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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
~Christina
has no updates.
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12.7k hugs
given |
#201
Quote:
I feel your pain. I just ranted over it. Hope you have a great party !!!! __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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bizi, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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cashart10
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Grand Member
TheSeaCat
is in love
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 796
3,607 hugs
given |
#202
Hello everyone; I hope everyone is doing well. I am doing fine after spending most of the evening with my darling nieces helping get a few girl scout badges; not to mention my Aunt pointed out that the kiddos were missing me since I spend a lot of my time either at work or at M's place here lately. So after work I picked up dinner and M and I helped the girls with Girl Scouts and the fun thing known as homework; besides the girls really missed me and were all on me Sunday for our families Irish Celebration.
Work was good today; got a lot of stuff done today plus it's always nice having new people in the office; on the plus side it seems to be working out which always a good thing. It was really nice hanging out with the girls tonight; it was a much needed distraction. Also I guess my heart is doing better because I was able to donate blood for the first time in a very long time; my numbers were fantastic; I was so shocked that after years of my heart rate being scary high and always disqualifying me for giving that it was perfectly normal at 89. Hugs to everyone __________________ Generalized Anxiety Disorder Depression Symptoms of PTSD Trintellix 10mg once daily Buspar 10mg three times daily |
Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, bizi, cashart10, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123
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bizi, cashart10, Sunflower123
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Grand Magnate
cashart10
is feeling above the sky :)
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: KY
Posts: 3,667
3,076 hugs
given |
#203
Quote:
__________________ ***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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bizi, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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bizi, ~Christina
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
~Christina
has no updates.
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12.7k hugs
given |
#204
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
bizi, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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bizi, cashart10
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Grand Magnate
Wander
exists in a dualistic state...
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
2,611 hugs
given |
#205
Saw T. He thinks I am in a mixed state. It shocked me as I thought it was anxiety from trauma. I explained that this is exactly how I felt when I had full blown PTSD and no Bipolar diagnosis. He said I was probably misdiagnosed although agrees I had severe PTSD (he saw it) but also Bipolar at the time which no one picked up.
Now I am deeply concerned as I feel I can't tolerate another mixed episode. I am just too vulnerable from my last mixed with psychosis that abated mid February. That is what traumatised me. He thinks my swings from calm and happy (not hypo) to wildly suicidal plus other symptoms show intense agitation. I explained I am not depressed or manic so it doesn't make sense. He said just the agitation and swings, and intense mood states at times point to Bipolar mixed, plus some trauma reactions. Great. This just can't be happening. Right now (2pm) I am happily listening to music but I tend to disintegrate as the day progresses. Tomorrow I see my pdoc. Hopefully he can come up with some meds that will quickly snap me out of this. All my meds are held at the pharmacy so I cannot give myself PRN. So annoying but I understand why he did this in February. I just can't imagine what he can do with me already maxed out on three great meds. Maybe PRN antipsychotic like Haldol or something. Idk. Weird thinking about this while feeling so good. Although I have been out of control at times, and put my life in danger I don't think its time for IP. I hope he agrees as I will dig my heels in. __________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
Anonymous46341, bizi, fern46, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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Grand Magnate
Wander
exists in a dualistic state...
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
2,611 hugs
given |
#206
Great. It is now nearly 6 pm and I want to tear the house down I'm so worked up - agitated I guess. Nothing I do helps. My physical issues restrict me from sweating it out so I am stuck , unable to get rid of this horrible energy. I have no meds either. This is hell. Why do I start my days so chill only to end up here? I am so wound up I doubt sleep will come easily. I have an early pdoc appointment so can't take extra sleep meds. I just have to suck it up I guess and try not to do anything stupid. This surely could successfully be used as a form of torture.
__________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, fern46, Innerzone, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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Grand Poohbah
yellow_fleurs
has no updates.
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: US
Posts: 1,512
1,265 hugs
given |
#207
Quote:
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bizi, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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Wander
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Guest
Anonymous46341
has no updates.
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#208
Sunny day again, and what's really great is that our privacy fence is FINALLY being repaired today. I can't wait until we can enjoy our deck and have a BBQ.
Yesterday my mood was a bit elevated. My therapist told me that was clear, as well. She suggested I take an "as needed" Seroquel, but I'll confess that I didn't in the end. I ended up winding down a bit. I even got a normal amount of sleep. That sometimes happens to me. I'll be elevated in mood during the day, and then my evening medications will snarf it out. Then often I wake up OK, then the energy builds again. Spring has come. Happy first day of spring, everyone! I know that I'm vulnerable to developing mania in the spring. Sometimes it even starts as early as late February. It's good that my therapist and I talked about ways to curb it yesterday. Of course I love the increase in energy and mood, but if I don't succeed in taming the beast, the beast goes way too wild. |
Anonymous41462, bizi, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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~Christina
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Bizi is bizi
bizi
happines is a decision
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,830
43.6k hugs
given |
#209
It has been here for a while.
