advertisement
Closed Thread
Thread Tools Display Modes
~Christina
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
12.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 20, 2019 at 08:20 PM
  #221
Been cleaning all day with short breaks here and there , my back is hella pissed !

Oh and I burnt some cabbage I was cooking down going to make my gleaming clean house smell grrrr

__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
~Christina is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous41462, BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat

advertisement
TheSeaCat
Grand Member
 
TheSeaCat's Avatar
TheSeaCat is in love
 
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 796
5 yr Member
3,607 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 20, 2019 at 09:55 PM
  #222
Hello everyone; I hope everyone is doing well today. I am starting to feel anxious and worried about tomorrow. Really it seems to be the only thing my brain wants to think about which is so very nice. Work was alright had some complaints to deal with; it would be so nice to go a day without someone complaining about something.

Sorry again not really in an updating mood.

Hugs to everyone

__________________
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Depression
Symptoms of PTSD

Trintellix 10mg once daily
Buspar 10mg three times daily
TheSeaCat is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123
BeyondtheRainbow
Wise Elder
 
BeyondtheRainbow's Avatar
BeyondtheRainbow has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,194 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
9,275 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 20, 2019 at 10:07 PM
  #223
I'm working my way through the grief book my therapist lent me. It's actually a workbook but I decided to read first and then go through the workbook if he thinks it will help. I'm not sure I'm yet in the place that I'll benefit; I think I'm one step before the workbook stuff starts and need to address that first.

I feel like I'm not allowed to grieve because I did 20 years ago. But I have all sorts of new feelings and things I haven't allowed myself to feel for 20 years (or longer) and I need to sort through that and feel worthy to grieve before I can do it.

His obituary ran in the local paper for where I grew up this week. Nobody reached out to say "I'm sorry". I know people have good reason to not think well of him but I thought at least one person would say something. But if it were me I'd probably not know what to say either.

Otherwise a decent day. I walked my mom's dogs so I got some exercise which is good. I have done 2 loads of laundry in 2 days which is at least accomplishing something. I've been struggling with that lately; I am just tired and low motivation since his death. I'm learning this is normal but I would like a day or two off.

__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD.
Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel
BeyondtheRainbow is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, Innerzone, Nammu, Scooter9, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
Wander
Grand Magnate
 
Wander's Avatar
Wander exists in a dualistic state...
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
8 yr Member
2,611 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 01:34 AM
  #224
Saw my pdoc at 10am. He was concerned about my levels of agitation and anxiety and what they compel me to do so he suggested IP. I want to try alternative options as I hate IP and only got out of my last horror admission (the episode was horror not the staff) six weeks ago. He gave me a script for a strong benzo to deal with the anxiety and requested I take Haldol. I thought my pharmacy was holding all my meds but they had thrown out my Haldol as I was not currently using it. So they sent a message to my pdoc to fax the script. It is 2.30pm and he has not got back to them. I hope it comes through soon as I need relief.

If I am not feeling calmer by tomorrow he wants me to contact him and I will go IP once a bed is available. My pdoc told me we would get through this as I despair another episode and feel I cannot handle anymore. I fear for my life if these meds don't work ASAP. I went for a swim to try and lift my mood and burn some rage off. I felt better for a bit but am drowning again. Why do I keep getting mixed episodes so often? I have a great pdoc who fights to help me and is very skilled. Mixed episodes are notoriously hard to treat. I can't live like this and I don't know how to escape.

__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features
PTSD




"Phew! For a minute there I lost myself."

'Karma Police' by Radiohead
Wander is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, wildflowerchild25
BeyondtheRainbow
Wise Elder
 
BeyondtheRainbow's Avatar
BeyondtheRainbow has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,194 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
9,275 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 05:23 AM
  #225
Wander, have you ever tried clozapine? That is what stopped (at least lessened greatly) my constant mixed episodes. I haven't had a bad one in the 3 years I've been on clozapine compared tn pretty constantly prior to that.

