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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
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#1
I saw psyd today for our normal counseling session.
I cried. I couldn’t stop myself. I bawled the whole session. He’s never seen me cry except during emdr. We talked about all kinds of stuff. He asked if I’m having si. I admitted I am. He asked me why the tears and I admitted how empty and lonely I feel. Like no one wants me in their life. There’s a whole bunch more but basically he said he’s worried about me and can tell I’m out of Sorts. __________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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*Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, bpcyclist, downandlonely, Merlin, MickeyCheeky, Sometimes psychotic, Wild Coyote, wiretwister
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bpcyclist, downandlonely, MickeyCheeky, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
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#2
I am so sorry you're hurting so badly, @HALLIEBETH87! At least it seems like your Pdoc really does care about you. Am I correct? Please take WONDERFUL care of yourself as you deserve to feel better and to Live Well just as much as nyone else! PROMISE! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @HALLIEBETH87, your Family, your Friends, your Pdoc and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK, MY AWESOME, BEAUTIFUL, CARING, WISE, DEAR, KIND, SWEET, GENEROUS, GENTLE, SENSITIVE, SMART, RESOURCEFUL, AWESOME AND WONDERFUL FRIEND?!
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bpcyclist, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
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#3
I'm glad you were honest about your feelings. That's the best way to get help.
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bpcyclist, Wild Coyote
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*Beth*
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
given |
#4
I can’t stop crying today.
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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Anonymous41462, bpcyclist, Merlin, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
given |
#5
I
Told him About feeling bugs too But I think that’s getting better __________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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bpcyclist, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
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#6
Sometimes we just need to cry it all out time to be extra kind to your self
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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bpcyclist, Wild Coyote
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*Beth*, Wild Coyote
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
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#7
i cried for the first time in 7 years the other day. I think it just was all too much for me that day.
The illness situation you deal with regularly is extremely difficult. SI is a part of that--I have it too, all the damn time. There would be something wrong with you if you didn't cry sometimes. I wouldn't read too much into it. Stop judging yourself so harshly. You are a hero! What you fight? What you deal with? A damn hero!! My hero. You have a bunch of people here on PC who do care about you, to whom it does matter very much, in fact, how you are feeling and doing. Don't forget that. I have almost no friends (okay, I have two) and no contact with my family of origin and precious little with my 'partner' and kids. I guess I am radioactive or something. But I have you guys and that's what helps me make it through. Sending you self-compassion and strength and kindness to self. You will push through this. You will feel better. Maybe tomorrow after a bit f sleep. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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*Beth*, Wild Coyote
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*Beth*, Wild Coyote
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Legendary
Community Liaison
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 12,735
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#8
Hey Hallie,
Sorry you are having a challenging time. Crying can be a very good thing. It can be very cleansing , by releasing a lot of pent up emotions. Just allow yourself to cry and try to not judge it. I hope you can get to where you feel much more in control of your life. Please keep us updated! Much Love __________________ May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
given |
#9
Trigger. Warning
Thanks everyone for the replies. Please continue to send healing and positive vibes. I’m really REaLLY struggling with intrusive thoughts and urges to self harm. Right down to seeing it in my head. __________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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*Beth*, Pookyl, Victoria'smom
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
given |
#10
And I’m
Trying to fact check and use distress tolerance skills. I feel like the evil one is putting these thoughts into my head So I took some Valium a double Dose Hoping it will Help __________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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Victoria'smom
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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#11
Hi Halliebeth...I'm just sending some love vibes your way~**~*~*
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
given |
#12
I don’t remember
But apparently I emailed my t last night and he “strongly recommends” my going to hospital. I told him I would and he urged me not to wait but go now. My thoughts are getting darker and darker and I’ve had bad urges __________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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downandlonely, zapatoes
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downandlonely
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
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#13
Please listen to your T and go to the hospital. Stay safe @HALLIEBETH87
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zapatoes
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