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clydeblack
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Heart Feb 26, 2019 at 02:12 PM
  #1
Hey guys, long time no see.

Do any of you not have a therapist or dislike seeing one? My Mom has a great one, but I'm having difficulty finding someone that doesn't annoy me. I just don't like sitting in a closed room talking about my problems. I usually walk out feeling bad because it reminds me of everything going wrong, even if I was in a good mood!

Anyway, what's your take on therapy?
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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 04:35 PM
  #2
i've seen 9 diffrent therapists- 8 of which were unhelpful and did absolutely nothing for me (granted, they tried their best, it just didn't work out)

I think part of the reason is my mother, she kept scaring them away and threatening them- but also i'm just beyond help (no, I generally think so)

one of my therapists did some cbt work with me which was pretty useful, but I've forgotten all the skills now- this was years ago before I even knew about the forum

embarrasingly enough, I used to tell my friend about the skills and get her to try them with me

so I should know them really

but I don't
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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 05:01 PM
  #3
I hate individual therapy, ok with group therapy pending on who is in the group
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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 05:18 PM
  #4
I never minded the therapy enviroment, but i could never find a good one and finally gave up. My pdoc gives me hard time about not having one but the last one he agreed was making situation worse.
Based on my experiences i pretty much see that profession now as quackery...
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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 06:31 PM
  #5
With the psychiatrists I've had these last 16 years (my current for almost 13 and counting), therapy was not optional. It was mandatory. However, I had terrible experiences with therapy for a little over half that time. Part of it were the therapists, part just me and my illness. It's a long story. Of the over 10 therapists I saw during that period, I only really benefited notably from four, and my current is looking like a positive relationship, too. I'm encouraged! Most that I liked had to end for reasons beyond my control (retirement, move, end of time at IOP). A couple eventually turned sour or ran their course. Some were downright awful (creepy, unqualified, eccentric in an uncomfortable way, just seemed to dislike me, or even fear me - during mania).

What I will say is that a good therapist is extremely valuable. I would not be as far along as I am now without my really good therapists. I need someone beyond a family member or friend, especially someone highly trained to help a person in my situation.
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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 06:43 PM
  #6
I kind of disliked going to two of my therapists. I felt awkward, even a bit annoyed while there. To be honest I went into therapy with my new therapist without much expectation. I do enjoy therapy now, though.

My current therapist puts me at ease, and it is the right balance for me of me talking and her leading the session with some ideas. It feels like I have someone on my team to help me, and she is very kind and friendly which works well for me. She uses a lot of evidence based methods (DBT, ACT etc) and integrates them for the individual which I also like.
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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 08:24 PM
  #7
I feel conflicted about it(though I feel that way about most things in life)

I have seen 3, and all 3 times it was forced on me. Once when I was a child and my life was very chaotic. Once as a teen after an attempt and now as an adult with my first episode having SI/HI two years ago. Every time, except the most recent, I have quit as soon as I was allowed.

I have never found it helpful, I enjoyed it at first as an adult because I have no friends to talk to but it slowly became tedious and I feel it is futile now. At this point I have stopped responding to my T and have not booked another appt. She wants to refer me to a more intensive program and I wish I could believe it would help but I mostly believe I am beyond help and am tired of wasting time on it.

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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 08:40 PM
  #8
Don't talk about your problems, or your perception thereof. Focus on functional recovery stuff. And get feedback as to what they are seeing, will help gain insight. A good T meets you where you are at, and helps you see where you are at. I don't think you can move forward without that.

I re-started about 5 months ago and has been very good for me. A couple sessions I was not stable and was essentially out of it, not really able to participate, but the more you go, the more they get to see where you are at. This is invaluable feedback.

I don't know anything about her other than she mentioned kids and spring break. I don't even know what she looks like to be honest, when she comes to get me out of waiting room I still am like 'oh, that's her'. This is ideal.

My previous T moved into admin position, and I was uncomfortable with starting with someone new. Big mistake and to my detriment. I went almost 2 years without one. Again, not good.

