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Default Mar 09, 2019 at 11:27 AM
  #41
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Originally Posted by bluebicycle View Post
No, I did not. I'm saving that for our in-person conversation. I want to figure out her (hidden) motives.

I did not find any cameras in my car yesterday, so I'm happy about that. (I spent a good half hour looking through every inch of my car, feeling the floors etc in case there were cameras attached.) However, that has nothing to do with the hidden cameras at work. They're hidden in the tiled ceiling and well, (1.) I can't reach the ceiling even on a chair because the ceilings must be at least 20ft high, and (2.) even if I could, people would be staring at me because they wouldn't understand.

The supernatural force has still been on my back, though, radiating energy. Even when I lie down in my bed or recline in my recliner, I can still feel it. It's there. Taking a shower last night helped so that I could go to sleep, but now it's back and it's bothering me again. I was panicking all night up until I took that shower at like 11pm.
Hi Blue,

I think I am not the only person on here who would say you are having psychotic symptoms and is worried about you.

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Default Mar 09, 2019 at 02:21 PM
  #42
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Hi Blue,

I think I am not the only person on here who would say you are having psychotic symptoms and is worried about you.
Agreed. I'm just catching up here, and am VERY worried for you, blue. These thoughts and actions are not rational. I realize it is futile to try to convince you of this at such a time, but I cannot help but say it. As has been pointed out, we are here for you. Much, much

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Unhappy Mar 09, 2019 at 02:30 PM
  #43
I will repeat myself.
I AM VERY WORRIED about you blue.
This is all psychosis that you are talking about.
You need the AP....before you hurt yourself or somebody else.
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Default Mar 09, 2019 at 03:18 PM
  #44
I am also very worried about you, as I mentioned before. I am glad you will talk to your therapist at least, but you might need to see her sooner than later. Please be honest with her about what you are thinking and what is going on. I have been feeling frightened of some people lately, although not to the degree you are describing. It is really hard to see through, so I do not blame you for not being able to trust people right now. I just wish there was some way we could convince you to get the help you need before this gets out of hand.
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Default Mar 09, 2019 at 11:35 PM
  #45
How are you feeling ?

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Default Mar 10, 2019 at 06:40 PM
  #46
I think I’m doing okay right now. Had a very boring day. Watched YouTube for the better part of the day and read some news. The supernatural force isn’t here right now. It’s been absent most of the day... so I’m pretty calm and relaxed.

I think I’m safe. I’m going to work tomorrow morning around 5:30am again.

I don’t see the need for an AP, as I think it’s the wrong med. Plus, it kills my personality.
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Default Mar 10, 2019 at 08:26 PM
  #47
Hi Blue,

Glad to hear you are getting a little break from the supernatural force and feel safe. That is so important.

Does the supernatural force make you feel unsafe?
Do you think the supernatural force is real?

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Default Mar 11, 2019 at 10:04 AM
  #48
Yes, the supernatural force makes me feel unsafe, as it likes to follow me and taunt me. It is definitely real. It hasn’t bothered me at all today, though. I don’t know where it went.
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Default Mar 11, 2019 at 01:08 PM
  #49
What if the supernatural force that makes you feel unsafe is not real but is a delusion? How do you determine what is real?

Do you still think your therapist and pdoc have hidden cameras to make sure you take your Rexulti because they want to control you?

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Default Mar 12, 2019 at 05:17 AM
  #50
It is real because I can feel its energy on my back.

As for the cameras: well, they’re definitely not in my car because I checked all of that, but I’m still wondering about work. I’ve been hiding in an enclave (meeting room) at work lately and doing work there, where I have assessed that there are NO cameras.

I don’t think they can do anything, though. I mean, what are they gonna do besides watch me? They can’t make me take it. NO ONE can.
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Default Mar 12, 2019 at 09:07 AM
  #51
It's true that no one can make you take medication, even if they are watching you through hidden cameras. It's good you found a place to work that you have assessed is private. How did you do that?

I hated the feeling I was always being watched but in my case the hidden cameras were in my home too.

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Default Mar 14, 2019 at 05:13 AM
  #52
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It's true that no one can make you take medication, even if they are watching you through hidden cameras. It's good you found a place to work that you have assessed is private. How did you do that?

I hated the feeling I was always being watched but in my case the hidden cameras were in my home too.
I looked all around the room (it’s tiny) and looked under the chairs to see there were no cameras.

I saw my therapist yesterday. I told her I “felt weird” because everything looked different from what I remembered and I was living in an alternate universe. Then we talked about the hidden cameras. She said she would do no such thing and that I was being paranoid, and that she would never force me to take any of my meds.
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Default Mar 17, 2019 at 08:33 AM
  #53
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Originally Posted by bluebicycle View Post
I looked all around the room (it’s tiny) and looked under the chairs to see there were no cameras.

I saw my therapist yesterday. I told her I “felt weird” because everything looked different from what I remembered and I was living in an alternate universe. Then we talked about the hidden cameras. She said she would do no such thing and that I was being paranoid, and that she would never force me to take any of my meds.

Do you still believe your T is spying on you with your pdoc through hidden cameras?

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Default Mar 18, 2019 at 12:52 AM
  #54
Blue ? How are you ?

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Default Mar 18, 2019 at 08:17 AM
  #55
No, I don't think she's spying on me anymore, but she was. I think our conversation during the most recent session made her realize that I caught her red handed with the cameras.

Someone is trying to terrorize me, though. I hear lots of *POP* sounds and voices. I don't think it's the supernatural force again, though. I think it's something else--I just don't know what.

Otherwise, I'm doing ok. Been pacing around a lot--although I managed to get a shitload of stuff done at work. Worked all weekend and made amazing progress. Everyone will love me for it at work and think I'm the greatest.
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Default Mar 18, 2019 at 09:30 AM
  #56
That's great to hear you are doing so well at work and making amazing progress.

I used to also hear sounds like pops and bangs and clicks but no voices and also thought someone was trying to terrorize me. That was a few years ago and I am so glad that hasn't come back.

I don't understand why you would continue to see your therapist if you think she was spying on you with hidden cameras. How can you trust her?

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Default Mar 18, 2019 at 10:12 PM
  #57
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No, I don't think she's spying on me anymore, but she was. I think our conversation during the most recent session made her realize that I caught her red handed with the cameras.


Someone is trying to terrorize me, though. I hear lots of *POP* sounds and voices. I don't think it's the supernatural force again, though. I think it's something else--I just don't know what.


Otherwise, I'm doing ok. Been pacing around a lot--although I managed to get a shitload of stuff done at work. Worked all weekend and made amazing progress. Everyone will love me for it at work and think I'm the greatest.


Thanks for checking in , I was worried for you

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