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Old 03-02-2019, 08:26 PM #1
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Default good times boring ...

a few days ago I got a perfect night sleep ... 8 hours with my cpap and awoke 2 minutes before my alarm ... just perfect ... first in a long time ...

why does it seem to be so boring ... my getting up 3 or 4 times a night ... is so my normal it feels right ... where the "right" ... is now my normal ... will the " normal " ever feel right again ...

is there a " thing or activity " that seems so normal now that to go back to " normal " ... would seem wrong ...


I find myself enjoying the rising each night ... maybe I am part vampire ...
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Old 03-02-2019, 11:01 PM #2
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Default Re: good times boring ...

Hooray for getting 8 hours at one go ! You have struggled a long time for that treat. Hope it continues.
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Old 03-03-2019, 10:04 AM #3
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Default Re: good times boring ...

Main one would probably be dancing ALL THE TIME. I dont know why I just dont feel it much when Im not up or even down. I have been cleaning the last two days and only even listened to music for a couple of hours when I would have listened to it all day. I did try dancing but it only lasted for maybe 15min and I was over it even though it was somewhat enjoyable.

When I am down or mixed I express my sadness or hopelessness or anger through it and when I am up the euphoria makes it feel like heaven and I get obsessed with my shadow dancing at night especially outside.

I feel vanilla and I dont like that anymore, I tried so hard to be it as a child to fit in and now I feel like I have discovered what its like to finally have freedom but I cant keep it. I want to be excited about life and even death.

Either we will get used to it, maybe learn to love it or the effects of the change or somehow find a way back to the things we feel odd without while not sabatoging stability for it. Good luck
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Old 03-03-2019, 10:17 PM #4
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Default Re: good times boring ...

Did you get a repeat ?
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