[wildflowerchild25]

Well as I suspected I don’t qualify for fmla because I haven’t worked enough hours. I just have to hope that they like me enough to keep me around. I do however qualify for short term disability so I will be getting a percentage of my paycheck while I am out. That’s helpful. I have to make sure I keep my insurance though.

I feel terrible because I can’t make food for myself or my son. I can’t stand long enough to cook. I’m living off of string cheese and protein shakes and my son is making his own food. I feel terrible that I can’t provide for him. My mom said she would help
But I barely saw her all weekend. I wish I lived with RS. He would help me. I know he would be here every day if I asked him to but we both agreed it’s too soon for that kind of commitment ie living together. I just need someone to help me with my son. Maybe I’ll get those uncrustables pb sandwiches for him. And lunchables, he likes lunchables. My mom is off tomorrow she can take me shopping.

I hate this. I’m so independent and to not be able to do simple tasks like my laundry or cook is killing me. I hope surgery can fix this. I looked up success rates and apparently it’s around 90% for the type of surgery I need so I shouldn’t worry too much.

I’m supposed to bring the disability paperwork to the dr with me today but I can’t climb the stairs to the printer so I’ll have to bring it back tomorrow.

I feel for all of you who have debilitating chronic pain. This sucks and I’ve only been dealing with the disabling part of it for a week.

[Aurelius710]

I've been dreaming of various failures over the past few days and it's starting to get to me. For instance, I get flustered and can't handle my job or I get fired from another one. Another dream had me crashing my car after taking a corner too fast. Yet another had me failing out of school. All (in my mind) avoidable scenarios. Now, I'm not one to attach cosmic significance to my dreams but I firmly believe that dreams can be reflections of conscious thoughts and stressors.

Some days, I feel like I'm consumed by failure. Failure to achieve. Failure to maintain. Failure to be. How #@$% do you have to be to fail to be? In my rational brain, I know this is rumination and unhealthy, but in the back of my mind, when I've failed so, so much, I ask myself why this would be any different? Why any decision I make will end well?

Sorry to be melodramatic.

Brand new thread is here https://forums.psychcentral.com/bipo...ml#post6465213