Bipolar Check-In Thread #33 - Page 87 - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 04-24-2019, 05:57 AM #861
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

Looks like a few people are interviewing for jobs. Wishing everyone luck!!
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Old 04-24-2019, 08:14 AM #862
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

Doing well, just got back from an hour or so walk. Skipped the geodon last night, almost skipped the zyprexa although that should probably be the one I skipped instead. Saw a huge python in the middle of the street along with a doll head, pretty sure the python was a hallucination though because I live in the north woods and it went away in the blink of an eye. I get by the day by not caring if I live or die, that's how I went on a walk anyways and ate the brownies we made at group.
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Old 04-24-2019, 08:36 AM #863
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Iím doing pretty well. Beating myself up because I bought more cigarettes today. I just canít seem to quit. But I have to because RS hates cigarettes and cigarette smoke. I only bought them because I wonít be seeing him today. I have to get rid of them before tomorrow. I also have to quit vaping before we get our own place over the summer. Itís too expensive and I canít be putting it on my credit card every month. I want to continue to build my credit so we can buy a house eventually. So I have to build some willpower.

I bought a chrome book because I hate my laptop but I canít afford a new laptop. And I donít want a new laptop anyway. Windows is ********. Iíve hated it ever since I bought the damn thing. I bought it intially when I was hypomanic and I wanted to play my game. Then I bought the game and played it a grand total of four times. So **** that. Chrome book all the way. It will allow me to get my school work done easier.

Iím still depressed about my weight but I think Iím moving In the right direction. Eating much better. At least, eating less. I donít know about better but less is a good start. The scale needs batteries so I canít be sure Iíve lost weight but I donít feel as bloated as last week so I should have dropped at least a couple of pounds of water weight.

I go back to work in one week. Iím nervous. I hope I remember everything. I had a nightmare about work the other night. That I went back and my classroom staff completely ignored me and were incredibly rude to me. I hope thatís not the case.

I hope everyone has a pleasant day.
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Old 04-24-2019, 11:06 AM #864
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

I see my T today and like always I don't know what to discuss.
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Old 04-24-2019, 12:16 PM #865
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My dad FINALLY managed to get all the way into a psych hospital/alcohol rehab (dual diagnosis ward). He's been there since yesterday afternoon. Luckily it's one only 15 mins drive from my home and about 30 mins drive from my siblings' homes. We're visiting him there tonight. I called to talk to him about an hour ago to check that he wants visitors tonight. He does. Of course now his fickle "What a predicament! Wish I wasn't here!" kicked in. He starts ranting that he thinks he'll be in the psych hospital for the rest of his life. He probably already asked to be discharged, but of course that wouldn't happen right away. He totally changes his tune on things 180 degrees. His illness talking.

His girlfriend asked if she can visit him, but I told her in a very nice and diplomatic way to let some days pass. Somehow either my uncle caught the drift that something's up with my dad or he wondered why he wasn't home with all the cars in the driveway. He called my sister as I was finishing my call to her. I told her it would be best not to encourage my uncle to get involved. Believe me! If he showed up during visiting hours and did harm, I swear I would challenge him to a fist fight. He's an a...whole.

The situation is stressful even though it's hopefully a step in the right direction for my dad.
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Old 04-24-2019, 03:14 PM #866
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I just found out my brother has an aggressive form of cancer. I'm devastated. We don't know much yet other than he's in for a battle. I hate waiting to find out just how far it has spread. Hopefully it is localized and he can beat it.

I'm trying my best to be mindful of my thoughts I know my spiraling out of control would be bad right now. I've been healthy for almost 6 months and I want to continue. My brother stood by me when I was sick. Time for me to do the same for him.
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Old 04-24-2019, 05:19 PM #867
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

Sending my best wishes, fern. That is a hard situation.
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Old 04-24-2019, 05:53 PM #868
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

Time is moving at it's absolute SLOWEST right now. I guess I should be enjoying my freedom for a little while longer, but I HATE having this "up in the air" feeling. I start school in a few weeks and I really don't want to. I want to get this job I interviewed with yesterday and just be done with it. Just be done with it and get my life going. I am tired of trying and trying, I am just so, so tired.
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Old 04-24-2019, 06:35 PM #869
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

Iíve been having ridiculous brain zaps the last few days and all my pdoc says is to take Ativan. It does not help. And now today Iím all fuzzy and I keep forgetting things and Iíve been on a spending spree and I just donít feel right at all. Not sure whatís going on.
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Old 04-24-2019, 06:52 PM #870
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenSnitch View Post
Iíve been having ridiculous brain zaps the last few days and all my pdoc says is to take Ativan. It does not help. And now today Iím all fuzzy and I keep forgetting things and Iíve been on a spending spree and I just donít feel right at all. Not sure whatís going on.
Zaps like popping in the back of your head? I had that before I went off the rails with my mixed episode. I'm sorry your pdoc isn't being more proactive.
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