[lovelesssephiroth]

I am bipolar and would like to use this forum for support. I have never really accepted I have bipolar for 20 years and I thought it would be nice to meet other similar minded people. My problem as of late has been a mania that lasted close to 5 years due to medication changes and a car accident. The doctor found an agreeable drug finally. I can't believe I haven't been well for that long of a period. I don't know what to make of the psychosis, as it was my life for so long. Would anyone like to talk about their psychosis? I am newly better and hoping to chat more on the topic. Mine was due to extensive conspiracy theory and religious research. Its hard to ever forget it.

[Moreta]

Welcome to the forum. Bipolar swings can last a long time. I was in a mixed episode for 8 months and before that, depressed for 3 years. This is actually the first time I've been stable in 12 years. I hope you continue to get better. I understand what it's like to be psychotic, I've dealt with that too. If you ever want to chat, I'm in chat most of the day. We also have a bipolar support chat on Friday nights at 7 PM EST. You need to have 5 posts to enter chat. Just an FYI.

Things do get better.

[lovelesssephiroth]

Thanks for your support.

[CopperStar]

My psychosis also tends to be supernatural and government-conspiracy themed when it rears its ugly head.

I think it's because I grew up in a very hyper-religious environment that taught a lot of very whack things, and as a child it was all I knew, so it was "real" to me. I think it provided plenty of fodder for my subconscious mind during adulthood psychosis.

To this day I have to stay away from conspiracy theory videos. YouTube is loaded with videos that both tempt and terrify me at the same time. I find myself drawn to it all, but at the same time, I know it's so easy for me to get sucked in and start freaking out.

It probably doesn't help that several theories are plausible enough, you know how they take enough true content and then add in the theory crafting parts, so it's not like it's "totally crazy" to imagine it, especially given the darker side of human nature. I also have a very analytical mind, and the materials would usually provide plenty for me to mentally sort through, often staying up all night thinking on it.

I must admit that one thing I miss about some episodes, is the feeling of "knowing" and "understanding" everything, just that feeling, where everything clicks and makes sense, even if it was only subjective. Outside of psychosis I just feel lost and confused much of the time.

Hi lovelesssephiroth, welcome to PC!

Feel free to post here, there, and anywhere to feel a home. We all are like you in dealing with our condition day by day. I hope that we can support each other to survive this beast of a distder.

I found that just because my brain can't accept my condition, but the meds work, I might as well take the meds regardless of what I think.

Hope you get to feeling better.

[lovelesssephiroth]

Thanks for your support.

[Shadesofdark]

Welcome to PC.