processing the experience explicitly seems to help some people recover memories of that time more quickly.
One moment I would hope you don't go through but might warn your spouse about: At some point in the early days, or so I've been told, I did not recognise my wife. I don't know how that all panned out but it upset her tremendously. So I haven't asked for details about it. Did I ask her who she was? Did everything just come to me? I don't know. I tell you this so that you can warn your family and avoid the fear and pain. Family relationships are important enough that they will come back even when other elements are lost to amnesia. __________________ >< |
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*Beth*
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
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#23
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Last edited by FluffyDinosaur; Sep 06, 2020 at 02:01 AM.. |
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
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#24
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My Pdoc has been checking around, and it looks like there are some good hospitals nearby where the duration of the IP is at least negotiable. They will probably agree to one/two weeks of IP and then let me go home depending on how I'm doing. He's going to give me a referral and then the hospital will have an intake with me to see if they'll let me go forward with ECT and to discuss the details. |
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*Beth*
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
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#25
@Daonnachd: Another question I forgot to ask earlier: do you find that the ECT gives you more energy? One of the worst symptoms for me is the fatigue. Combined with anhedonia it prevents me from doing almost anything. I spend all of my days pretty much just waiting for them to be over. Since it's a symptom of the depression I would think ECT should help with that, right?
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Napa Valley
Posts: 2,116
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#26
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I also feared not knowing my sons but that never occurred. Moving to a new house might pose some challenges. One of the side effects that has impacted me most severely is navigation. I used to be able to find my way naturally through a general sense of the cardinal directions. Now, in "monthly" maintenance I still can't recall directions, even in local, previously well-known towns. This has contributed to a certain degree of agoraphobia. In turn, I treat it all as simple facets of who I am now, attempting to accept the things I cannot change. __________________ >< |
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Napa Valley
Posts: 2,116
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#27
Quote:
While I've never been triggered (as I see it), I do find that the lethargy dissipates. In the last few days before my maintenance treatments I tend to sink into a mild depression. Your description of waiting for the day to be over is apt. After the ECT, though, I am back where we're supposed to be, engaged, ambitious, energetic in a normal capacity. __________________ >< |
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
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#28
Quote:
Thank you very much for all the insights! I'll make sure to keep it all in mind and make notes of it. Being engaged, ambitious, and energetic sounds like a dream, almost too good to be true! The prospect of that makes me hopeful for the first time in a very long while. |
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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#29
I am so, so pleased to see that the 2 of you have connected and bounced some concerns and tips around.
FluffyD, I have a suggestion. Months ago I started my own thread here on the BD board. I found it was the easiest way to keep track of my meds. (For some strange reason, a couple of people bucked up against me for having "my own" thread. There are a few of us around who do, and for some odd reason that annoys a couple of folks. When Doc John was questioned, however, he firmly okayed the "my thread" concept.) I'm fine with anybody commenting on my own thread, but I don't expect them to. I strongly suggest that you create your own thread about your pre-ECT, ECT, post-ECT experiences. As Dao pointed out, it does a world of good to follow your own progress. I didn't even realize how helpful it would be until I actually need to reference something. And I agree with you - write down your passwords. I feel excited for you! You might very well be someone who finds tremendous benefit through ECT. __________________ |
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Daonnachd
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Daonnachd
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Napa Valley
Posts: 2,116
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#30
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__________________ >< |
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*Beth*
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
4 31 hugs
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#31
Sorry for the late and brief reply, I've just been too tired to be on here much. But yes, I do think that sounds like a very good idea, thank you! I think maybe journaling will also help with the memories, and talking to my therapist about it. I'll bring that up with her next time I see her. I hope that you're right about the benefits. I'm kind of scared about it but also looking forward to it. I hope I can start sooner rather than later. I would do it tomorrow if I could.
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*Beth*, Daonnachd
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*Beth*
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Magnate
Member Since May 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
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#32
__________________ It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
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Daonnachd
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Napa Valley
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#33
@FluffyDinosaur
The memory holes are a curious thing. I've been getting ECT since 2015 and have some serious holes but have also had some interesting recoveries. For example, my wife and I were in conversation with another bicyclist when she (my wife) mentioned my having hit a dog on my bike. Now, my memory loss is a big stressor for her so I just acted like I remembered the experience, though I did not. However, the comment identified a hole for me and I began to obsess over the details I had lost. During our hour-long drive home, while my whole family was engaged with cell phones I was trying to recall anything I could about the dog accident. All of a sudden, I had a breakthrough. I could remember the dog running out in front of me, my reaction, and the conclusion. So I think given a bit of a framework we can rebuild some of the memories that by themselves are lost. All this to say don't be too nervous about memory loss. The brain is plastic and can surprise us by adapting when we don't expect it. __________________ >< |
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
4 31 hugs
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#34
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
4 31 hugs
given |
#35
Quote:
Yeah, I'm trying to imagine what it will be like but I'm not sure I can. It seems like a pretty bizarre experience. It's promising to know that it's possible to recover most memories. One thing I would be kind of afraid of is that I might develop false memories, where people suggest a past event to me and my mind just fills in the blanks, and I can't tell whether it's a real memory or not. Have you ever experienced anything like that and found out about it because your memories mismatched with someone else's? |
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Napa Valley
Posts: 2,116
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#36
False memories - I've never experienced that.
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FluffyDinosaur
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
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#37
The good news is I got a call from the hospital and I have a date for the admission interview. The bad news is it's nearly two months from now, and I have no idea how long after that until the actual treatment starts. Seems like an eternity.
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*Beth*, Daonnachd
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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#38
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Nearly 2 months!! I am thinking that there must be some way to expedite that. Does your psychiatrist know about the wait? __________________ |
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
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#39
Yeah, I'm panicking at the thought of having to wait for that long. I'm seeing my Pdoc this week and I'll ask him about it, but I don't know if there's anything he can do. I wish at least I knew how long after the interview the actual treatment will start. I believe the long wait is another consequence of that ******* covid-19. As if it hadn't wreaked enough havoc already.
Last edited by FluffyDinosaur; Sep 12, 2020 at 06:03 AM.. |
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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#40
Ohhh...I'll bet you're correct about covid. So frustrating! But I'm concerned about such a wait for you. Definitely worth telling your pdoc that you're sincerely afraid of the long wait.
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