But happy first official day of spring to you too! Getting ready to shower....geesh... why must it be such a production???? Just get myself into the f' king shower! bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
Anonymous46341, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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Wise Elder
Innerzone
FML
Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: NW US
Posts: 9,383
31.3k hugs
given |
#210
Sleep's been pretty crappy lately. Getting to sleep isn't the problem, it's waking up ridiculously early. *Maybe* getting about 5 hours' worth of actual sleep. But definitely no "up" resulting from it. Mood-wise doing alright, despite circumstances. (I'm down on the circumstances, but stable.) A *little* frustration instability/reaction, sure, but overall ok. Staying on track with meds routine.
Now if I could only find a new job... (They want me OUTSIDE today! In the SUN! THAT'S not going to fly. I only burn, so NOT COOL. Good thing it is only early season. If it were straight up summer, I'd have to quit over it. I LOATHE summer's sun and heat for any that don't already know it, lol. Yet another reason I really need to get a new job pronto!) __________________ ********* Mr. Robot Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside. --The Cure
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Anonymous41403, Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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Crone
Nammu
has no updates.
Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 70,982
(SuperPoster!)
53.4k hugs
given |
#211
Quote:
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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Anonymous41403, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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Grand Magnate
fern46
has no updates.
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
4,300 hugs
given |
#212
Today has been mixed for me. I woke agitated, but calmed for a good morning. The weather is nice and I'm hoping this chill feeling will continue through the evening. I tried to stay awake all day, but I snuck a quick nap in anyway. Now I'm trying to force myself to exercise a bit.
Well wishes to all for a good day. |
Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, yellow_fleurs
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Innerzone, ~Christina
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Poohbah
Pookyl
has no updates.
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,435
79 hugs
given |
#213
I was only on Latuda a short while. I got paradoxical anxiety and Weight gain++
__________________ Pookyl ———————————————————————————— BP1, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia Psych meds: Saphris, Seroquel XR, regular Seroquel. PRN Diazepam and Zopiclone |
Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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Poohbah
Pookyl
has no updates.
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,435
79 hugs
given |
#214
Still IP. Ended even more manic since I arrived. I also had a fall and the meds made me merry 😀
__________________ Pookyl ———————————————————————————— BP1, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia Psych meds: Saphris, Seroquel XR, regular Seroquel. PRN Diazepam and Zopiclone |
Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
~Christina
has no updates.
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12.7k hugs
given |
#215
Quote:
Mixed episodes are pure hell on earth. I want to rip my skin off in a rage and sobbing my eyes out from feeling so lost. I hope your Pdoc can help you __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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BeyondtheRainbow, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, yellow_fleurs
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
~Christina
has no updates.
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12.7k hugs
given |
#216
Quote:
Oh gawd in the sun and heat ???? Oh hell no , I have zero tolerance when it comes to that. I just melt and I become a bytching monster , I’ve always been this way , should have seen me as a child growing up in Florida. Ugh it wasn’t pretty , my mom knocked the hell out of me for it all the time. , as if that helped Sleep yes sleep ...it has sent you flying in the past a few times i remember . Not good. Any ideas other than wacking yourself in the head at bedtime ??!! Lol but not really lol I still have all my body parts crossed that a new job pops up pronto !! __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
~Christina
has no updates.
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12.7k hugs
given |
#217
Quote:
I have been weighting the pros and cons of dropping this med for months now. Stepping on the scale yesterday sealed its fate , poof it’s gone. I worry about a crash but if I remembering back to other weigh gainers once off then the weight just came off rather quick.. that’s my hope Big Pharma sucks ! __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
~Christina
has no updates.
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12.7k hugs
given |
#218
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
BeyondtheRainbow, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
~Christina
has no updates.
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12.7k hugs
given |
#219
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
BeyondtheRainbow, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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Guest
Anonymous41462
has no updates.
Edit
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#220
I felt such intense boredom this evening that i went out to a mall just to have something to do. I enjoyed it. It was a nice break from my tiny apartment. The mall has a huge atrium with soaring ceilings -- so nice!
Still no sign of my Spring hypomania. This afternoon i sat on my balcony with my dog on my lap. But in my parka. My dog looked all around. SpringSpringSpring -- where are you? |
Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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