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Smile Jan 15, 2019 at 09:47 PM
  #1
New year, new thread!

Had lunch with 2 of my lunch bunch friends. Which is always great to see them.
I told them of my Karen stories and they both told me to not deal with her any more. She has too many issues. I am kind of sad about it...I tried to help her and she did not want my help. She stopped going to sandras cafe for lunch so that is sad, and I had been eating lunch with her for a couple of months. I gave her a gift certificate to sandras for christmas and never heard from her. I won't call her like my friends told me. If she goes to sandras again I might say hi....Rejection is hard to take. I also hate confrontation. Bizi's new 2019 thread
Maybe I will never see her again....I don't know.

anyway today is day 2 AF.
I weighed 184 last night. 14 pounds heavier than before our vacation. Drinking fattening beers really bloated me. Bizi's new 2019 thread I think the scale will reflect that in this next week.
Had a slice of jeffs cinnamon bread/cake for breakfast with 2 cups of coffee.
Ate beef moussaka for lunch with a cup of turkish coffee.
Before dinner I had a slice of sharp cheddar cheese. For dinner Jeff cooked pork chops in coconut oil. and steamed broccoli.
After dinner, I snacked on 1/2 cup of mint chip gelato and one diet fudge pop and a handful of almonds. I drank sparkling water sweetened with toffee stevia.
I had a lot to eat today but did not drink any alcohol.
Hope I don't substitute food for alcohol. I really want to lose this weight and the only way that will happen is by eating less and moving more...so I will start going to the gym again and walking on the tred mill. I will go tomorrow. Bizi's new 2019 thread

I really need to take a shower tonight as I can't seem to get up earlier in the mornings now that I have been seeing 8:30 appointments. I set the alarm for 7:30 and roll out of bed.

Jeff is gone playing trivia with a friend and I was going to go to the gym tonight but changed my mind.

Have been reading this good book called the night circus. It is very good.
Jeff and I started watching LOST again. This will be our 4th or 5th time watching the entire series. We love it! It is something that we share doing together. We were watching 2 episodes of seinfeld but it moved to an hour later so that stopped.
So I am very happy we are watching LOST again!!!!!!
Thank you for reading this post.
bizi

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Default Jan 15, 2019 at 10:03 PM
  #2
Glad to see a new thread. I missed your posts.

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Default Jan 16, 2019 at 12:29 AM
  #3
I didn't see this earlier but I too am glad to see you posting again, was wondering what happened to you.

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Red face Jan 16, 2019 at 11:11 PM
  #4
This evening, I announced at 7:30 pm that I was going to an AA meeting.
Jeff said Why?
I said why do you think?
He yelled back "you are not an alcoholic".
I told him he was in denial.
and out the door I went.
It was held in the meeting room at a near by church. There were a lot of cars in the parking lot, people every where.
I wondered if they were having church services.
I filed in with everyone and sort of asked a young woman, Heidi, if this was the AA meeting and she said yes. She invited me to sit next to her.
Wow.
There were over 100 people, I counted them.
This was my 2nd meeting of AA. the first one was a couple of years ago at a different location...there were less than a dozen people and they made me speak.
I did not like that at all.
So this evening I could just sit and watch and listen.
It was very religious. The meeting lasted an hour and there was much discussion about praying and giving the power up to God.
For this I felt very uncomfortable. At the end of the meeting we all got up in a circle and holding hands prayed the "The Lords prayer".
I came home and told Jeff of the hundred people and he was just as surprised as I was.
How is that for avoiding the gym!

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Red face Jan 17, 2019 at 01:21 PM
  #5
I am not really interested in doing the 12 steps. I just wanted to feel a part of something greater than myself.
It was amazing to see that many normal looking people in the room, like me I suppose.
This affects all sorts of people yes there were some people there that were sketchy, a third of them were woman.
Alot of them court ordered perhaps due to run ins with the law.
I will try to sit by some one else next week when/if I go again.
Is it wrong to go and not want to do their 12 steps?
bizi

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Default Jan 17, 2019 at 02:26 PM
  #6
As I understand it the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. Different meetings have different environments, you might find a meeting less centered on the religious aspect. There's also all women groups. I can't recall the name off a all women group that addresses addictive behavior but it is much less religious and more cognitive. I found NA groups to be more open and less religious, I just clicked better with the folks there although I haven't abused drugs. I used to hang out a lot with people who did and my shrink wanted me to find sober people to hang out with and thought I should go to these groups to find friends. I went to the open meetings which anyone is welcome too not the closed meetings which is for those with addictions. I also went to NA because my ex husband was a drug user. The one thing they really helped me with was that I was powerless to change him. I could work only on me. I really recommend trying a bunch of different AA and NA groups until you find one that clicks for you.

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Default Jan 17, 2019 at 02:42 PM
  #7
The women's group is called, women for sobriety WFS there's another group called SMART which is more about self empowerment. These aren't 12 step groups you can usually find them around colleges and in bigger cities

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Smile Jan 17, 2019 at 08:39 PM
  #8
Thank you nammu!
I just registered with WFS. women for sobriety.
Am awaiting approval. They have a chat room that I am interested in.
It sounds really good.
Very much affirming....
I think that religion is not their basis.
We will see. Some cities have person to person meetings, we don't.
Maybe this will be the forum for me????
bizi

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Default Jan 17, 2019 at 09:45 PM
  #9
I hope it helps.

