[Curiosity77]

So the guy i've been dating for 2 months dumped me tonight. We are both bipolar, met when we were both hypomanic, and it was seriously amazing. Anyways, i caught herpes from my last partner, and i told this guy right in the beginning. He seemed totally fine with it. Now he wants out because he doesn't want to ruin his sexual reputation by having to tell people he's with me, and it's not consent if he doesn't tell people. We are in an open relationship, so it does matter, and it's a fairly small community of people in open relationships. I've told my family and friends about how great he is, and we've planned a vacation together next week, i even booked time off work. He says he loves me, but can't get over this, because even though he might have it, as long as he thinks he doesn't there is nothing to disclose. He has oral herpes (cold sores) anyway, which i don't have. He thinks he was less of jerk for trying it for a couple months, but i think this is worse, and he shouldn't have let me get attached. I actually thought we were in love. What a delusion. I'm feeling so alone, empty, despair. There is so much about me that i can't change - bipolar, herpes, a past addiction. I know i'm a good person, but finding someone cool who is willing to overlook all that just seems insurmountable. I just want to give up, want to disappear. I really can't see my life ever improving in any real or lasting way. I'm so humiliated. I am not going to hurt myself, but i really want to right now. I just want off this ****ed up ride. It's making me so sick.
Thx for reading

Originally Posted by Curiosity77

So the guy i've been dating for 2 months dumped me tonight. We are both bipolar, met when we were both hypomanic, and it was seriously amazing. Anyways, i caught herpes from my last partner, and i told this guy right in the beginning. He seemed totally fine with it. Now he wants out because he doesn't want to ruin his sexual reputation by having to tell people he's with me, and it's not consent if he doesn't tell people. We are in an open relationship, so it does matter, and it's a fairly small community of people in open relationships. I've told my family and friends about how great he is, and we've planned a vacation together next week, i even booked time off work. He says he loves me, but can't get over this, because even though he might have it, as long as he thinks he doesn't there is nothing to disclose. He has oral herpes (cold sores) anyway, which i don't have. He thinks he was less of jerk for trying it for a couple months, but i think this is worse, and he shouldn't have let me get attached. I actually thought we were in love. What a delusion. I'm feeling so alone, empty, despair. There is so much about me that i can't change - bipolar, herpes, a past addiction. I know i'm a good person, but finding someone cool who is willing to overlook all that just seems insurmountable. I just want to give up, want to disappear. I really can't see my life ever improving in any real or lasting way. I'm so humiliated. I am not going to hurt myself, but i really want to right now. I just want off this ****ed up ride. It's making me so sick.
Thx for reading

I'm out here and I hear you. It's hard sometimes. Really ****ing hard. I'm so sorry he did this. It wasn't cool. But don't give up. Don't give in. You will find someone to accept you. Ppl have way worse flaws and they're accepted. You will be too. Don't hurt yourself.

[Curiosity77]

Thank you for that answer Rose. I feel like I'm shouting out into some sort of evil void.

[Wander]

I am so sorry this has happened to you. Can't imagine how much this much hurt. He treated you unfairly and cruel. To be honest you are better off with out him. Sending you huge hugs.

[Unrigged64072835]

So sorry to hear about this. You're better off now. Hang in there.

Originally Posted by Curiosity77

Thank you for that answer Rose. I feel like I'm shouting out into some sort of evil void.

I used to feel that way too. I've been through a lot like you. Been rejected by men who told me they were in love and then turned it into no I'm not. But the sex was soooo good I stayed. And one was mentally and verbally abusive too. I understand feeling so humiliated. It's horrible. But you will find someone that deserves you. Just take some time to just heal.

So sorry this is happening to you. Hang in there! I agree with you, that it would have been better to not have a relationship at all than to have one where you were lured into developing feelings for this guy. He doesn't sound too realistic. Take it easy and time will do it's magic and it won't hurt so much.

[st0psign]

I've got the harpets too...

I'm so very sorry. That is really unfair and it would have been easier had he not even started something. You will find someone better. Someone kind and understanding. Just be glad you saw his true colors now instead of even later. It will take time for you to heal. Breakups are always hard but especially after what happened with you. Take care of yourself, go easy on yourself and don't let this guys opinion of you change you in the long run. Remember you are special and remember your worth. (((Hugs)))

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by Curiosity77

So the guy i've been dating for 2 months dumped me tonight. We are both bipolar, met when we were both hypomanic, and it was seriously amazing. Anyways, i caught herpes from my last partner, and i told this guy right in the beginning. He seemed totally fine with it. Now he wants out because he doesn't want to ruin his sexual reputation by having to tell people he's with me, and it's not consent if he doesn't tell people. We are in an open relationship, so it does matter, and it's a fairly small community of people in open relationships. I've told my family and friends about how great he is, and we've planned a vacation together next week, i even booked time off work. He says he loves me, but can't get over this, because even though he might have it, as long as he thinks he doesn't there is nothing to disclose. He has oral herpes (cold sores) anyway, which i don't have. He thinks he was less of jerk for trying it for a couple months, but i think this is worse, and he shouldn't have let me get attached. I actually thought we were in love. What a delusion. I'm feeling so alone, empty, despair. There is so much about me that i can't change - bipolar, herpes, a past addiction. I know i'm a good person, but finding someone cool who is willing to overlook all that just seems insurmountable. I just want to give up, want to disappear. I really can't see my life ever improving in any real or lasting way. I'm so humiliated. I am not going to hurt myself, but i really want to right now. I just want off this ****ed up ride. It's making me so sick.
Thx for reading

I'm sorry to hear that you were treated like that. Like everyone else said, you deserve better, and you will find someone who can accept you for who you are. The thing about dating someone for two months (especially when hypomanic): it can make you feel "high" on cloud 9, when really you are just getting to know the person. As human beings though, it's so easy to get caught up in the emotion (plus there's literally a chemical reaction we have when "in love" or during the honeymoon phase of a relationship). Please try to not be so hard on yourself. He's just one of many and doesn't sound good for you. It is painful, but these feelings will pass. As part of the healing process, hopefully you will get to focus on learning to be kind to yourself again and accept who you are, which will help you in future relationships.