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#621
Over an hour later. Impulsivity, I got dressed in a flash and decided to go to my alma mater university. I could have driven, but had an urge to take the train. I got to the train station to literally find zero parking spot in the no permit needed area. I drove around it maybe four times and figured maybe the trip was not to be. Everyone parked there is in the city (NYC). Instead, I went to my downtown area, a touristy area with a major league university of its own. An even more prestigious university. Now I'm in a local pub restaurant having a salad...Um, and a beer. I don't feel guilty. It's the sane expense as the parking at the train station and roundtrip train ticket to my alma mater. I would have eaten lunch there, anyway.
Yummy salad with chicken, walnuts, gorgonzola cheese, spiced pear. And...beer. Only one, I promise. Last edited by Anonymous46341; Apr 11, 2019 at 12:25 PM.. |
Anonymous41462, BeyondtheRainbow, Nammu, Sunflower123
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: Here and There
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#622
Quote:
I can relate to this, I was getting the same feeling (and I often get this feeling) as I was reading your post. I yearn for that youthful energy, and the ignorance of this illness. I'm sure I must have been showing subtle signs of this illness back then, but it was nice thinking I believing I could achieve the life I imagined for myself. Embarrassingly, I've been sort of online stalking my boyfriend from back then- I've not made contact or anything super weird, just read what he had put out there for anyone to read. He was not very nice to me, so I'm not sure why my occasional obsession with him lately...other than, I would just love to be 17 again, and not know any of what I know now, or maybe know all of it, and make different choices for myself. I try and shake out of these doldrums of unhealthy nostalgia, and looking at my past with rose tinted glasses, and focus on making my current life better for myself. But the shear lack of energy, despite motivation just kills me. So tough to want to improve things but having the energy of a 90 year old with the flu most of the time. Encouraged by your new spring clothes, Bird Dancer. It's given me to courage to pull out and assess my spring/summer clothes and accept what I fear I have out-fatted and what maybe *fingers crossed* still fits. |
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Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Sunflower123
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
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#623
The weather got worse. Thunderstorms with such loud thunder it shook my bed. Debris everywhere today. In my daughters county there are over 200 poles down so no travel advised. Plus the cable was out this am. No internet, tv or phone. Icy and windy out there. No plans to go anywhere or do anything.
Christina been following your latuda journey, 10lbs is a lot for no changes. seriously considering joining you in stopping that. __________________ Nammu Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. ... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Sunflower123
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~Christina
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#624
I feel kinda paranoid. Stressed out I guess. I don't know why because there's really nothing to stress me out, except these feelings. Oh these feelings...
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Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
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#625
Quote:
I was very surprised, and over the moon happy. Saw my Pdoc today and saw no reason to tell him st this point __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Nammu, Sunflower123
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Nammu
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: Canada
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#626
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BeyondtheRainbow, Sunflower123
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 577
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#627
Im exhausted. Im in this weird phase and Im just not sleeping. Im all paranoid and being impulsive and I just want to sleep forever.
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BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Nammu, Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Location: Tennessee
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#628
Had a lot of errands to do today and Im wore out , got about 3 hours sleep last. night. Fibromyalgia isnt playing nice.
I was correct in getting my husband in with our Doctor hes got another lung infection , hes back on antibiotics and steroids that should perk him up a bit. Tomorrow I take the dogs for there shots and then back home and Im giving them both a bath ! My mammogram came back fine but bone density is showing osteopenia so Im going to be on weekly Fosamax for 5 years. I get rid of one Med and get a damn nother one Cant wait til Monday !! I sure hope he gets to feeling better. I want him to enjoy out vacation. and cookies __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Nammu, Sunflower123, yellow_fleurs
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Sunflower123
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Napa Valley
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#629
I just had to turn to facebook to ask for a ride to ECT and back.
__________________ >< |
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
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#630
I slept last night but Im dropping/spilling everything. My husband says its because Im exhausted. Im in control of my thoughts today. Im not agitated
Possible trigger:
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: East Coast
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#631
I met with my case worker from Medicaid today. She did a quick assessment and then told me of all the resources and benefits that are available to me. Good to know some of them. I then did some more grocery shopping and came home and watched tv. I received a letter in the mail the other day from the SSA that I actually read today. I apparently have a hearing in July. I wish it was sooner, but something is better than nothing.
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Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, Fuzzybear, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wander
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2018
Location: Toronto, Canada
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#632
In my last update I mentioned a guy that started after me got fired. It turns out it was for performance issues, so that's good news in a way because they're not cutting back on people.
I feel bad for him but he brought it on himself. I tried to show him things but he refused and wanted to do them his way. You can't do that when you're brought in to do something really specific and technical - you follow the rules for a while before you can start making changes. But he insisted and paid for it with his job I worked for the day today - my first day back after several days off sick. I'm not 100% but I made it anyway. One more day until the weekend. __________________ * Dx: Unspecified Bipolar and Related Disorder * Rx: Remeron, Prozac, Klonopin, Vraylar My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in July 2016. |
Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, Fuzzybear, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Nammu, Sunflower123, tecomsin, Unrigged64072835
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#633
Very rough day ... one of many very rough days Hugs to all
__________________ |
Anonymous43918, Anonymous46341, fern46, Innerzone, lightly toasted, tecomsin, Unrigged64072835, wildflowerchild25
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
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#634
Glad you are feeling better Scooter and happy to hear your job is not in jeopardy.
Sorry it has been a rough day Fuzzybear. Hugs back to you. |
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#635
I saw my doctor and he started me on Lamictal. Glad to be trying something new. My blood pressure is fine and he didn't nag me about my weight.
BirdDancer: congrats on the new clothes. They sound pretty! Enjoy yourself! |
Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, lightly toasted, Nammu, Sunflower123, tecomsin, Unrigged64072835
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#636
Bad couple of days. Lets hope things get better
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Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, gina_re, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Nammu, Scooter9, Sunflower123, tecomsin, Unrigged64072835
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#637
Just checking in. Im doing pretty good. Healing nicely so far. A little tired of ice cream. Working hard so the house will be ready for Easter. The household has been quiet and still today. Usually, I love, love, love being alone or having some peace and quiet but not today. Going to get up and out by 7:00 tomorrow to run errands. Got to keep busy.
Warm wishes and hugs to all. |
Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Nammu, tecomsin, Unrigged64072835
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Innerzone
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
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#638
It is 10 am here and after a good sleep, which took hours to get to but hey at least it was good after I got to sleep. My mood is better. I was drowning yesterday and terrified I was getting sick again. Now I can see it was just a bad day. Today I am packing to go to my parents to look after their house while they're away for a week. They have a HUGE TV and spectacular sound system so I am looking forward to blasting the stereo and watching some great shows. My partner is going to join me so it should be fun. I just hope our Bipolar conditions like irritability don't cause trouble as they can. This is why we don't live together. We would drive each other crazy and have to separate. This is why our 11 year marriage failed in the first place. He is a great guy though and we love each other deeply and understand each other like no one else can.
__________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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Member
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#639
I feel pretty good and have been feeling this way for a while
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Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, lightly toasted, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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Innerzone
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: Australia
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#640
My weight has slowly started to drop with my med changes. 3kg (6lbs) so far. I hope it continues. I have a fair way to go.
__________________ Pookyl BP1, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia Psych meds: Saphris, Seroquel XR, regular Seroquel. PRN Diazepam and Zopiclone |
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