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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,359
(SuperPoster!)
13 53.6k hugs
given |
#601
No, no,no, the snow was supposed to melt on contact and be mixed with rain....not a full out snowstorm. Looks like that early forecast was right....4-8 inches of white stuff. NO! Looks like December-January out there. Bed is calling me!
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, Sunflower123
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
5 4,300 hugs
given |
#602
Quote:
I'm glad you had a good night and plan for an easy day today. |
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Anonymous46341, Sunflower123
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,359
(SuperPoster!)
13 53.6k hugs
given |
#603
Quote:
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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Anonymous46341, Sunflower123
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: East Coast
Posts: 3,537
11 3,826 hugs
given |
#604
I've been applying to jobs for over two months now and I've only had one interview. It's wearing me down and it's getting harder and harder to stay motivated to keep applying. I'm seeing the same jobs that have turned me down in my job searches and it's frustrating. The stress about my lack of funds is making me overeat and the fact that I am home everyday and not very active is letting me gain weight. My positive attitude is slowly going down the drain and anxiety is replacing it. I just want to stay in bed and under the covers. Luckily my sister and her kids will be over this weekend, so that will be a welcomed distraction for a few days. But I'm just so over this situation..
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Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Nammu, pirilin, Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25, yellow_fleurs
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543
(SuperPoster!)
9 95k hugs
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#605
I’m doing really good today.
Yay! The dental procedure is done and I haven’t needed pain pills. The dentist didn’t want me to drive up to visit my daughter today or tomorrow so that will have to wait. He does want me to eat ice cream for the next three days. Well, I’ll make that sacrifice if I must...lol. Just so darn happy it’s done. To beat it all, I came home and two family friends were trimming the bushes and mowing the yard. They even took the trash out to the curb since I’m supposed to be resting. Good friends are true treasures. Warm wishes and hugs to all. |
Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Nammu, wildflowerchild25, yellow_fleurs
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Innerzone
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Elder
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,434
11 9,563 hugs
given |
#606
I found out that I can do my clinical practice over the summer instead of during the regular school year so that’s awesome. That means I won’t have to quit my job. I also found out though that I did fail the one class I never withdrew from. So my GPA is a sad 2.92. I will get it up though. And for a masters the GPA doesn’t matter as much because I’ll never go for my doctorate so I don’t have to impress anyone. Jobs won’t care about my master’s gpa. Just that I have a master’s.
I woke up this morning thinking this was all a huge mistake but now I’m back to being excited. I hope it isn’t s mistake. In other news I am hottibly upset about my weight. I’ve been eating terribly and gained ten pounds in the six weeks since I left work. Part of it was because I couldn’t stand up long enough to cook and fast food isn’t healthy but most of it was eating for comfort. I’m trying desperately to reel it in but I just get so hungry at night. I don’t think it’s my meds, I’ve been on them for a year and haven’t had a problem. Now my birth control definitely makes me snacky in the third week but usually I can overcome that. Now I just can’t. I’ve done well today despite having fast food for both lunch and dinner - I made better choices so my calorie intake wasn’t too high. I hope I can keep it together tonight and limit my snack to one bowl of cereal. In other other news I am nearly one year hospital free. I’m so happy. I’m so glad I’ve been mostly stable. Just a couple of blips over the summer that were situational and then winter that were seasonal. No hypomania. Which I kind of miss but it leads to bad things so that’s actually good. Next week is my son’s spring break so he will be home with me all week. I am planning on taking him to my grandmother’s house and to the park. RS is also going to take a day off and we are going to go down to the indoor water park. It will be fun I’m sure. __________________ Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, gina_re, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Nammu, Sunflower123, yellow_fleurs
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,899
6 78 hugs
given |
#607
Still here. I'm feeling like crap though. Stupid low iron anemia. I am starting to wonder if distance running could be the culprit? Still waiting on one lab to come in, but the latest blood work shows the same, some elevated liver levels (ALT and AST), not super elevated but a bit. Even lower total iron with higher iron-binding capacity, ferritin now at the lowest number of the normal range, some other iron related enzyme elevated. The liver tests other than ALT and AST were normal, thank goodness (other than the one with a longer turn around time), and I have read even stress or vigorous exercise can increase ALT and AST, not to mention the fact that I had to take Tylenol daily (often more than once a day) nearly all of March because I had 3 new crowns put in, and one of the bottom ones just flared up the nerve horribly. I was ready to get a root canal, but the dentist thought it was worth waiting a few weeks as nothing obvious was wrong on the x-rays. That nerve/tooth is finally feeling much more normal and less painful.