__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD.
Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel
BeyondtheRainbow is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
Anonymous32451
Guest
Anonymous32451 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 05:55 AM
  #226
my back is killing me today

litirally, I spent the morning picking up falling clothes from my wardrobe, and if their's one thing bad backs can't stand is leaning down to pick things up (it's ashame that my grabber can't pick up clothes)

that aside, I'm actually glad that today shouldn't be too stressfull

the last few days i've been planning for meetings, been anxious about meetings, (yesterday I had a really intense meeting), i just need a break from the anxiety

it's not over yet (because their's more meetings to come), but for now I can hopefully start to relax (even though my version of relaxing is sitting in a chair in terrible pain)

no anxiety though. that's the main thing
 
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
Wander
Grand Magnate
 
Wander's Avatar
Wander exists in a dualistic state...
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
8 yr Member
2,611 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 05:59 AM
  #227
Update: my pdoc never faxed through the Haldol script. It is 7pm now so I have another night of hell with agitation. I just can't concentrate, even on TV. I can't bring myself to clean or find any real way to distract myself so I have been curled up in a ball for a few hours. Now I am going to try to eat something and ramble through YouTube until I can find sleep.

Beyondtherainbow. I have heard Clozapine is great in that way for some people but cannot bear the thought of the side effects and constant blood tests. It seems like too high a price to pay.

__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features
PTSD




"Phew! For a minute there I lost myself."

'Karma Police' by Radiohead
Wander is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, fern46, Innerzone, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
fern46
Grand Magnate
fern46 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
5 yr Member
4,300 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 06:37 AM
  #228
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wander View Post
Update: my pdoc never faxed through the Haldol script. It is 7pm now so I have another night of hell with agitation. I just can't concentrate, even on TV. I can't bring myself to clean or find any real way to distract myself so I have been curled up in a ball for a few hours. Now I am going to try to eat something and ramble through YouTube until I can find sleep.

Beyondtherainbow. I have heard Clozapine is great in that way for some people but cannot bear the thought of the side effects and constant blood tests. It seems like too high a price to pay.
I'm sorry you didn't get your meds. That's incredibly frustrating. I know you don't want to go IP and I hope it works out, but at least you'll have access to meds and help around the clock if you do end up going. Mixed states are awful. May you find your way back to balance soon. Hugs.
fern46 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
Unrigged64072835
Legendary
Unrigged64072835 "'Cause in my head there's a Greyhound station"
 
Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Under the noise floor
Posts: 18,579 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
11.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 12:28 PM
  #229
Checking in—

Finished the tank top. A couple of minor things to fix but it looks and feels good. I need to do some other learning on the sewing machine before I tackle the next project. I haven’t really sewed knits before so that’ll be a challenge.

Made a whole bunch of quick breads yesterday. Zucchini nut bread, apple spice bread, pumpkin nut bread. I also made apple waffles and buttermilk pancakes. I’m done just in time to empty out the big freezer because it’s frosting up. I also went to a park but there was nothing blooming and a biting wind. Brrrr! My back and sides have been in agony, and I hardly slept at all last night. I just hope to be awake enough to make dinner, because I may not be.

I hope you’re doing well, or recovering, or getting support for whatever you’re going through. Lots of love and hugs if you need them.
Unrigged64072835 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
Anonymous46341
Guest
Anonymous46341 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 01:11 PM
  #230
Fhairraige, I bet it smells wonderful in your kitchen! I love sweet breads and make them often, too.

Unlike several days before, today I had comparatively low energy and felt a bit down. I haven't been taking good care of myself. I had some OK eating days, but then again several that were overkill.

My husband has been spending money on unnecessary things, plus we've had some appliance breakdowns, not to mention our deck repair not long ago. I never really skimp on groceries, but I tend to skimp on other "me" things, while hubby doesn't. My hair looks bad enough that I finally had to schedule some appointment. Grays are showing and my bangs are way too long. I actually made an appointment at a salon that looks cheaper, but then chickened out and cancelled it and made an appointment with my usual hair stylist. My husband's hair cuts cost $35 plus $5 tip at his barber. There are super cheap cuts at "Hair Clips" but that's got a 1 out of 5 star rating. We've seen the bad results. I've had to go to expensive places for a while since my hair is quite a challenge. I have a huge mass of curly hair. The wrong cut can be a disaster! I've even grown used to the excellent job my hair stylist does with my color. But $35 plus $5 tip? OMG! For a cut and blow dry alone I spend over $100. For a cut, color of my grays, highlights, and a conditioning treatment (which is helpful) I can spend close to $300 plus $50 tip. It's outrageous! To save money, I just rarely get my hair done. Months can pass.

Last edited by Anonymous46341; Mar 21, 2019 at 01:31 PM..
 