With that T, I was not ever well enough to benefit from it, and my insight was nill. With a capital N. She was good though, but I wasn't there yet. She was more of a support person, very caring and kind, and that was where I was at in that time. That can be OK too if that is where you are at.

Am thankful a friend that works at the office linked me to her, we are a good match and I know I would not be with the others. They are primarily 'family' and 'axis 2' (I use that term broadly) type counselors. That's not what I need.

She is fantastic and have made tremendous functional improvements with her help. Am hopeful will lead to psychosocial improvements, but I don't think those are possible with functional first so that is my focus right now.

It is a partnership. It should be time-limited I think. I did not really know what my goals were initially, it takes some time, but I do now. We do not have a timeline, yet.
I just know my insight and skills have improved significantly and am very thankful and grateful for her help.

The best manifestations I can report at this time are that I shower daily for about 2 months now, and have started cooking again. I have showered more and cooked more this calendar year than all of 2018. Maybe slight exageration but not by much. Those things did not happen immediately. THere are other things, but those have been the big two.

Again, they need to meet you where you are at, and you may not know where you are at. I did not. Once you do, problem solving skills can propel you forward. You likely have those already, but can't adequately access them (unintentionally).

We do not talk about problems, family, social, etc. (or very minimally I should say)

CBT for bipolar is not for that if the therapist is good. (imo). Again. functional recovery is the generalized goal. That will mean different things to different people. As will psychosocial recovery.

I think we often 'think' too much about the condition. It's not going away. Who cares? I think we are much better off finding ways to exist and live our best life in spite of symptoms etc. I'm crazy. My brain doesn't work like most people's. I don't care anymore about that. I do not feel 'less' than anymore.
I feel empowered, and embrace who I am, how my brain works. I can't have a different one, so why try to be 'normal'. It's not going to happen. I'm actually increasing fond of my brain, and to have a 'normal' one sounds pretty F'in boring.

I want as good of quality life as possible. A good T will help you guide your own way to that,

This is only my blunt non-filtered take on things, and I'm in a blunt, un-filtered type mood

I hope it might help along with other input from others.

Hang in there.

Last edited by piano97; Feb 26, 2019 at 09:32 PM..
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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 08:49 PM
  #9
Therapists isnt my thing. It's me against the world.
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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 09:31 PM
  #10
I have found individual therapy more hurtful than helpful. My doctor accepts this and doesn't pressure me to see a therapist.
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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 09:36 PM
  #11
Ya'll are seeing the wrong people LOL. Sorry. And I think may be making it more about 'them' than 'you'. And/or 'they' are doing that to you. It's your life. Take it by the ballz and run with it. If after a few sessions that is not happening, or doesn't seem to have potential for that to happen, yes, bail. And keep looking.

I'm blessed and thankful to live in a pretty good sized city, I can walk there if needed. Which is pretty great bc I don't always do well driving like I used to.

Not everyone has that, but find it to best of ability. If not possible, move. If not possible, I keep seeing all of this on-line therapy stuff. Seems kinda BS, but probably isn't completely. They put Michael Phelps picture on it. LOL. Take that for what it is. I think he's handsome but that's just me.

Don't give up. Hang in there.

Read my previous post again, start to finish. Promise there's a decent chance it will help. It's long. I'm maybe a little bit tiny hypomanic but go with it. Who cares. I took a shower today, cooked, left the house multiple times, and functioned within society. If that is not success, I dunno what is. Can I hold a job right now? No way in hell. Maybe someday. Can I be in 'dating' relationship right now? Unlikely. Maybe someday. Do I have a 'normal' life? No, lol. But who cares. I'm comfortable in my own skin. And working on a functional recovery, day by day. It will lead to those other things I mentioned, or at least it's a heck of a lot more likely. Don't look down on yourselves. You are wonderful and beautiful. This thread is about therapy. I don't think you should ever leave the room feeling 'bad' or 'worse'. Either they are not well-skilled and trained enough, or you are not in a place to do well with it. And if they are skilled and well trained, they can bring you into that space and place. I'm afraid to say it, but you are likely to be trapped on medications as a sole crutch without solid therapy. Medication is needed, but we largely are way over-medicated, and it's a band-aid. Some, yes. Cool. But there's a balance. Good T = helping you acheive that balance. The alternative is low QOL, and shorter lifespan from meds. I'll stop and not write anymore tonight lol. Take care of yourselves, don't give up, and hang in there. Last thing I'll say, is exercise daily. See it as medication, and these other things too. Oversimplifying...yes. But who cares. Live your best life, and meet yourself where you are. You are OK, and worthwhile, and were created just the way you were meant to be. Don't strive, nor compare. Just be you, crazy and all. Your brain may not work like others. But you are not others. U r U. Accept it and embrace it.