Could be distance running is the culprit though, and I might have to take a break, depending what the doctor says. I'm already running much less from the fatigue and have been a couple weeks now, but maybe not long enough to make a difference in the lab and my body just yet? I exercised and ran like a fiend in college, and I never got to this point of anemia, even with restricting calories too. And definitely not ice eating pica. A lot of days I run the refrigerator icemaker out of ice, and I'm here by myself all day. The craving for ice is super strong. I can't resist it if I know I can get ice. Feel like I'm an addict to it or something. Wanting some answers. I see my PCP next week, my GI doc the following week. Something from my ulcer surgery may have caused this, or perhaps the hiatal hernia he found at my recent upper endoscopy. Just feel like crap and don't know if it's worth it to take an iron supplement or not or if I even should. The GI doc ordered the latest bloodwork, but he is super busy (workaholic, I think). Also, I think he wants the last test to come in, which has a longer turnaround time, probably also the biopsy results from the upper endoscopy. I follow up with him near the end of the month. Hopefully, my PCP gets me on iron supplements or initiates a few more tests. Maybe it's as simple as running being the culprit, but I hate that because I like running and especially distance running. It helps me with my anxiety and panic attacks. But then again, low iron anemia can cause anxiety & panic attacks, so it's all a great big confusing jumble. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, , propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, omeperazole I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --Robert Frost |
Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Scooter9, Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25, yellow_fleurs
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lightly toasted
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: Here and There
Posts: 1,147
5 1,724 hugs
given |
#608
Better today.
Managed to get 3 loads of laundry done, the kitchen cleaned and put something in the slow cooker for supper. Even managed a short workout before having a bath. I had insomnia last night again, but I it was at the front end of the night, so the sleep I did get was in one block . |
gina_re, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, yellow_fleurs
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Innerzone
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: US
Posts: 1,512
5 1,265 hugs
given |
#609
The last few days have been rather tough but I can blame it on hormones plus stressors like my car breaking down. Honestly mostly hormones as I felt happy despite the car situation when it happened. I felt super chipper and in love with life on Friday when I saw my therapist, by Saturday everything was making me anxious and irritable and it's been just rough since then. Had acupuncture yesterday and things are going a little bit better today. I seriously just don't understand my brain sometimes. I keep going back and forth and being indecisive about trying medication again. I am not against it, but since I surprised my psychiatrist with my med reactions it makes me anxious that will be a pattern and could happen again. Same with the birth control to level out my moods. I have the Rx filled, but I am not super keen on trying for three months to see if it works out. My doctor basically said I would have to try it that long even if I felt worse although I would stop it sooner if I had dangerous thoughts. I am too scared because my insight is not good in these kinds of states so I might not even realize I needed to stop it.
In better news a friend is visiting from out of town this weekend. I have not seen her in a long time and am looking forward to it. I am also going to do zumba with another friend tomorrow night so staying active. Hope everyone has a great night and day tomorrow. |
BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Nammu, Scooter9, Sunflower123
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~Christina
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#610
Miserable. I tried to cheer myself up by taking a trip to a far-away mall that i like but it didn't work. I couldn't look at people or finish my meal. I see my doctor tomorrow and not a moment too soon.
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BeyondtheRainbow, gina_re, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Scooter9, Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given |
#611
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given |
#612
Quote:
Oh no !!! I don’t approve of this at all. I have a flamethrower if you’d like to borrow it ! Stay warm __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Nammu
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Nammu
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given |
#613
Quote:
I loathe dental work I stress out til I’m sick. Glad you have some great people to help you __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Sunflower123
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Sunflower123
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SUPERMAN
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 3,679
8 2,698 hugs
given |
#614
Made a lowball offer on eBay for 12hrs.
