Bipolar Check-In Thread #33 - Page 30 - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 03-24-2019, 01:01 PM #291
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

Feeling somewhat stable, not manic or depressed. A little off, up and down, but whatever it is isnt too bad. Have been mostly sober for the last 12 days. Only had one beer last week so thats really good. Have been going to AA and my pdoc appts. H told me he wont enable me anymore when I tried last night, if I can just get him to say its not a big deal or he wont be upset then I feel ok with drinking but he started seeing a T and I think maybe they told him even that is enabling. Its good and sucks a bit, kept me from drinking last night so I am happy now about it. Just hard in the evenings still. Getting things done around home. Not taking any meds, I just feel confused in that department so I am taking some time to relax about it and not keep trying to make some big "decision" about if I should or shouldnt take them because it just stresses me out.

Overall pretty good. Feel like I am just enjoying the somewhat calm waters while everyone else believes the weatherman saying there is a hurricane coming. Its a toss up in my mind. Pdoc said she is 80% sure of my diagnosis when I said I still wasnt sure. She said she cant be 100% because she hasnt seen me completely manic and can only go on history, genetics and what she seen ip at which point I had already spent a week on a medical ward first.

Also its spring for real here Everything is melting and sometimes you can even go without a sweater. Gonna have our first fire of the year in the backyard tonight and roast hot dogs.
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Old 03-24-2019, 01:34 PM #292
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

I'm feeling really withdrawn. I'm with my family and friends, and work but I'm really withdrawn. I feel like there's a wall between me and everyone else but I don't want it to be there. I want to be more engaged and connected.

I had a conversation with my wife about my depression and the things I'm trying to do to help myself. It's hard to describe to someone what it's like.

She seems to think that I can think my way out of this, not in a bad way but she doesn't understand the depth of despair I feel. Someone without depression can't really understand what it's like.

I'm trying - engaging in a hobby a meeting with friends, working, writing, taking showers. It's a slow process and there are no quick fixes. I guess that's all we can do.
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Old 03-24-2019, 02:20 PM #293
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

Quote:
Originally Posted by bizi View Post
I can't post in the chat rooms!
It says to register...I have done that already.
frustrated.
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DocJohn explained how to fix this problem here: Trouble logging into chat? Here's the fix
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Old 03-24-2019, 05:07 PM #294
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

Today has been a good one. Errands this morning, a soccer game and then time outside with the family this afternoon. I even got a 30 min brisk walk in. I'm grateful for days like this when everything is easy going and I can forget about my troubles for a while.
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Old 03-24-2019, 05:12 PM #295
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

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Originally Posted by Scooter9 View Post
I'm feeling really withdrawn. I'm with my family and friends, and work but I'm really withdrawn. I feel like there's a wall between me and everyone else but I don't want it to be there. I want to be more engaged and connected.

I had a conversation with my wife about my depression and the things I'm trying to do to help myself. It's hard to describe to someone what it's like.

She seems to think that I can think my way out of this, not in a bad way but she doesn't understand the depth of despair I feel. Someone without depression can't really understand what it's like.

I'm trying - engaging in a hobby a meeting with friends, working, writing, taking showers. It's a slow process and there are no quick fixes. I guess that's all we can do.
I know what you mean about people not understanding. Some people (even therapists) think we are choosing to be depressed with negative thinking. Who would choose this?
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Old 03-24-2019, 05:46 PM #296
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

Bad bad cold.
At times, I feel a little better. But not near whole.
I'm dealing with a green pool, and cleaning the filters
every few hrs.
Handling water is not making me feel any better either.
But it has to be done.
Everything accumulates when you're sick.
"He who wants no chocolate, gets two cups."
Cheers.
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Old 03-24-2019, 06:04 PM #297
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It strains reality: it is snowing again! I can't f_ck!ng believe it! Will this Winter NEVER be over? I can't remember my Spring hypomania ever being this late. I hope i don't just skip it...
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Old 03-24-2019, 08:21 PM #298
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

Slept until 300 today !!! Kept waking up feeling like crap so I rolled right back over.

I think my snuffles is turning into a sinus infection. Gotta catch it before it hits my lungs and hope it doesnít cause another ear infection ... they strike and rupture one or both eardrums ( happens a few times a year)

But things could be much worse ~
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Old 03-24-2019, 08:59 PM #299
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Yesterday I crashed physically and spent the day on the couch or in bed. My mood was low but not depressed. This morning Iím still tired but a bit better. I have a 40 minute drive each way today to get to a Rheumatologist appointment. I doubt he can help my Fibromyalgia but itís worth a try. Havenít been looking after myself with junk food and beer, but at least Iím reducing both. So glad I havenít been agitated for two days but the anxiety has been bad. Pdoc and T say that part is PTSD. My mind floods with memories and cause me distress. At least I have a long history (years ago) of severe PTSD so I have experience managing it.
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Old 03-24-2019, 09:12 PM #300
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A vagrant came into the restaurant where mum and I were dining. He went from table to table talking to people, he didn't ask for anything just talked. The manager asked him to leave but must have called the cops because 4 cop cars and six cops showed up. I feel bad cause I said nothing to him, not a word, not a kind look, nothing. He was arrested....for what. But for getting help and meds there go I
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