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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
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Jun 25, 2019 at 11:19 PM
#281
Met with my sponsor...she basically gave me a choice to either buy the big book and start reading it or find a new sponsor.
I don't want to read the big book.She figured out how controlling I am. She said you have to find some higher power to work the steps. After I left I was angry. I like her so don't want to lose her but can't do the big book. I am an atheist. I was going to say just f*** it and said that I was going to go to fat pats for a drink.screw it!....I drove over there and went in and then went to the bathroom. I said to myself. Just because I came here doesn't mean I have to stay and drink. I really want to lose weight and drinking beers I gain. So I left and came home. Success! I put on 50 pounds in 4 years drinking fattening beers. 2 people I know lost over 50 pounds doing the keto diet in 4 months time. Thank you for reading. truly a success tonight! bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Legendary
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Jun 26, 2019 at 07:01 AM
#282
CONGRATULATIONS BIZI!!!
 I have missed catching up with you here on this thread since I have been away. I am glad to read of your success!  Much Love ~ __________________ May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. 
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Wise Elder
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Jun 26, 2019 at 07:36 AM
#283
Yea, bizi!!
 That is great that you worked it through and didn't just react reflexively! Good job! I'm sorry about the big book issue. I thought this was a non-religious group(??) __________________ *********  Mr. Robot Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside. --The Cure
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
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Jun 26, 2019 at 07:51 AM
#284
The 12 step fellowships are all spiritual, not religious programs. You can read the literature substituting Higher Power or HP, or whatever word you want or phrases, wherever it says God.
It is difficult for atheists though I would encourage you to actually read the Book and take what you like and leave the rest. I have found help and healing in a related program called Emotions Anonymous, both in online and face to face meetings. It works if you work it. __________________ BP 1 with psychotic features 50 mg Lyrica 50 mcg Synthroid 2.5 mg olanzapine |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
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Jun 26, 2019 at 09:09 PM
#285
Ok, so last night I felt like she was giving me an ultimatum but tonight after the atheist AA meeting that she was there also. WE talked, and I guess she will allow another book. It is the womens 12 step that I just got in. I will work the steps and she agreed to continue seeing me. I like her. I believe I can learn from her. So 6pm on tuesdays is set.
bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Jun 26, 2019 at 10:32 PM
#286
Bizi you did great !!!!!! You took back the power!!
I’m glad your sponsor was more open to your choice in reading. __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,843
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Jun 28, 2019 at 07:11 AM
#287
Made it one week alcohol free (this time).
Am about finished with the "12 steps without God", book. I am writing these steps into the book of the woman's way to the 12 steps. Have not started the work book yet. I will bring this book when I meet with Carol again in a couple of weeks. There is not a lot of room to write the passages though. I wish I had post it notes! Have been Alcohol free on vacations before...this will be a challenge. Weighed 184.1 this morning. My goal is to lose weight! Will follow a low carb diet while there, except for my mothers birthday celebration weekend on the 6th. Leaving Monday, we will get into Indy late wednesday evening.. South Bend is a 2& 1/2 hour drive north. Think we should get there around noon on saturday unless mom wants help on friday that is. I don't want to stress her out. I will be bringing a chicken salad sandwich platter and beer. The open house is from 2-4 on saturday, then folks will come back to moms house for a light supper. 3 of 4 nieces and nephew will be there so that is great along with a few friends of mom from out of town. There should be around 35 people at the restaurant/open house, not sure how many will go to moms after words. She just found out about it yesterday, sis had sent her an invitation. Dad did not want her to worry too long so wanted to give this notice to her with about a 10 days to get ready.... He texted us that she is looking forward to the party! It will be a mini reunion. A couple of her friends are coming from the carolinas so this will be a big surprise! This year we will stay 2 nights in memphis. We are going to the civil rights museum and will take a tour at Graceland, Elvis's home. I have never been there before. This will be the first time spending 2 nights there. We have been making this trip twice a year for 18 years. For the past few yeras we have been going up to celebrate fathers day. But this year it is later because of the timing of her party. Started making a list of things to bring. In 3 days we leave. Monday we will be driving my car as it gets better gas mileage and more importantly I can't really drive Jeffs car. (it is a 6 speed and I can't put it into 6th gear). We will take turns driving my car. I have a couple of books to bring. The drive is about 7 hours each day, sometimes longer due to traffic. Will try to hit the road before 10 but that never happens. Usually on the interstate by 10:30am. Got up early this morning, had a difficult time sleeping. Somehow I hurt my neck. Was tossing and turning and just decided to get up. Have a hair appointment this morning for a color and a cut. Wonder who I will have because my regular stylist is out today. I frequent the beauty school for such services. Usually I can have the same student for a few months at a time. I get my hair colored monthly. I work tomorrow seeing the last clients before we leave. Need to take a shower and have plenty of time to do that. I won't wash my hair as they say it is better to go in with dirty hair...the color is better. Don't understand that but I try to follow their instructions. It is definitely dirty full of hair spray. Will post this and get into the shower. bizi Thanks for reading and have a good day! __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,843
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Jun 28, 2019 at 08:47 PM
#288
We lost power tonight for only 45 minutes but it was unknown when it happened how long it would be out..Jeff lit candles and we got out our table coleman lantern and did some paper work....need to do some billing to get caught up before we leave.
