Get sick->get treatment->get better->stop treatment->get sick
right now I want to stop my meds, this thought has been going on for a few days now. I know I shouldn't, but that just makes me want to do it more. I know I'll wind up unwell and need to either go IOP, PHP, hospitalization, or otherwise locked up, but I just want off my meds and I don't know how to fight that urge.

[eye2797]

Spikes, I too go through this. I feel if they are not working why take them. I just recently wanted to go off of then. After talking with Pdoc and therapist, They said the words I needed. That I know in the end what will happen. It is a tough fight for us. I rapid cycle and hate it. I am currently in mania. My brain and hands are not working together to type this-lol
Hang in there, you can get through it. I have yet to find a mix of meds that work enough to keep me stable. They do keep me inline enough most of the time.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, spikes I'm so sorry. Please don't give up. This must be very hard for you. I'm so sorry. I completely agree with what eye2792 has already wisely said better than I ever could. You've been given some great advice in this thread. I'd suggest to follow it if you can. I'd suggest to talk to your Pdoc about this and see how it goes from there. Hopefully he/she will be able to help you. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. I'd suggest to keep your meds if you can. They may help you feel more stable. That's just my opinion, though. The final decision is up to you. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. You deserve to get better and to feel good. You deserve to live a good life just like everyone else. Keep fighting. You're a warrior! You'll get through this. It won't be easy. It will take time. But it can be done! Please don't give up. You're a wonderful person. Stay strong, spikes. Stay safe and take care of yourself. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

[Under*Over]

Originally Posted by spikes

Get sick->get treatment->get better->stop treatment->get sick
right now I want to stop my meds, this thought has been going on for a few days now. I know I shouldn't, but that just makes me want to do it more. I know I'll wind up unwell and need to either go IOP, PHP, hospitalization, or otherwise locked up, but I just want off my meds and I don't know how to fight that urge.

I totally understand the feeling of wanting to stop- but try to remind yourself of how long it will take, how much energy and pain it will take, if you get sick again and have to work your way back up to where you are again.

Every time I stop my medication it takes me months to even get close to back where I was before. But... I still want to stop.

So you really really just have to keep in mind that one impulsive decision now... is going to probably lead to long term struggle. Its not worth it.

Talking to someone might help? Do you have a therapist or another healthcare provider or anyone else- a friend- who you might be able to share these feelings with? Someone who knows your situation and can be on your team to keep you healthy- be counted on to be there for you in the moments where you find these yhoughts the most challenging? That might really be helpful. Having someone there to create a buffer between you and the idea of stopping your medication.

Anyways. At the end of the day the choice is yours- but just remember how bad things can get. Its a painful memory but it might be necessary to prevent... more painful situations in the future- from happening.

Best of luck to you. Im sorry you are having these feelings. They are hard to deal with, they really are

[Pookyl]

I have found the secret that works for me. If I get treatment early enough I can prevent the urge to stop treatment. For example if I take my PRN’s as soon as I start to feel manic my common sense kicks in and I lose the urge to give up the meds. If I don’t take the right actions early I end up ip and extremely unwell.