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Old 03-04-2019, 12:35 PM #1
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Trig Important question

Potential religious trigger:

So, I am asking this question here because I donít know how to ask it irl without sounding crazy. Is it possible that the Lord has you turn down your spouse to stay pure for him? I mean, not for intercourse but just so you are pure while in his presence like if he turns your shower water to holy water? I have believed this before but when I came down realized it to be a delusion but right now I donít even feel slightly manic so how is it a delusion? Maybe it wasnít a delusion before. Iím starting to question whether things I believed in the past really were delusions and not miracles. How can you ever really know for sure?
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Old 03-04-2019, 01:01 PM #2
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Default Re: Important question

I don't have a good answer. My religiosity, such as it is, tends to flair with psychosis so there isn't a distinction between miracles and delusions. I hope that makes sense.

I tend to stay away from contemplating a higher power because the whole subject is mildly destabilizing and has a tendency where my thoughts get totally out of hand. In fact I don't really understand how believers can really contain their psychosis if they are prone to this symptom, but that is probably due to a lack of imagination on my part. My illness can start up again from a little spark of psychotic thinking until it takes over my whole mental landscape. I've become even a little bit afraid of my own imagination.
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Old 03-04-2019, 01:37 PM #3
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Default Re: Important question

I get it and my faith nose dived after psychotic religiosity about 7 years ago but I find myself questioning it now. And, Iím afraid even to say something to my pdoc because since Iíve signed a release to my husband and mom, she can tell them what Iím thinking right? Or can she not? I just donít want to make a big deal out of nothing. And I donít think itís a big deal.
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Old 03-04-2019, 02:32 PM #4
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Default Re: Important question

Iím a little confused by your question. If youíre not turning your husband down for intercourse what are you turning him down for?
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Old 03-04-2019, 02:33 PM #5
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Default Re: Important question

Is your dx Schizoaffective Bipolar ?That's my diagnosis and you can have delusions without being manic or depressed with that. I recently was having religious delusions, I am a religious person but the stuff/beliefs I was going on about for a few weeks was not typical of me and I was also having other psychotic symptoms at the time too. I'm not saying that's what you are of course, everyone has different beliefs and I respect that, So I guess it can depend on some different factors. Is it a belief you've had for a long time in your life that's always been there even when completely stable? Have you had psychosis symptoms while not manic, etc

Can your doctor provide any insight on it? Maybe they would be able to tell whether it's related to delusional thinking or not if they know you well

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Old 03-04-2019, 02:48 PM #6
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Default Re: Important question

Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnyvibes View Post
Iím a little confused by your question. If youíre not turning your husband down for intercourse what are you turning him down for?
Turning my husband down for intercourse so that I will be pure in the Lordís presence.
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Old 03-04-2019, 03:01 PM #7
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Default Re: Important question

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Is your dx Schizoaffective Bipolar ?That's my diagnosis and you can have delusions without being manic or depressed with that. I recently was having religious delusions, I am a religious person but the stuff/beliefs I was going on about for a few weeks was not typical of me and I was also having other psychotic symptoms at the time too. I'm not saying that's what you are of course, everyone has different beliefs and I respect that, So I guess it can depend on some different factors. Is it a belief you've had for a long time in your life that's always been there even when completely stable? Have you had psychosis symptoms while not manic, etc

Can your doctor provide any insight on it? Maybe they would be able to tell whether it's related to delusional thinking or not if they know you well

Iím not really sure of my diagnosis. My previous pdoc diagnosed me with schizoeffective disorder but Iím not sure that is what my current diagnosis is. I think it is bp1 with psychotic features. I havenít had anything other than very mild psychotic symptoms in a very long time but no, this isnt something I would typically believe. That gives me an inclination to mention it to my pdoc but at the same time I feel like just because Iíve never believed it doesnít mean itís not true.
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I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
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Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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Old 03-04-2019, 03:05 PM #8
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Old 03-04-2019, 03:08 PM #9
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Default Re: Important question

Do you think they will make a big deal of it if it is the case? I am sleeping fine and currently in IOP and I donít think Iím acting crazy. But I know my husband and momís tendency to overreact to certain symptoms. Will my pdoc be able to tell them if she thinks I am becoming psychotic?
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I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

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Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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Old 03-04-2019, 03:34 PM #10
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Default Re: Important question

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, cashart10 I'm not sure how would they react since I don't really know them very well. But since you think they may react badly, perhaps it's best to avoid it at the moment. That's just my opinion though. The final decision is up to you. I don't know for sure how they will react. Perhaps they'll be able to help you. You know them better than me so I'd suggest to think about it and take your own decision if you can. Most importantly, I'd encourage you to talk to your Pdoc about this and see how it goes from there. Perhaps you could ask him not to disclose anything to your husband and mom if that's what you're worried about. I'm not sure how it works, but I believe your privacy is the priority there. They can't tell anything to other people unless you explicitly allow them to. I'm not sure about it though. I'd suggest to ask your Pdoc for more details. Hopefully he will listen to you and understand you. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. It must be hard for you to feel like this. I'm so sorry. Please don't give up. You're a wonderful person. Stay strong, cashart10. Stay safe and take care of yourself. You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! Try to hang on. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all fo this
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