[Taylerkaeb]

I have been dealing with this for about 10 years I am now 26. Intially I was diagnosed with borderline now it is Bipolar. I am find though that medicines don't seem to help and I have tried more than a handful. I am looking for some copping skills to deal with the mindset I face day to day.

I'm feeling very strange, outside of myself. When will things become "normal" again. I'm feeling like I am disassociated with everything. I find myself outside of myself. I'm getting lost in the swirl of what's wrong with me. Maybe I am find and it's everyone else. Maybe I am truly what they say is wrong. I can't tell the difference anymore. I feel on a constant up and down that I will never find even ground. It's hard to be happy with yourself when you have no idea who you are. I'm not sure how I am to even Function. I feel that I am faking normality just to get along.

Sorry just a little insight into my mind. I just would like to know what helps others.

[Twigs92]

It's always hard to come to terms with a diagnosis, as people tell you that you are still the same person, but it leads you to question who you are anyway as you can't remember many times you were uninfluenced by moods. Could you get your pdoc to refer you to counselling to find coping mechanisms? Also if meds aren't working then keep trying, it's frustrating but it's all trial and error.

It might not be a bad idea to, as well as counselling, speak to close family members or friends if possible about how you're feeling. They might be able to help a little with the difficulties functioning. Just remember you aren't 'wrong', this illness is an illness and doesn't define you. While it might feel right now like you are unsure of how you are as the moods make everything so uncertain, the people around you know you and what you are really like. I know I'm probably not being helpful, but reach out and speak to those around you, hang out with them, and eventually you'll regain the sense of yourself separate from the moods. It does take time though. Sorry I don't know how helpful this is, but while being honest with people was difficult, it helped me.

[Taylerkaeb]

That does help. Unfortunately where I am going right now as far as there counselors are concerned don't accept my insurance. I'm trying to stay with the same people because seeing different people ended up getting me over medicated in the past. I'm just feeling alone in myself and unable to deep apart of "society"

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[BioAdoptMom3]

I agree with the need for good counseling. I cannot speak for myself, but it does seem to help my 14 y/o DD. Since the ones where you go now do not accept your insurance ask your pdoc for referral to someone who does. If after a few sessions you don't connect and feel like its the right person for you, try someone else. Therapists cannot prescribe meds, so you won't have to worry about different people suggesting different meds.

As for the meds I agree. Keep trying till you find the right combination!

Nancy

[BioAdoptMom3]

Oh, by the way, our DD was also diagnosed first with BPD traits!

Nancy

[BlackSheep79]

I know this will probably not uplift your mood right now, or maybe it will. I was diagnosed 7 years ago even though I know I have suffered from Bipolar for 20 years. I just now recently found a medicine that makes me feel "normal" if there is such a thing. I always wonder who am I really because the different moods are always taking over.Just like everyone else said you can't stop working with the meds, it can take a very long time to find the right combination and dosages may need to be altered from time to time. I also believe that therapy is good. I also suffer from OCD and the therapy for my OCD is helping me with my BP as well. Stay strong, you will go up and down with this illness but it only makes you stronger as a person, atleast that is the way I have learned to look at it over the years. And say this to yourself "this illness does not define who you are." I'm not saying that I don't say "why me" every now and then but we are all here to support you and answer your questions as best we can.

BP 1 mixed episodes/OCD

Lamictal 400mg
Haldol 4mg
Klonopin 1.5mg

[Taylerkaeb]

You guys are awesome. Thank-you so much. I don't have a support system outside of myself so this is a huge help. Having to try different meds all the time can get me down sometimes but I know I will eventually get there.

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[outlaw sammy]

Originally Posted by Taylerkaeb

I have been dealing with this for about 10 years I am now 26. . . . Sorry just a little insight into my mind. I just would like to know what helps others.

I noticed that you didn't list your meds. Be aware of the side-effects of your medications, because these can sometimes be confused with BP symptoms where they are not. Also, I agree with all the other responders, therapy can have great life changing results. Finally, consider this website and the members that post here as a valuable resource that you can tap into anytime.

[Taylerkaeb]

I actually haven't been on meds for about four years due to no insurance. So the meds I am on now were just started
Lexapro 20mg
Geodon 80mg
Ambien 10mg

I am definitely going to check in about a referral for therapy I know it'd help a ton

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[Taylerkaeb]

It's a long story from the transition from bpd to bp but I do believe I was misdiagnosed with the bpd and way over medicated

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