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we are one
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: Ky , USA
Posts: 3,015
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Mar 02, 2019 at 09:26 PM
#1
a few days ago I got a perfect night sleep ... 8 hours with my cpap and awoke 2 minutes before my alarm ... just perfect ... first in a long time ...
why does it seem to be so boring ... my getting up 3 or 4 times a night ... is so my normal it feels right ... where the "right" ... is now my normal ... will the " normal " ever feel right again ... is there a " thing or activity " that seems so normal now that to go back to " normal " ... would seem wrong ... I find myself enjoying the rising each night ... maybe I am part vampire ... |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
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Mar 03, 2019 at 12:01 AM
#2
Hooray for getting 8 hours at one go ! You have struggled a long time for that treat. Hope it continues.
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Member
Member Since Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 443
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Mar 03, 2019 at 11:04 AM
#3
Main one would probably be dancing ALL THE TIME. I dont know why I just dont feel it much when Im not up or even down. I have been cleaning the last two days and only even listened to music for a couple of hours when I would have listened to it all day. I did try dancing but it only lasted for maybe 15min and I was over it even though it was somewhat enjoyable.
When I am down or mixed I express my sadness or hopelessness or anger through it and when I am up the euphoria makes it feel like heaven and I get obsessed with my shadow dancing at night especially outside. I feel vanilla and I dont like that anymore, I tried so hard to be it as a child to fit in and now I feel like I have discovered what its like to finally have freedom but I cant keep it. I want to be excited about life and even death. Either we will get used to it, maybe learn to love it or the effects of the change or somehow find a way back to the things we feel odd without while not sabatoging stability for it. Good luck 
__________________ Bipolar 1 Borderline Personality Disorder Alcohol Use Disorder Meds: Depakote Welbutrin Abilify I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted to lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty. How free it is, you have no idea how free. - Sylvia Plath |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given
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Mar 03, 2019 at 11:17 PM
#4
Did you get a repeat ?
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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