I have not been sleeping well and feel really anxious tonight, antzy can sit still legs are moving. Don't like this at all. I hope that my mood stays stable...though I think I am getting hypomanic. Hope I sleep tonight. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Jun 28, 2019 at 11:08 PM
#289
I hope the drive goes quickly and safely for you.
Sounds like you will have a wonderful time. Enjoy family while you can. We lost our power for about an hour yesterday had a nasty bunch of thunderstorms blow through. I was grateful it was evening time , the House didn’t have time to heat up like a oven. I’m roughly 3 hours or so from Memphis and have only gone twice and it was just to drop off and pick up my daughter from the airport. She made a trip to Germany while in college. Maybe one day my husband and I will take a few days and go. ‘s
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,843
18 43.8k hugs
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Jun 29, 2019 at 12:11 AM
#290
Quote:
Thank you for your well wishes! @~Christina bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,843
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Jun 30, 2019 at 10:17 AM
#291
I am not sleeping well, hard to get to sleep. Usually takes an hour or so. I need to get to bed earlier then I have been. My to do list is getting smaller.
I need to finish billing and charting and make a small deposit today....though it doesn't have to be done before we leave. I just would like to have it done. Like the laundry, I could have waited for that and done just one load, bras, panties and socks. Scrubs could have waited as we get back saturday. Have a whole day off before working again. So I planned this trip better for me this time. I feel less rushed. Weighed 183 this morning so down a couple of pounds which makes me happy. Today makes day 8 days Alcohol free. I have many books to read on our travels about giving up alcohol for good. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Legendary
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Jun 30, 2019 at 12:45 PM
#292
Hi!
 It always feels great to get things done! I hope you have a FUN vacation! Much Love~
__________________ May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
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Jun 30, 2019 at 01:41 PM
#293
Hope the books help. Have fun.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,843
18 43.8k hugs
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Jun 30, 2019 at 11:23 PM
#294
Thank you for the well wishes...
be back in 2 weeks. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,843
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Jul 13, 2019 at 11:34 PM
#295
WE are back from our vacation. drove into night thru the tropical storm winds..
bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
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Jul 13, 2019 at 11:37 PM
#296
Welcome home!
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,843
18 43.8k hugs
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Jul 14, 2019 at 11:20 AM
#297
hi there!
We made it home last night. All is well here...not sure of surrounding areas. tornadoes have been seen in areas around baton rouge, about an hour away from us. We took the vwery long way home to avoid Baton rouge last night so it was a couple of hours longer...took us 10 hours to get home. though an hour of that was stopping in alexandria for a nice italian dinner. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Grand Member
Member Since Jun 2019
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Jul 14, 2019 at 11:30 AM
#298
Glad you made it home safe. Stay safe.
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,843
18 43.8k hugs
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Jul 14, 2019 at 04:54 PM
#299
Mike's Weather Page... powered by Sparks Energy!
a link to a weather channel to monitor gulf weather. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Legendary
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Jul 14, 2019 at 04:57 PM
#300
Glad you made it home safe.
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