Just diagnosed with bipolar

I am so excited to have found this website- last year, I was diagnosed with bipolar, I believe type I, the less severe of the two types. I was in denial for a really long time that I had bipolar, even though I was sort of releived to realize that it had probably been the source of my problems since childhood. I was 23 last year, when the really rapid cycling started, and usually was at work and ready to admit myself to the ER thinking I was having a nervous breakdown. When I am in this mode, I will do anything to stop the racing thoughts, including thinking about doing harm to myself or putting myself in danger. I am still struggling every day, working in a public service position with the WIC program and dealing with people in my face all day. I am married, and my husband has suffered for many years with severe panic disorder and agoraphobia. Now, we are at our wits end, each dealing with our problems of how to cope. Does anyone else have issues with significant others in their lives also having mental issues? I am on Lamictal, only 125 mg and Klonopin for sleep and anxiety, but I am not feeling normal yet. One minute I feel normal, the next I feel like it would be better if I was dead. Not sure how to cope, as I am receiving psychotherapy and am scared that the Lamictal may not be working. Perhaps I am not to a therapeutic dose yet? I would love to interact with other people dealing with those issues and to get your input on these things. Thank you for listening!

welcome. I just found this site myself a few weeks ago. Really don't know anyone yet. But have learned a lot of information. Hope you find what you need here. I'm bi too, 15 years now, and currently struggling thru my 2nd MAJOR episode. (first major 2+ yrs! - 16 months into this one) My spouse doesn't have a diagnosed problem, he's just given up drinking & that's throwing him for a loop (little bit of detox, shakes, sweats etc). poor sick boy. However, he's not a supportive person anyway - so it might be like having someone who has their own "diagnosed" problem. can you help someone else - when your own coping bucket is empty? Or maybe, at least it gives you some kind of relief that your SigOther at least has an understnding of what you are dealing with. Don't know HOW in the world you work with people in your face all the time - I can bearly make it left alone, and when I do have interaction - sometimes isn't pretty (which is why most just leave me alone). Take a pat on the back for being able to deal with people thru this. Rapid cycling sucks. Work on your meds! find the right ones & TAKE them, even when you feel you are doing better. I battled the take, don't take, take issue for years & just now, Thank you D.J. found websites that substantiated what I had always thought. (there is a reason you SHOULD take your medicine ALL the time)

welcome to this site both of ya. I have been diagnosed with bipolar 1. I was on lamictal but got the rash at 25 mg. You might not be at a dose that is right for you yet. It takes time to find the right dose. For me it was the right medication. So im on lithium (the classic) and thats been doing good. (hate the blood draws though). Well again lamictal takes awhile to take ahold. Be patient. You will find the right dose or drug. again welcome

Hey, Dragonflower. Welcome, from another newbie.

I was diagnosed just about 18 months ago, and I'm still trying to figure out the proper combination and dosage for my medication cocktail. Just this week, in fact, my psychiatrist cut two of my meds in half in an attempt to balance things out. There have been many drugs tried, many abandoned, but for all that, I'm still doing better than if I wasn't on anything at all. It may just take a while. Be strong.

Hi Dragonflower--

It sounds like you are off to a good start--things are so much more difficult when your main support has issues , too.

It sounds like the Lamictal isn't doing the trick by itself, though. I take Lamictal and lithium, which is still the gold standard in preventing and controlling mania. It has a largely undeserved bad reputation, though you do have to have regular blood tests, and it can make you feel kind of strange, especially when those rapid thoughts start slowing down! So stay with it, I think things will get better for you as your treatment progresses.

DJ

I am new here, but was diagnosed with Bipolar nearly 5 years ago. I was misdiagnosed initially with major depression and on meds for a long time (I think I tried everything under the sun, mostly to fix all the damage the anti-depressants I got while manic did!). I am glad to have finally stabilized (over a year ago now), and have been able to find a combination of diet, exercise and regimented sleep that allowed me to go off meds permanently (what one of us loves our meds, really?). I still make regular weekly visits to a psychiatrist to check on my status, but so far have been free of any episodes for three years.

If anyone new to bipolar has meds questions or non-meds questions, I'd be happy to discuss my experiences. )

I'm glad to have found this board! I was looking for non-doctor support without the weird feeling of a local "meeting" or group therapy session, and I finally found it!