Last edited by piano97; Feb 26, 2019 at 10:00 PM..
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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 10:27 PM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by piano97 View Post
Ya'll are seeing the wrong people LOL. Sorry. And I think may be making it more about 'them' than 'you'. And/or 'they' are doing that to you. It's your life. Take it by the ballz and run with it. If after a few sessions that is not happening, or doesn't seem to have potential for that to happen, yes, bail. And keep looking.


I'm blessed and thankful to live in a pretty good sized city, I can walk there if needed. Which is pretty great bc I don't always do well driving like I used to.


Don't give up. Hang in there.


Read my previous post again, start to finish. Promise there's a decent chance it will help. It's long. I'm maybe a little bit tiny hypomanic but go with it. Who cares. I took a shower today, cooked, left the house multiple times, and functioned within society. If that is not success, I dunno what is. Can I hold a job right now? No way in hell. Maybe someday. Can I be in 'dating' relationship right now? Unlikely. Maybe someday. Do I have a 'normal' life? No, lol. But who cares. I'm comfortable in my own skin. And working on a functional recovery, day by day. It will lead to those other things I mentioned, or at least it's a heck of a lot more likely.
I'll elaborate about therapists from my point of view then. I find therapists counter productive because i don't like to waste my time on useless methods that doesn't provide me with any positive effects. Don't get me wrong I'm not bashing it or saying its useless because for some it is helpful. But what concerns me is therapists aren't promoting to their clients that people can have different views. Also there's no recovery from bipolar disorder so might as well see and experience all things I can. Possibly find something along the way that can make me happy. Its doubtful but I'm having one helluva ride on my way.

Dont give up as well and hang in there too,

Thanks
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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 11:39 PM
  #13
Joe....I'm also Joe.

I hear what u r saying. There are most certainly (a lot) of not good therapists. I can think of quite a few off the top of my head. I have worked in healthcare at times, so I have been around more, but regardless.

Any therapist like what u mentioned shouldn't be one....yet they are!! And I know some. They went into business for themselves, and don't see it...eeekkk. not good. I'm glad I have been able to link with the one I have now. I do not see it as a long term thing though.

There's no 'cure'....I don't want one anymore. I just want to be me. Working on figuring that out...hopefully it works out. As u said, just want to be happy, and enjoy the ride. Don't lose hope. Me either.

Take good care too, and thanks
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Default Feb 27, 2019 at 01:09 AM
  #14
My pdoc requires me to see a therapist. I always assumed that would be pretty standard but it sounds like it isn't. I think she wants a front line of defense so that if I start to go up or down it doesn't wait 4 weeks until I see her to get treatment. I'm getting better at seeking treatment really quickly but sometimes I need a nudge and sometimes my therapist needs to tell her how I am because I can't (too ill). She always asks about therapy when I see her and her visit is a therapy session as well as the ones with my therapist. So essentially I get a LOT of therapy so it's a good thing I like it most of the time.

