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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,198
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#1
I’m
Depressed. Not suicidal but not happy with my life at all. I hate it. I’ve called in to Work the last two days. I haven’t showered in two days til Just now. I sleep or lay in bed. I keep losing weight. I’m Down 13 lbs. down a size in shirts. I’m scared I’m gonna get fired. I have no more time off since I just missed so much for surgery. I just wanna hide in my bed. I don’t wanna leave. I don’t wanna eat. I just wanna sleep away time. __________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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Anonymous46341, Aurelius710, BeyondtheRainbow, BipolaRNurse, bizi, cashart10, Daonnachd, Innerzone, liveforsummer, MickeyCheeky, Nammu, raspberrytorte, rwwff, Skeezyks, skiguy18, TishaBuv, Travelinglady, Tryingtobehappy5, unaluna, Unrigged64072835, Victoria'smom, wildflowerchild25
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MickeyCheeky
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
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#2
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Anonymous41462, bizi, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,198
19 2,742 hugs
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#3
And if I lose my job I can pay all my bills. I’d be stressed all the time again but wtf I’m stressed all the time now
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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bizi, Merlin, MickeyCheeky, Nammu, unaluna, Victoria'smom
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
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#4
Get back into your regular schedule of working. You had 2 weeks off due to your surgery and didn’t have anything to but heal
And what we talked about last night..... things will improve with effort on your part Love ya __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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bizi, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2013
Location: KY
Posts: 3,667
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#5
I’m so sorry you’re going through this sweet friend. I hope you are able to make it to work. Be kind to yourself!
__________________ ***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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bizi, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,198
19 2,742 hugs
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#6
I’m going tk work in the am. It’s a half day and I see two clients. So hopefully staying busy will help. I see t after. And I see useless pdoc next week.
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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bizi, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,230
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#7
Sometimes anesthesia can trigger depression. The research I've seen is mostly about major surgery like cardiac bypass but there is nothing about someone prone to depression to begin with. When I was working we often saw patients need time to get that groggy tired feeling to go away completely whether or not they had depression. It's powerful stuff.
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: Home
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#8
Quote:
I’ve heard and witnessed that first hand from a family member. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,198
19 2,742 hugs
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#9
My therapist said that last week but it’s been three weeks now
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,230
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#10
I've seen it take longer. You just have to be patient. Get lots of rest, eat well and do the best you can at work. It will gradually improve.
Anesthesia can be really tricky for us. I had an exploratory laparoscopic surgery of my pelvis a while back and they were so careful to jump through all the MAOI hoops. I did great with those things and yet developed akathesia so bad I landed IP to stop it a month or 6 weeks out. Not saying you'll wind up IP, that had a bunch of factors (mainly the MAOI) at play, but just be gentle with yourself and it will improve. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
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#11
I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, HALLIEBETH87 I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. Just give it time. Try to go to work if you can. Just try to do your best. Eat well. Get plenty of rest. It's not easy to recover when you've just had a surgery. It will take time. It can take more time for some people compared to others. Don't worry. I'm sure you'll get through this. You're a kind, strong, sweet and wonderful person. Try to hang on. Remember that things won't stay like this forever. They can and will get better. Try to remember that when you're feeling down. I'm glad you're seeing a therapist. I hope things are going ok with him/her/ Just be honest with him/her. Remember that him/her is there to help you. Just try to do your best. That's all you can do after all. We're here for you if you need to talk about it. We all care about you here. We all love you here. Feel free to vent here as much as you need or want. You know we won't judge you here. I promise you that. You're a wonderful person. Please don't give up. Try to hang on. Stay strong, HALLIEBETH87. Stay safe and take care of yourself. You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm sos orry you have to deal with this
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bizi
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bizi
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,198
19 2,742 hugs
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#12
I’m grateful that I see t today. Im at work and took a shower today but I don’t
Much care About anything in the world. __________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,198
19 2,742 hugs
given |
#13
Why do I have to struggle so much? It seems I never get a ****ing break.
I’m feeling self Harm And suicidal Thoughts But no Plan. __________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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Member
Member Since Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 443
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#14
Just wanted to say I am thinking of you HALLIEBETH87
Im sorry you are feeling this way and hope seeing T is helpful today. Its good that you have no plan but I know those thoughts are so difficult to deal with. __________________ Bipolar 1 Borderline Personality Disorder Alcohol Use Disorder Meds: Depakote Welbutrin Abilify I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted to lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty. How free it is, you have no idea how free. - Sylvia Plath |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2010
Location: Under the noise floor
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#15
Sorry you’re feeling like this Hallie.
I tend to have the opposite effect, especially with opioids—I get really hyped, hardly sleep,etc. I do hope you do recover soon. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 48,043
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#16
Thinking about you. Things will get better.
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,198
19 2,742 hugs
given |
#17
It doesn’t feel like I’ll ever be
Stable for long. What’s the point of it then??? __________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,198
19 2,742 hugs
given |
#18
There’s been a squirrel outside my t’s office staring at me and probably taking tabs on me for someone
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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#19
HALLIEBETH87, I can relate to the feelings you are experiencing right now. I feel the exact same a lot of the times -- it's one thing after another, and then once that settles there's another... stress, anxiety, coping with my own emotions, pain, lack of energy, unhappiness... it's all a big mess.
I just wanted to say I hope you feel better soon. As easy as it is to want to give up, which I have at times, I encourage you to try to keep your head above water. I don't know much about your situation but I know right now you're struggling. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing you're not alone. |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,198
19 2,742 hugs
given |
#20
I saw t. I was hearing voices telling me to
Hurt myself in his office. He didn’t hear them and said it my mind playing tricks on me and the squirrel doesn’t think like that. Wtf is wrong with me __________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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