paranoia?

I am wondering what other people's experiences are with paranoia with bipolar disorder? Of all of the symptoms I have, this one is the worst but I can't find that much information about it in relation to bipolar. I had a psychiatrist who thought maybe I had schizoaffective disorder but I don't really feel like that's the case. Sometimes though I feel like stereotypical descriptions of bipolar disorder don't fit me. My paranoia usually is that people are talking about me or conspiring against me. I think that I can hear my neighbors talking about me through the walls and that my apartment or phone has been bugged. My brain makes these crazy connections to the things and people in my life and concocts these elaborate stories about how people are out to get me. Does anyone else experience this?

Paranoid delusions can be a symptom of mania. While I am not diagnosed with bipolar disorder, this is one of the two "components" of bipolar my doctors say I have.

I agree with you, of all the symptoms I personally experience, paranoia is the worst. Even if I tell myself I'm being paranoid, I don't know if I truly am being paranoid. It caused some major issues at my job for a while. I almost wrecked my relationship because of it. Thank god for my antipsychotic. It helps me determine, if I do feel paranoid, at least whether it's worth it to care about it (i.e. look for more "signs," which I have a talent for finding) or not. It's much easier to detach from. Before I went on the AP, it was terrible.

To name several: I get the people-plotting-against-me and talking-about-me-behind-my-back paranoia and used to even sometimes get afraid that other people could hear my thoughts (yes, that I was thinking "too loudly"). I especially hated that. Sometimes I still think I'm being followed. Sometimes I think my boyfriend's hacked into my computer and is monitoring everything I do. . . . And if the government has, I hope at least I'm a source of entertainment for them, because otherwise I've got nothing else to offer them.

Paranoia sucks, though. I really did think I was going schizo for a while. So, I feel you.

I hate the paranoia. It usually involves thinking that the neighbors are spying on me and/or the government is plotting to take away my freedoms. I tend to be suspicious of the government anyway, but paranoia just amplifies it. This usually happens when I'm full-blown manic, not during other kinds of mood states.

It's so funny to me now how my brain was able to create all these stories and connections that even sometimes when I explained them to other people, they seemed somewhat plausible. The last time I got paranoid when I went off my meds though it really snuck up on me. I thought I'd be able to see it coming but I didn't and it got out of control fast. I knew I had thought I heard people talking about me through the walls before, but THIS time, it was actually happening. The internet can be a bad place for people with paranoia. I thought my apartment was being bugged and researched what kind of bugging equipment was out there. I was convinced there were pinhole cameras and microphones in my walls. I took putty and covered up all the little holes I could find in my walls. I used to think that someone had hacked in to my cellphone and could listen to my conversations through it anywhere I was, even when I wasn't using it. I used to leave my phone in my glove box when I would go to therapy. I didn't want him to hear what I was saying. I got a new cellphone, SIM card and phone number because of it.

Now I look back on it all and I'm kind of amused, especially because I'm so stable now. It's hard to talk about it with other people, though...they don't really know what to say. Sometimes I feel like such a weirdo...I don't tell too many people that I have bipolar disorder. I think though that moods swings are still easier for other people to understand than paranoia. I don't tell hardly anyone about the paranoia.

I've definitely covered the camera lens on my laptop with black tape. Fairly recently. For several days. Had a moment (or a few). Was still on my med.

I think, with certain things, it's the brain's effed up way of "filling in the blanks," and sometimes it can sound very plausible. Whether it's some strange survival/defense mechanism against anxiety from the unknown, I don't know.

In my situation at work it was tough because on one hand I work with a girl who I'm convinced is borderline and/or narcissist and who I know was desperate to gain favor with our boss. I would talk to my therapist about it all the time. I felt like she and my boss were both against me, soon everyone would be against me . . . that was not the case, even if she did try to do things to make herself look better. But at the time, I felt like there were daggers pointed all around me. And I could almost sell it. Almost. It was a bad time. I hated going to work. I never felt safe. But my therapist went with it, for a while.

