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Grand Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 796
5 3,607 hugs
given |
#521
Today was alright; I woke up a little bit depressed I haven't slept alone in a while. I know kitty was there but it just isn't the same as a man. I guess I got so used to him snore/wheezing in my ear. I didn't fall asleep much before 3am last night, and then I had to be up at 7. It was weird getting ready alone, I got so used to his alarm and my alarm going off that it's weird just having one. I ended up not wanting to eat breakfast at home and grabbing something on the way to work; along with coffee I didn't need.
Work was alright, I'm getting the hang of referrals but managing a practice is a whole different ballgame. My boss emailed me the credentials of all the medical staff, I felt like a stalker reading them. I know it's my job, but it just felt so weird. I guess this just proves I've got a little longer to go before I understand all it takes to manage a practice. The PA and I did lunch together, he's really good about talking my anxiety down a few notches. I have exactly a week before I see Cardiologist and I am massively terrified my brain keeps coming up with zebra diagnosis's. I decided to let him come along, I just don't want to be alone. I know realistically all he is going to do is probably order a laundry list of tests, but still my brain keeps coming up with anxiety to the situation. Currently waiting for my first of four therapy sessions this week; I'll let you all know how this goes. Hugs to everyone __________________ Generalized Anxiety Disorder Depression Symptoms of PTSD Trintellix 10mg once daily Buspar 10mg three times daily |
Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Tryingtobehappy5, Wild Coyote
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Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,899
6 78 hugs
given |
#522
Quote:
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, , propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, omeperazole I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --Robert Frost |
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Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,899
6 78 hugs
given |
#523
Quote:
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, , propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, omeperazole I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --Robert Frost |
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TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,899
6 78 hugs
given |
#524
Quote:
Are you not going to judo & choir because of being depressed? If so, can you motivate yourself to go to one session of either of those? It seemed like you were pretty happy when you were doing judo. I'm sorry about the tremor. Do you suspect a specific med? Wellbutrin gives me hand tremors (first go around on it was in grad school), but thankfully, they always stop shortly after I stop the med. I hope you start feeling better __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, , propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, omeperazole I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --Robert Frost |
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Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,470
(SuperPoster!)
16 2,546 hugs
given |
#525
Quote:
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
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Tryingtobehappy5, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given |
#526
Quote:
Things are going to feel weird for a while. Make new routines for yourself. Do things when and how YOU want. Grabbing breakfast out sounds wonderful ! I’m so glad your job is still going well, years ago I did your job, it was relatively low stress and I enjoyed it. I can tell you not to stress about your cardiologist appt all day long but ..... you are worried like anyone would be. I’ve done the whole zebra deal , makes matters worse when you work IN the medical field. Your appt will be here soon and then you can take a deep breath. Hang in there hun ! Keep posting getting it outta our heads really does help. __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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Innerzone, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,470
(SuperPoster!)
16 2,546 hugs
given |
#527
Quote:
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) Last edited by Moose72; Nov 12, 2018 at 06:38 PM.. |
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Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,899
6 78 hugs
given |
#528
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, , propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, omeperazole I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --Robert Frost |
Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,470
(SuperPoster!)
16 2,546 hugs
given |
#529
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#530
I'm getting sick of Clozaril. I would love to switch to another AP but I know I'm on Clozaril because other meds don't work. I want to try, but I know I'm just gonna wind up needing clozapine again and having to taper up, which is a pain because I'll need weekly blood work for another six months. I just wish something else worked. I am thankful it works, but I'm sick of going to the hospital and the pharmacy every week.
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Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Tryingtobehappy5, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,227
(SuperPoster!)