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Default Jan 17, 2019 at 09:52 PM
  #10
Good for you for going to an AA meeting. I have heard mixed things about them. The religious aspect might me a little uncomfortable too (although I do like the serenity prayer). I hope you can find a group that works for you.
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Smile Jan 18, 2019 at 11:24 PM
  #11
We used to go to a unitarian church/fellowship years ago.
Really liked it but it was so small and the elders there wanted different things( discussion group)...etc. We dropped out many years ago. The fellowship is still going on, new location.I think I may start to go there again. They meet at 1030am sunday morning.....That is usually the time that jeff and I go out to brunch. So I will have to consider that.
bizi

Thank you for your continued support!

You guys are great!
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Default Jan 19, 2019 at 12:49 PM
  #12
Hey bizi -- I'm glad Nammu had such helpful info. I know nothing. Hope you find a bunch you really click with! And of course, best of luck!

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Smile Jan 19, 2019 at 07:01 PM
  #13
Thank you innerzone!
Hope you are doing well!
((((HUGS))))
bizi

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Smile Jan 20, 2019 at 09:18 AM
  #14
I will go to the UU fellowship this morning. it is 34 Degrees out so will wear long underware and a heavy coat. Might pull out my parka, high to day of 49. It was so windy yesterday!!!! gusts upto 40 MPH. And it was raining the early part of the day.I was wearing a light rain coat and a sweater. burr. My blood has thinned and I hate cold temps. Living in the deep south we get humidity in the summers.Give me the heat. I got my raynauds in my fingers while reading in the bed the other night. We keep our house around 69 degrees.
I woke up this morning clear headed officially one week sober. Slept great!
Have a great day yall!
bizi

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Default Jan 20, 2019 at 01:49 PM
  #15
Congrats on the one week sober. Keep it up one day at a time.

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Smile Jan 20, 2019 at 03:34 PM
  #16
An awesome aspect to the WFS(women for sobriety) site is that they have a sub group for women who have mental health challenges too.
So It is the perfect forum for me since I am bipolar.
The whole site is huge and I could have easily gotten lost so am glad to find the smaller group.
Church this morning was disappointing.
It did not start at 10;30 like we thought...they have a coffee gathering then the services start at 11...it was a business meeting so we left after the brief service, before they started the business aspect. Every one was so friendly, saw a couple of folks that we knew from before.
Jeff the pres and arlene the membership committee leader. Both very nice...
She wanted to know why we left so many years ago. I told her it was personal.
I was not ready to tell her I got overly involved and became manic so had to drop out of everything to come back to some sanity. Just being there was the pull to belong. If jeff and I can get up earlier to have breakfast at the diner than I would go back. I am definitely looking to make more friends as I have few. And the UU's(unitarian universalist) is the closest religion that I do ascribe to.

I did not see my ex girl friend Susan who attends the UU fellowship. I was hoping to see her there. When we got home I texted her...she has not responded. She broke up with me when her hubby divorced her...Paul is my Hubbys best friend. She is the first person to ever call me an alcoholic, not to my face but to her daughter who mentioned it. I was horrifide!....I told her that I have a drinking problem. I was in denial back then. This past year I have tried moderation and that does not work for me. I can't drink just one.

Lunch consisted of 3 scrambled eggs with spinach and a side of more spinach and smoked sausage. Cut every thing up and made my own scrambler! I put some hot sauce on it and was delicious!
Jeff just had a bloody mary with an egg and some pickled okra as garnishes. I did not even miss the bloody mary.

Jeff just left to watch the new orleans Saints play football with the guys and left with guacamole and a big ribeye steak. I will have left overs for dinner tonight. Then we are going to a birthday party for one of jeffs best friends and colleagues. I am supposed to be dieting. I am bringing my orange flavored sparkling waters tonight.
There will be deserts there.
I will try to be careful and choose wisely what desert I will eat.
I love sweets and will allow myself some....I have to make this new life style work right?
Just need to be mindful.
Have a great sunday!
I hear cheers in the back ground outside so one of the neighbors must be watching the game!
I am doing a load of laundry, my uniforms for the week. Maybe I will go to the gym later and walk on the tred mill.
bizi

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Default Jan 20, 2019 at 04:29 PM
  #17
I'm so glad the WFS is working out for you. Decades ago when I was going to college I hung around with a woman who went to that group. She liked it cause it was inclusive and less religious than the AA groups.

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Smile Jan 20, 2019 at 07:09 PM
  #18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nammu View Post
I'm so glad the WFS is working out for you. Decades ago when I was going to college I hung around with a woman who went to that group. She liked it cause it was inclusive and less religious than the AA groups.
so there were face to face meetings?
I wish I had one here.

Am proud that I went to the gym and walked almost 3 miles on the tred mill.
Came home and ate eggplant/tomato mousaka which was delicious,
and had 1/2 cup of chicken salad.
finishing up a sparkling orange water with liquid stevia flavored sweetener, makes it taste like a dreamsicle. Yummy
Now am getting ready to go to a NAMI (national alliance of the mentally ill)
support group meeting.
Have not been in a year or so.
Hope to see some familiar faces.
bizi

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Default Jan 20, 2019 at 08:19 PM
  #19
Yeah they had face to face cause this was pre Internet way back there in the 70's. I met a couple of other women from her group and they were all very cool.

Your dinner sounds delicious I had heated up chili from a can.

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Smile Jan 20, 2019 at 09:29 PM
  #20
I was going to eat the left over chili but decided that I would not do that.

The NAMI support group was smaller than I remembered. There were about 10 of us there. I knew some of them from before when I went. Carolyn is the daughter of one of my clients who past away this last year. She is very nice and gave me her card/phone number. I will call her and, maybe have coffee some time. She doesn't have a car so there is that. The meetings had changed some more structure which is good, small enough that every one shared twice. We talked about self care.
They meet 2 x per month.I will keep going.


I texted my friend Susan, that I went to an AA meeting last week. She was happy for me.


bizi

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