Bipolar Questions Version 4

I like early spring, around the end of March through mid-to-late April. Though it tends to cause my allergies to flare, this is usually the time the bluebonnets (the state flower of Texas) along with a lot of Indian paintbrush (a red flower) bloom. We usually take a trip near the start of the Texas Hill country most often to Brehnam, TX and ending at the ruins of an old women's college in a state park in Indedepence, TX. If it's a good year, you start seeing a lot of flowers & bluebonnets along the roadside. They plant them in the Houston area too. If the year is good, I see them driving to & from the pdoc, just not as much as Brehnam or other small towns around it. Not to mention Brehnam has the Blue Bell Ice Cream factory, good for a bathroom break and a cheap scoop of your choice of open ice cream. I have yet to find a brand of vanilla ice cream that beats Blue Bell.

What was your favorite subject in school and why?

Statistics--I did really well in stats and found it fun

Are you a cat person or a dog person (or a reptile/bird/whatever person)?

Dogs and snakes. A few Kois too.

Do you wonder who created this, sometimes messy, world we live in?.

I used to be a cat person and tolerated dogs until I started taking care of my daughter’s beagle named Benji while she is a away at college. Both the cat and dog sleep with me every night and are with me all day when I am home. I am now proudly both a cat and a dog person.

Q. How well do you handle the winter months?

a lot better than I handle the summer.

I love winter and everything it stands for.

question:

did you have any episodes of mania/ depression before being diagnosed?

Yes, that is how I was diagnosed.

Q: Do you get any exercise?

Most days I just go for a walk around town or through the woods, but on days I can I go hiking, snowshoeing, canoeing/kayaking, mountain biking, or skiing. I want to try SUP some time. I have also been known to dance a lot.

What's your favorite band and favorite song by them?

I've always been a fan of the band U2, but I like many bands, mostly ones from the 1970s to 1990s. My favorite U2 song is "Where the Streets Have No Name". I also love classical music and jazz. Really, my favorite piece of music is Beethoven's 9th Symphony. Beethoven was beyond wonderful. I also particularly like some of the music of Leos Janacek, such as his series "On an Overgrown Path". That's one of the most beautiful pieces of music, in my opinion.

Describe something you experienced when euphoric hypomanic or manic.

On my way to IP I felt that I stopped time. I told my husband I needed some air so he stopped on the side of the highway. It was cold and late and windy. The stars were shining so brightly and the cold wind was whirling my hair around above me and it was just like this little piece of perfect space and time.

Eventually he got out of the car to make me get back in but it was amazing while it lasted. When those moments happen at night now I still get a lot joy out of them and stop to really take it in but dont feel like I have stopped time.

How hard was it to accept your diagnosis/have you?

I accepted the diagnosis readily as I was thrilled to finally have an answer that fitted my years of symptoms. On the other hand I still find severe episodes very hard to accept. They really confront me with the dark side of Bipolar, and scare me to be honest.

Have you ever had ‘friends’ reject your Bipolar diagnosis only to hit you with diagnosis’s that they think fits better?

Not my friends, per se, but my husband, yes. I actually don't have many friends unless you count H, my 2 sisters, my good friend from college living in the U.S. Northeast. My husband rejected all my diagnoses for years, even the time the pdoc decided I was bipolar type I and had me make an appointment for both H and me, so she could tell us about BPI, what to what expect as far as prognosis, how it is lifelong, that I'll likely always need meds, things he should watch for like lack of sleep that may be a precursor to mania.

He left, brushing her completely off on the car ride home.

However, around a year ago, he finally admitted to me, yes, he believes bipolar exists (he wouldn't even acknowledge that before) and yes, he believes I have bipolar I and the panic disorder and PTSD but he doesn't want to acknowledge the eating disorder. I suppose if I had anorexia, restricting type, it would be easy to see, but since mine is anorexia, purging type (and purging through exercise at that), he just sees a healthy person exercising to stay fit and help with stress. So I guess I'm almost there with him.

What is the first significant news story you remember hearing about or seeing on the news/TV?

I'm going to show my young age here; but the first truly significant new story I remember was 9/11. I was seven at the time and I just remember the TV's at school showing the coverage and teachers talking about how terrible it was.

Do you trust your mental health providers?

An emphatic yes!

Do you, or have you ever, played a musical instrument?

I don't now. As a kid I played piano, clarinet, contrabass clarinet, saxophone, trombone ,french horn, trumpet and xylophone. I was good at picking up instruments so I learned a new one every summer pretty much. I took flute lessons one summer but never officially played it.

Have you ever held something back from your therapist because it wasn't worth the difficulty of dealing with it?

Yes, I have!

Q: Do you remember 8 track tapes (as opposed to cassette tapes)?

Yes. One of our cars as a kid had them.

Do you think everything in your life is automatically therapy material?

Absolutely not!

With how many psychiatrists have you partnered?

One in grad school who died. I met his replacement once; she suggested I might be bipolar and I ran. One HORRIBLE one who thought healthcare professionals couldn't be bipolar (really, she said that) and another I saw once who threatened to call the police to pink slip me but I fought back and won. Several in the clinical trial I did. All those were in 5 years and I've seen my wonderful, amazing pdoc for 15 years now.

Do you ever hug your therapist or pdoc?

So far, only when we are terminating and at the very last appt.

Have you ever given a pdoc/therapist a gift?

I made my therapist a little vial of broken shells and added a note that said "thank you for helping me see beauty in what is broken" and then wrapped it up and shoved it at him awkwardly on my way out the door at Christmas. I made m pdoc a card when she had cancer that hung on her wall for a while.

Do you ever do phone sessions?