A lot of people don't understand paranoia. And there are degrees of it. There's the kind where you know you're being paranoid but can't shake it and it consumes you anyway. And there's the kind where you don't know you're being paranoid. Some people think it's mere "worry", that it's all felt in the head, but it's visceral. You can feel the strain of it through your whole body. It really does consume you.

I suppose I experience varying levels of paranoia always. I'm always generally suspicious of everyone(aside from the few people I am very close with. The rest of the world? I don't trust!) But there are definitely periods of time in which I become extra-paranoid. I worry in an extreme way about intruders and prowlers in the night, I suspect the guys working on the house across the street are plotting something against me or my house, I worry there are aliens stalking me in the shadows on my property, I have a vague, general paranoia that my communications are being monitored and even my movements tracked. It causes significant anxiety when it gets to that point, I worry about everything. I've been feeling paranoid lately, the other night a police car pulled someone over not far down my street. I was sitting in the house, in the dark, alone, and saw the flashing police lights light up my dining and kitchen area. I panicked, I was certain a SWAT team and/or the FBI was here for me. Why? I don't know, but I must've done something! I get that way when I'm hypomanic, when I'm depressed, and even when I'm feeling otherwise fine. So I can't say it's necessarily related to bipolar with me, though it is probably definitely aggravated by it.

See, I don't get the SWAT/FBI/Government thing too often. What are they gonna arrest me for? Pirating The Venture Bros? (Probably shouldn't even put that here). I'm more worried about some creepy stranger hacking into my computer and spying on me. Or my boyfriend.

I definitely have the Government/Pharmaceutical/FDA/Lobbying/etc. conspiracy thing though. The flu shot rally and the sudden illness everyone gets stricken with every year? I'm convinced Pharma concocts that in a lab, releases it into the "wild," then scares everyone into getting the flu shot. Could be for a number of reasons. But I won't get it unless, for some reason, I really, really have to. It just seems like a whole bunch of BS. Okay, before I start ranting...

I get paranoid about people close to me. Or about people I don't know who are around me. Sometimes about some random thing happening. Sometimes I worry about a home invasion, but not by a SWAT team (ever since I saw The Strangers, man. God, that movie...).

I've always been extremely paranoid, too. Years ago I experienced the fear of "thought broadcasting." Like what was previously mentioned on this thread, I was afraid I was thinking so loud that others could hear it. Fortunately, that has gotten better. But I still have lots of other paranoia symptoms.

When I was younger I had a similar fear. Not that I was broadcasting my thoughts, but that others were able to tune in to my head and hear what I was thinking, and/or that people could tap into my vision and see what I was seeing. Consequently I was constantly trying to avoid thinking "bad" thoughts, and would occasionally think "I know you're listening...stop it!", and never wanted to look at anything "bad" or look at a woman for too long, for example, lest people judge me. I didn't constantly think those things, but they weren't infrequent, either. I think those thoughts and ideas was getting more into delusion territory.

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There are basically two types of paranoia, delusional and typical. Typical paranoia is you may think or wonder if people are talking about you, or out to get you, possibly your phone is tapped, your being followed, your being watched, people are laughing at you. Delusional is a bit more. Delusional is your convinced people are out to get you, your being followed, etc. I was once convinced my whole family and all my friends were in on a conspiracy to kill me! It was frightening, because you really believe it, not just wonder, you know it's true! Extreme cases of paranoia are the FBI or Gov is trying to kill you. Delusional is a break from reality, you totally believe the illusion in your mind to be true. There is no wondering.

I have been convinced at times the radio was sending me messages from God to warn me of a immanent attack from satan (I'm agnostic usually). I could smell death and even hallucinate demons. Hear voices warning me and threatening me. Convinced everyone in the world was out to get me. Another big difference is if it's actually possible, it's not really delusional, it's more on the line of anxiety and worry and wonder. At least that's how it's been explained to me.