We have been haggling me up, him down for like five times. I never thought he will sell it. But couldn't go to sleep either. Two minutes before the end, I found it in my cart. There should be a law against people like that. What if I have a cardiac condition?. Or a renal one. (I almost said ****, but no problems in that vecinity.) Or my nerves are fried?. Which they are. Since birth. Gonna sleep like a baby now. What's for you, nobody can take away. (Old Cuban proverb.) TATA!!!. Cheers. __________________ ]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[ Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON. If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown. Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo. You are the slave of what you say, and the master of what you keep. Unknown. |
Nammu, Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given |
#615
Quote:
I feel yeah. It’s hard to “ try” meds as most of take a while to work. Side effects of a types can happen. I hope you can find a balance that is good for you __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Sunflower123, yellow_fleurs
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given |
#616
Busy day today , finally sitting my fat ash down.
I’ve been off Latuda for a month and I found today I have lost over 10 lbs with no increase in exercise,, so I’m glad I dumped it. I’m feeling fine... happily waiting for our vacation to start on Monday. I see my Pdoc tomorrow, routine normal 3 month visit. Will I tell him I ditched Latuda ? I see no point at this time , “ if” I get into trouble mood wise I’ll deal with it then. Hugs and cookies to everyone __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
Anonymous46341, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Nammu, Sunflower123
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Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
9 2,611 hugs
given |
#617
Feeling INTENSE. Can't stop staring wildly. Overwhelmed. Will fight to the death to survive. Contentment has been lost. Need support. This PTSD therapy is helping but I seem to be reacting and want to act out. So I am drinking a beer with smokes I cannot afford. Why can't I be better behaved? Trying, trying so hard. Not sure what to do tonight. Will try to sleep early but feel wired. Don't want to take Seroquel so we'll see how that goes. Guess it's one of those intense struggly days.
__________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
Anonymous46341, gina_re, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Nammu, Scooter9, Sunflower123
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
5 4,300 hugs
given |
#618
Quote:
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Sunflower123
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2018
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,205
5 80 hugs
given |
#619
I'm starting to feel better after being in bed since Sunday. It's a flu or cold. I was out of bed for maybe 2 hours out of 3 days!
I'm back at work today but still sniffling. My ears just cleared up too, which is nice. I found out that a guy that started after me got fired while I was away. I hope it was performance related and that they are not cutting back on people in general. I'll find out later today. In other news, I checked my Instagram and I have over 500 followers! I have been working on this for about 6 months now and am pleased to see that. I use it to market my other books (not the one I recently finished). My goal is to have around 5,000 followers - that's still a way off but I'm happy with what I have now. Mood wise I have not been feeling as low as last week but then I was preoccupied with my sickness. I skipped Modafinil for 3 days so that I could sleep during the day and rest. __________________ * Dx: Unspecified Bipolar and Related Disorder * Rx: Remeron, Prozac, Klonopin, Vraylar My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in July 2016. |
Anonymous46341, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Nammu, Sunflower123
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#620
I had a special class I signed up for that was supposed to happen tonight, but that had to be cancelled.Sadly, the instructor became very ill. So tonight I'll be on my own again. Hubby has a project he's working on with a friend. He went out with a different friend last night. Last night I went to the movies and saw "The Aftermath". It wasn't that great. It was emotionally intense, though. I felt a bit unwell at the end.
I rarely buy anything other than groceries, but today I bought myself a new spring dress, a coordinating cardigan sweater and a pair of cargo pants. All were 40-50% off. I bought them through Lands End and Eddie Bauer. I needed a pretty dress for my upcoming high school reunion. Unfortunately, very few of my dresses fit well anymore. I've gained weight. I highly doubt I'll lose enough by early next month to fit in my old dresses. The one I bought is a pretty floral blue and pink. The cardigan is pink. I have two pretty pairs of shoes that would surely go with the dress, but both are kind of high wedge type shoes. I'm a little clumsy nowadays. I may want to buy something lower heeled. Yesterday I scheduled my next French lesson. I cancelled my last one. I need to get back to it. Last time I was physically unwell and extremely agitated and anxious. I'm suddenly feeling emotional now, but otherwise calm. I just watched a video about my old high school, and tears fell from my eyes. It astounds me that that was 30 years ago. I remember my time there so well. I'm almost afraid that when I attend the reunion I will cry. Generally, I'm not a crier, but I am sort of yearning for something I had back then. I could feel the same going back to my university campus. That's actually not too far from my home, either. The strange thing is that if I walk the campuses I will be like a stranger, in a sense. I could feel a bit like an outsider. I almost feel the same when I walk around my childhood hometown. Last edited by Anonymous46341; Apr 11, 2019 at 10:40 AM.. |
Anonymous41462, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Nammu, Sunflower123
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