Over an hour later. Impulsivity, I got dressed in a flash and decided to go to my alma mater university. I could have driven, but had an urge to take the train. I got to the train station to literally find zero parking spot in the no permit needed area. I drove around it maybe four times and figured maybe the trip was not to be. Everyone parked there is in the city (NYC). Instead, I went to my downtown area, a touristy area with a major league university of its own. An even more prestigious university. Now I'm in a local pub restaurant having a salad...Um, and a beer. I don't feel guilty. It's the sane expense as the parking at the train station and roundtrip train ticket to my alma mater. I would have eaten lunch there, anyway.

Yummy salad with chicken, walnuts, gorgonzola cheese, spiced pear. And...beer. Only one, I promise.

[lightly toasted]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Generally, I'm not a crier, but I am sort of yearning for something I had back then.

I can relate to this, I was getting the same feeling (and I often get this feeling) as I was reading your post. I yearn for that youthful energy, and the ignorance of this illness. I'm sure I must have been showing subtle signs of this illness back then, but it was nice thinking I believing I could achieve the life I imagined for myself.
Embarrassingly, I've been sort of online stalking my boyfriend from back then- I've not made contact or anything super weird, just read what he had put out there for anyone to read. He was not very nice to me, so I'm not sure why my occasional obsession with him lately...other than, I would just love to be 17 again, and not know any of what I know now, or maybe know all of it, and make different choices for myself.

I try and shake out of these doldrums of unhealthy nostalgia, and looking at my past with rose tinted glasses, and focus on making my current life better for myself. But the shear lack of energy, despite motivation just kills me. So tough to want to improve things but having the energy of a 90 year old with the flu most of the time.

Encouraged by your new spring clothes, Bird Dancer. It's given me to courage to pull out and assess my spring/summer clothes and accept what I fear I have out-fatted and what maybe *fingers crossed* still fits.

[Nammu]

The weather got worse. Thunderstorms with such loud thunder it shook my bed. Debris everywhere today. In my daughters county there are over 200 poles down so no travel advised. Plus the cable was out this am. No internet, tv or phone. Icy and windy out there. No plans to go anywhere or do anything.

Christina been following your latuda journey, 10lbs is a lot for no changes. seriously considering joining you in stopping that.

I feel kinda paranoid. Stressed out I guess. I don't know why because there's really nothing to stress me out, except these feelings. Oh these feelings...

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

The weather got worse. Thunderstorms with such loud thunder it shook my bed. Debris everywhere today. In my daughters county there are over 200 poles down so no travel advised. Plus the cable was out this am. No internet, tv or phone. Icy and windy out there. No plans to go anywhere or do anything.


Christina been following your latuda journey, 10lbs is a lot for no changes. seriously considering joining you in stopping that.

I was very surprised, and over the moon happy.

Saw my Pdoc today and saw no reason to tell him st this point

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by spikes

I feel kinda paranoid. Stressed out I guess. I don't know why because there's really nothing to stress me out, except these feelings. Oh these feelings...

Ugh being paranoid is the worst. I hope it passes soon

[GoldenSnitch]

I’m exhausted. I’m in this weird phase and I’m just not sleeping. I’m all paranoid and being impulsive and I just want to sleep forever.

[~Christina]

Had a lot of errands to do today and I’m wore out , got about 3 hours sleep last. night. Fibromyalgia isn’t playing nice.

I was correct in getting my husband in with our Doctor he’s got another lung infection , he’s back on antibiotics and steroids that should perk him up a bit.

Tomorrow I take the dogs for there shots and then back home and I’m giving them both a bath !

My mammogram came back fine but bone density is showing osteopenia so I’m going to be on weekly Fosamax for 5 years. I get rid of one Med and get a damn nother one

Can’t wait til Monday !! I sure hope he gets to feeling better. I want him to enjoy out vacation.

and cookies

[Daonnachd]

I just had to turn to facebook to ask for a ride to ECT and back.

[Victoria'smom]

I slept last night but I’m dropping/spilling everything. My husband says it’s because I’m exhausted. I’m in control of my thoughts today. I’m not agitated

Possible trigger:

I still feel my arm would look/feel better slit from elbow to wrist

It’s not a need and I can tell myself that it’s a horrible idea. So everything is really mild as of right now. At least today. If I continue unable to sleep I’ll start my zyprexa prn. I’m taking ambien to often and I don’t want to get addicted, that’d be really ******. I’m thinking of “teaching” a class to help homeschoolers prepare for college/career planning. However I don’t want to hear all the excuses parents will give.

[gina_re]

I met with my case worker from Medicaid today. She did a quick assessment and then told me of all the resources and benefits that are available to me. Good to know some of them. I then did some more grocery shopping and came home and watched tv. I received a letter in the mail the other day from the SSA that I actually read today. I apparently have a hearing in July. I wish it was sooner, but something is better than nothing.

[Scooter9]

In my last update I mentioned a guy that started after me got fired. It turns out it was for performance issues, so that's good news in a way because they're not cutting back on people.

I feel bad for him but he brought it on himself. I tried to show him things but he refused and wanted to do them his way. You can't do that when you're brought in to do something really specific and technical - you follow the rules for a while before you can start making changes. But he insisted and paid for it with his job

I worked for the day today - my first day back after several days off sick. I'm not 100% but I made it anyway. One more day until the weekend.

[Fuzzybear]

Very rough day ... one of many very rough days Hugs to all

[fern46]

Glad you are feeling better Scooter and happy to hear your job is not in jeopardy.

Sorry it has been a rough day Fuzzybear. Hugs back to you.

I saw my doctor and he started me on Lamictal. Glad to be trying something new. My blood pressure is fine and he didn't nag me about my weight.

BirdDancer: congrats on the new clothes. They sound pretty! Enjoy yourself!

Bad couple of days. Let’s hope things get better

[Sunflower123]

Just checking in. I’m doing pretty good. Healing nicely so far. A little tired of ice cream. Working hard so the house will be ready for Easter. The household has been quiet and still today. Usually, I love, love, love being alone or having some peace and quiet but not today. Going to get up and out by 7:00 tomorrow to run errands. Got to keep busy.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

[Wander]

It is 10 am here and after a good sleep, which took hours to get to but hey at least it was good after I got to sleep. My mood is better. I was drowning yesterday and terrified I was getting sick again. Now I can see it was just a bad day. Today I am packing to go to my parents to look after their house while they're away for a week. They have a HUGE TV and spectacular sound system so I am looking forward to blasting the stereo and watching some great shows. My partner is going to join me so it should be fun. I just hope our Bipolar conditions like irritability don't cause trouble as they can. This is why we don't live together. We would drive each other crazy and have to separate. This is why our 11 year marriage failed in the first place. He is a great guy though and we love each other deeply and understand each other like no one else can.

[Under*Over]

I feel pretty good and have been feeling this way for a while

[Pookyl]

My weight has slowly started to drop with my med changes. 3kg (6lbs) so far. I hope it continues. I have a fair way to go.