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Old 01-15-2019, 08:47 PM #1
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New year, new thread!


Had lunch with 2 of my lunch bunch friends. Which is always great to see them.
I told them of my Karen stories and they both told me to not deal with her any more. She has too many issues. I am kind of sad about it...I tried to help her and she did not want my help. She stopped going to sandras cafe for lunch so that is sad, and I had been eating lunch with her for a couple of months. I gave her a gift certificate to sandras for christmas and never heard from her. I won't call her like my friends told me. If she goes to sandras again I might say hi....Rejection is hard to take. I also hate confrontation. Bizi's new 2019 thread
Maybe I will never see her again....I don't know.

anyway today is day 2 AF.
I weighed 184 last night. 14 pounds heavier than before our vacation. Drinking fattening beers really bloated me. Bizi's new 2019 thread I think the scale will reflect that in this next week.
Had a slice of jeffs cinnamon bread/cake for breakfast with 2 cups of coffee.
Ate beef moussaka for lunch with a cup of turkish coffee.
Before dinner I had a slice of sharp cheddar cheese. For dinner Jeff cooked pork chops in coconut oil. and steamed broccoli.
After dinner, I snacked on 1/2 cup of mint chip gelato and one diet fudge pop and a handful of almonds. I drank sparkling water sweetened with toffee stevia.
I had a lot to eat today but did not drink any alcohol.
Hope I don't substitute food for alcohol. I really want to lose this weight and the only way that will happen is by eating less and moving more...so I will start going to the gym again and walking on the tred mill. I will go tomorrow. Bizi's new 2019 thread

I really need to take a shower tonight as I can't seem to get up earlier in the mornings now that I have been seeing 8:30 appointments. I set the alarm for 7:30 and roll out of bed.

Jeff is gone playing trivia with a friend and I was going to go to the gym tonight but changed my mind.

Have been reading this good book called the night circus. It is very good.
Jeff and I started watching LOST again. This will be our 4th or 5th time watching the entire series. We love it! It is something that we share doing together. We were watching 2 episodes of seinfeld but it moved to an hour later so that stopped.
So I am very happy we are watching LOST again!!!!!!
Thank you for reading this post.
bizi
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Old 01-15-2019, 09:03 PM #2
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Default Re: Bizi's new 2019 thread

Glad to see a new thread. I missed your posts.
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Old 01-15-2019, 11:29 PM #3
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Default Re: Bizi's new 2019 thread

I didn't see this earlier but I too am glad to see you posting again, was wondering what happened to you.
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Old 01-16-2019, 10:11 PM #4
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This evening, I announced at 7:30 pm that I was going to an AA meeting.
Jeff said Why?
I said why do you think?
He yelled back "you are not an alcoholic".
I told him he was in denial.
and out the door I went.
It was held in the meeting room at a near by church. There were a lot of cars in the parking lot, people every where.
I wondered if they were having church services.
I filed in with everyone and sort of asked a young woman, Heidi, if this was the AA meeting and she said yes. She invited me to sit next to her.
Wow.
There were over 100 people, I counted them.
This was my 2nd meeting of AA. the first one was a couple of years ago at a different location...there were less than a dozen people and they made me speak.
I did not like that at all.
So this evening I could just sit and watch and listen.
It was very religious. The meeting lasted an hour and there was much discussion about praying and giving the power up to God.
For this I felt very uncomfortable. At the end of the meeting we all got up in a circle and holding hands prayed the "The Lords prayer".
I came home and told Jeff of the hundred people and he was just as surprised as I was.
How is that for avoiding the gym!

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Geodon 80mg twice a day
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klonipin .5 mg at night
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magnesium 1250mg, probiotic, turmeric twice a day,
vit d3 5,000units, calcium 300mg twice a day,
vit c 1000mg, fish oils 1000mg ,co-q10 100mg,
multi-vitamin and mineral, tarte cherry, boswallia.
12 pills at noon
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Old 01-17-2019, 12:21 PM #5
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I am not really interested in doing the 12 steps. I just wanted to feel a part of something greater than myself.
It was amazing to see that many normal looking people in the room, like me I suppose.
This affects all sorts of people yes there were some people there that were sketchy, a third of them were woman.
Alot of them court ordered perhaps due to run ins with the law.
I will try to sit by some one else next week when/if I go again.
Is it wrong to go and not want to do their 12 steps?
bizi
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vit d3 5,000units, calcium 300mg twice a day,
vit c 1000mg, fish oils 1000mg ,co-q10 100mg,
multi-vitamin and mineral, tarte cherry, boswallia.
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Old 01-17-2019, 01:26 PM #6
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Default Re: Bizi's new 2019 thread

As I understand it the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. Different meetings have different environments, you might find a meeting less centered on the religious aspect. There's also all women groups. I can't recall the name off a all women group that addresses addictive behavior but it is much less religious and more cognitive. I found NA groups to be more open and less religious, I just clicked better with the folks there although I haven't abused drugs. I used to hang out a lot with people who did and my shrink wanted me to find sober people to hang out with and thought I should go to these groups to find friends. I went to the open meetings which anyone is welcome too not the closed meetings which is for those with addictions. I also went to NA because my ex husband was a drug user. The one thing they really helped me with was that I was powerless to change him. I could work only on me. I really recommend trying a bunch of different AA and NA groups until you find one that clicks for you.
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Old 01-17-2019, 01:42 PM #7
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Default Re: Bizi's new 2019 thread

The women's group is called, women for sobriety WFS there's another group called SMART which is more about self empowerment. These aren't 12 step groups you can usually find them around colleges and in bigger cities
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Old 01-17-2019, 07:39 PM #8
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Thank you nammu!
I just registered with WFS. women for sobriety.
Am awaiting approval. They have a chat room that I am interested in.
It sounds really good.
Very much affirming....
I think that religion is not their basis.
We will see. Some cities have person to person meetings, we don't.
Maybe this will be the forum for me????
bizi
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Geodon 80mg twice a day
Lamictal 200mg twice a day
klonipin .5 mg at night
3mg of prolonged release melatonin at night
5mg zyprexa at night

magnesium 1250mg, probiotic, turmeric twice a day,
vit d3 5,000units, calcium 300mg twice a day,
vit c 1000mg, fish oils 1000mg ,co-q10 100mg,
multi-vitamin and mineral, tarte cherry, boswallia.
12 pills at noon
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Old 01-17-2019, 08:45 PM #9
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Default Re: Bizi's new 2019 thread

I hope it helps.
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Old 01-17-2019, 08:52 PM #10
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Default Re: Bizi's new 2019 thread

Good for you for going to an AA meeting. I have heard mixed things about them. The religious aspect might me a little uncomfortable too (although I do like the serenity prayer). I hope you can find a group that works for you.
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