I am also dating someone with bipolar on top of mine. We both have relatively mild symptoms, and we are coping ok!! I wish you luck with both of your problems. When I was first diagnosed..I was terrified, and along with this terror went denial. You sound like you don't have denial, which is a good sign. You found a community that cares deeply about its members. You write and express yourself well and that should be a help. I will be praying for you, for those times when the darker thoughts develop.

Hi,

I agree with the others that you have alot on your plate right now. As for the lamictal, 125mg is definitely not a therapeudic dose (200mg is the norm). Personally, I take 300mg, which allows me to cut down to only two other meds (Adderall and birth control) which I think helps because you're not dealing with the sometimes compromising and frustrating effects of mixing meds.

About your husband, in my experience it's REALLY hard to recover with someone who's also unstable around. What could possibly help is if your husband is commited to controlling his disorders, and/or is willing to attend a few session with your therapist (if you have one). Your therapist will/does have a good background on your difficulties, and might be able to offer constructive advice as to things that both of you could do to help eachother.

Good luck!

Jessie

Hello again,

Sorry, I've gotten so busy, it's been a while since I could post anything. Thank you all for reaching out and offering your support. It's sometimes encouraging just to know I am not alone, and my heart goes out to each one of you as well. Your kind words mean a lot to me. To address that last reply about getting dual therapy for my husband and I, it is something I know I would like to pursue. Right now, we're navigating trust issues, as I am not sure how committed he is to getting better, has had panic disorder for 13 years and is pretty set in his ways. Since the Paxil he takes controls it to some extent, I think he is content to live within the box he has been in all these years. For example, he doesn't travel, even to places 3 hours away due to intense panic attacks. This week is my birthday and we were planning to go to my parents house, about three hours away, but he has relapsed into anxiety and I don't think we will be going anywhere. This actually caused ME to have another episode, as I feel my family is a strong support to both of us and going places helps me to feel normal. I have just been feeling trapped, but last night he finally acknowledged how important his recovery is to me, not just for mine or his sake but for both of our families. For now, I just need to trust that he is committed, as he has started treatment. I just worry that he'll give up, as he has in the past. And he worries that my episodes will prevent me from being a support to him. It's a complex maze right now that feels endless, but I do hope it will end some day, b/c we are so young and I am not ready to give up. I think we will attend couples therapy, and I hope he finds a support group like this one. Anyway, I have babbled on and on for a while now, but I do thank you for all of your support and am glad to have found this site! Take care all of you, and I will be in touch soon

Although I have not been a visitor to this site for a long time, I used to be a regular and so will be bold and wish you welcome to this great place.

Somehow, the magnitude of the problem, when both halves of a partnership are having difficulties of any kind, is greater than the sum of its parts. I know this is making it even harder for you than it otherwise might be. But on the other hand, such a couple has the benefit of being able to turn to each other. My advice is to be as open with your partner as possible about anything that is bothering you. Try not to let it build up until it becomes a huge issue. I know this can be very difficult. I often have such a tendancy to avoid confrontation that somewhat minor problems turn into major issues for no other good reason.

If I may, I'd like to suggest something to you regarding your husband's anxiety disorder and treatment. I can relate to difficulties with sticking with any treatment. It means making regular trips outside and dealing with people you don't know very well on a frequent basis; these things have a nasty way of constantly reminding you of what you are seeking treatment for in the first place. In my case it makes me feel conspicuous, like everyone knows, thus heightening my anxiety. Of course, this is my own experience only. But I think that from that perspective, this behaviour in your husband my be a symptom of the illness as much as a lack of will to get better. In much the same way that you might wish your husband better understood some of the less attractive quirks of your illness, I ask that you consider this in the same light in order that you may find it easier to support him in continuing treatment. That's just my opinion, of course, so please, make of it what you see fit.

On the whole, I think you have a lot of good things to look forward to so take heart. You said you are both young so that gives you plenty of time to get things under control. I am 40 and was only diagnosed correctly a couple of years ago (and not at all a few years before that) and I still feel I have time to gain control and have some quality of life. I sincerely hope both of you are able to do the same. Coming through it together may even strengthen the bonds between you and make you richer for it. Let's hope. Good luck and take care.

Kerry