9 9,385 hugs
given |
#531
Spikes-
Hang in there. It gets better. At nearly 3 years in the lab and pharmacy trip (and every few months the mess the pharmacy makes of it) is so routine I can't remember not having to do this every month. The weekly days are a blur. I was lucky in that my pharmacy didn't understand the rules and gave me monthly supplies all along which helped but I did not get out of any labs. How much longer do you have weekly labs? Even biweekly will seem like a lot less bother; at least it did to me. I'm sitting here trying to remember weekly labs and I actually can't. My memory is pretty mushy around the first year on clozapine because I was so sick when I went on it and those labs and the frustration are just lost to time. Which is fine with me. It really does get better. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Grand Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 796
5 3,607 hugs
given |
#532
I honestly don't know how I am managing three a week; he decided to throw in a fourth session since he was afraid the breakup would send me into the Bipolar Black hole. Honestly therapy three times a week isn't that bad, I'm hoping that next week after three that I can convince him twice a week would be sufficient. I usually leave his office exhausted
__________________ Generalized Anxiety Disorder Depression Symptoms of PTSD Trintellix 10mg once daily Buspar 10mg three times daily |
Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Tryingtobehappy5, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,899
6 78 hugs
given |
#533
Quote:
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, , propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, omeperazole I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --Robert Frost |
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Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Grand Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 796
5 3,607 hugs
given |
#534
Quote:
It was McDonald's and it was surprisingly hot. I'm loving this job and you are right is it super low stress and I enjoy it a lot more than my last job. I did not know you formally worked in the medical industry that is super cool that you were doing the same job as me. I know i'm excessively worrying about it and it doesn't help at all that i'm in that field. I'm grateful for this PA keeping me in check. Thank you and you are right posting really helps, I honestly wish I would have found this place in April. __________________ Generalized Anxiety Disorder Depression Symptoms of PTSD Trintellix 10mg once daily Buspar 10mg three times daily |
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Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Tryingtobehappy5, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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Grand Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 796
5 3,607 hugs
given |
#535
Quote:
__________________ Generalized Anxiety Disorder Depression Symptoms of PTSD Trintellix 10mg once daily Buspar 10mg three times daily |
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Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Member
Member Since Oct 2016
Location: Florida USA
Posts: 365
7 56 hugs
given |
#536
Today I'm feeling better, thankfully. I quit smoking and I took a little nap earlier because I had a little bit of difficulty on trying to sleep. I'm glad I was able to take a nap though. Anytime I feel drained and not full of any energy, I always take a small nap and I don't sleep for long. Mostly a half hour or twenty-five minutes. When I wake up, I made sure I get myself something to eat and occupy myself with a hobby. The one thing that always makes me happy is music.
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Innerzone, Moose72, Nammu, Sunflower123, Tryingtobehappy5, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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Moose72, Wild Coyote
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Legendary
Community Liaison
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 12,735
(SuperPoster!)
7 70.9k hugs
given |
#537
Quote:
Congrats on quitting smoking! I love music, too! One of the decisions I have made in therapy is to have much more music playing around me, more often. It can make a big difference for me! I am setting up playlists this week. I hope you sleep well tonight! WC __________________ May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: US
Posts: 1,512
5 1,265 hugs
given |
#538
I am going to have to talk to my therapist/psychiatrist next time I see them about these intrusive thoughts as they are getting upsetting. Not sure if it's OCD or what, but something is going on.
In better news I got some work done today despite losing it for a few hours. Also trying to make some moves in my life to get involved in things outside of work. I need a social support network and some activities to distract myself with. |
BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Tryingtobehappy5, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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Wild Coyote
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Elder
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,433
11 9,557 hugs
given |
#539
Ok after all my whining about the one guy I now have two dates lined up ! I’m excited about the one but the other asked me out without even getting to know me first so I’m not sure about it. Definitely going to meet in public and give my sister in law my whereabouts. I mean I guess that’s how people used to do it before online dating right? Just randomly ask someone out? That’s what tv would have you believe anyway lol.
I don’t know if I can handle two guys at once. Obviously when the time comes I’ll have to tell one I’m not interested and I’ve never done that before. Unless he tells me first lol. Anyway. __________________ Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, Nammu, TheSeaCat, Tryingtobehappy5, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Grand Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 796
5 3,607 hugs
given |
#540
Quote:
__________________ Generalized Anxiety Disorder Depression Symptoms of PTSD Trintellix 10mg once daily Buspar 10mg three times daily |
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Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Closed Thread |
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