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Default Feb 27, 2019 at 07:19 AM
  #15
Thank you so much for making this thread, clydeblack! Thank you so much everyone for taking part in it and share your experiences. You've all given some great advice in this thread. I'd suggest others to follow it if you can. Thank you all so much for your thoughtful and wise posts! Finding a good therapist is hard, but it can be done. However, you don't have to do therapy if you don't want you. If you've found something else that helps you, that's great! Everyone is different. I'm glad that there are so many resources available for so many people today. I'd suggest to look and find out what is the best option for you! Either way, remember to take car eof yourselves. That's the most important thing that you can do. It doesn't matter how. Just stay safe and take care of yourselves. I hope you'll all feel better soon. You all deserve to get better and to feel good. You all deserve to live a good life just like everyone else. Please don't give up. I know it's hard. Keep fighting. You're all wonderful people. You're all awesome! You're all strong! You're all warriors! Sending many hugs to everyone
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Default Feb 27, 2019 at 08:38 AM
  #16
I have mixed feelings about therapy. I started seeing a counselor for a few visits but I don’t plan to go long-term. She’s given me a good perspective to consider and the rest is up to me. I’ve worked in health care so long that I don’t entirely trust counselors anymore. I see things like caregiver burnout or judgement very quickly. I see when a person is not really tuning in or really just doesn’t care. I’m also very aware of how annoying it is when people are babbling and not really listening to their counselors because I deal with that all the time in my job... I can see that I’ve done some babbling and not truly listening to this counselor... I keep repeating myself then she keeps repeating her message. I plan to stop the babbling.. listen to her message... work on her suggestions which I know are logical... and move on.
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Default Feb 27, 2019 at 10:40 AM
  #17
Apart from quality of therapists and chemistry, an appropriate frequency of appointments is important to me. If it's just about stability on meds, I'd say once a month is probably enough. That's also much easier to fit in a work schedule. Or what's the help ot T sessions if they result in an insane amount of extra stress in life?
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Default Feb 27, 2019 at 10:49 AM
  #18
Therapy has been immensely helpful to me and I absolutely love going. It’s not a perfect relationship - we have our issues, but we talk them through and come out ok on the other side.

I’m trying to figure out why anyone would willingly go to therapy if they are not getting anything out of it. I won’t say if they’re not enjoying it, because therapy is not always to be enjoyed. It’s a lot of really hard work. But unless you’re court-ordered, why go if you don’t want to be there?
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Default Feb 27, 2019 at 02:47 PM
  #19
Quote:
Originally Posted by piggy momma View Post
Therapy has been immensely helpful to me and I absolutely love going. It’s not a perfect relationship - we have our issues, but we talk them through and come out ok on the other side.


I’m trying to figure out why anyone would willingly go to therapy if they are not getting anything out of it. I won’t say if they’re not enjoying it, because therapy is not always to be enjoyed. It’s a lot of really hard work. But unless you’re court-ordered, why go if you don’t want to be there?
I love therapy too, just not the type that includes therapists.

I'm happy it works for you.

Tonight I'm going to a bipolar support group with my best friend to meet others bipolar people. I'm looking forward to it as I've only done one support group with an old friend that was battling drug addiction.
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Default Mar 04, 2019 at 10:25 AM
  #20
Hey guys, thank you so much for all of your responses! I did not anticipate this much engagement and truly appreciate it.

I've been wanting to do DBT for a while. Unfortunately, I can't do group because I'm in school. That's also why I had to "break up" with my therapist, my schedule is crazy this year.

But, I'm looking into some type of DBT program/practitioner anyway. I REALLY hope I can find something. I've been in talk therapy for so long, and really need tools to use in everyday life. Luckily I am functional enough to do basic activities, so that's good.

Also, I am not a fan of the American medical system, especially in terms of medication. Now, I only let my doctor from my country prescribe it (have been seeing her since I first started medication), and she only gives me what is necessary. Therapy has always been the main factor in managing everyday moods.

I can feel myself slipping under a little bit, but then I go back up. Hopefully, I can find some sort of useful therapy before things get too dark. For now, I am still hopeful that there will finally be something life-changing out there. I bought a DBT handbook which I have yet to try. It has really good reviews! If it works I will share it with you guys.

To everyone who says they are untreatable, I completely understand. I knew someone close to me who had the same problem, and it didn't end well... However, part of me thinks there was something out there for them, and it was that they had made up their mind about the decision to end things because the doctors had decided to give up. I hope there is something out there for you so that you don't have to suffer the same consequences.

Anyway, I always enjoy reading your stories.
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