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous41462, Innerzone, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
Blueberrybook
Magnate
 
Blueberrybook's Avatar
Blueberrybook has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,899
5 yr Member
78 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 02:03 PM
  #231
My mood says it all. I just feel blah today.

My daughter is off from school again. They detected high levels of benzene in the air near that plant that had the fires. They say all the monitors around here and even the borders of the town where the incident occurred never showed unhealthy levels, but who knows. We were never under a shelter in place though I live near the border of the city where the incident occurred and in fact, probably a 10 minute drive from that plant, less if you take away all the traffic lights and around 2 blocks from the shelter in place that was active earlier. Winds are light though shifting in the direction I live. It wouldn't surprise me if they close school again tomorrow even if the air monitors are OK or supposedly so. I think a lot of parents will be keeping their kids home tomorrow anyway just in case as we live so close to the ITC plant.

I hope I am feeling blah just because, which is stupid, but another reason I'd be this groggy and nauseous could be exposure to benzene being that I live close to that plant, and we have been running our air conditioning today and did last night too. When there is a shelter in place because of a chemical incident, you are not to run the AC or any heating systems (and obviously keep the doors, windows, etc. closed and not go outdoors). Our house is older too, not highly insulated, and there are a few drafty spots in the windows and doors.

Ugh, just got an alert on my phone that there is an air quality alert of severe in effect...ozone, high pollen, God knows what else from that chemical plant...

Really, I am so over this plant incident. It has gotten me so paranoid

__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Seroquel, Cymbalta, , propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, omeperazole

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
--Robert Frost
Blueberrybook is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, beauflow, Innerzone, rwwff, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835
Anonymous46341
Guest
Anonymous46341 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 03:30 PM
  #232
Blueberrybook, I'm sorry you have to suffer the results of that environmental disaster. Hopefully the air and water will improve quickly. I heard about it on the news and it looked scary. Do they know what started it?

Last edited by Anonymous46341; Mar 21, 2019 at 04:12 PM..
 
 
Hugs from:
Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
rwwff
Member
rwwff has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 476
5 yr Member
777 hugs
given
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 03:33 PM
  #233
Well, I found out this week that my tremors aren't a side effect of the abilify. Went to a neurologist who flatly told me "parkinson's". That wasn't even on my radar of things to worry about, now its front and center. She gave me meds, but they're a tease right now, I have to titrate up the dosing, so now I'm pretty ok for a couple hours and then miserably shaky the rest of the day.

Still, I guess I'm no worse off than before knowing; hopefully once I'm up to 4x day I'll have more good time than bad.

__________________
BD 1; Abilify, Wellbutrin
rwwff is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, beauflow, BeyondtheRainbow, Daonnachd, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835, VerMOZZica, wildflowerchild25, yellow_fleurs
fern46
Grand Magnate
fern46 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
5 yr Member
4,300 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 03:57 PM
  #234
BirdDancer, I feel you on the haircut. Curly hair is a challenge and it can take a while to correct if you let someone new mess it up. I'm sorry money is tight right now. That's frustrating and can be stressful. Hopefully the unexpected expenses will ease up for you soon.

I had low energy today as well. I'm getting through, but definitely dragging. I need a boost, but want to avoid extra sugar and caffeine. I'm heading outside for a walk soon. Hopefully that will help lift me a little until I can get back to bed.
fern46 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, beauflow, Nammu, rwwff, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835
cashart10
Grand Magnate
 
cashart10's Avatar
cashart10 is feeling above the sky :)
 
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: KY
Posts: 3,667
10 yr Member
3,076 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 05:37 PM
  #235
Well...today was my last day of IOP. It went very well. I’m at gymnastics with my girls right now and when I get home I am going to have to clean the house.

I saw my pdoc yesterday. She said I can’t come off the Latuda because it seems to be working. Instead, she checked my BMI and it is high enough for a weight loss pill called saxenda since my cholesterol is a little high also. She told me to schedule an appt with my gp to have her prescribe it and that it should counteract the weight gain and even help me lose up to 2 lbs a week with proper diet and exercise. Hopefully she is right!

Stressing a bit about the birthday party sat. Wondering how I’ll get it all done. I always do though. I have all day tomorrow too so I know it reallly will be fine.

__________________
*****

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Tori Amos ~ Crucify

Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
cashart10 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, beauflow, BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, Nammu, rwwff, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835, wildflowerchild25
pirilin
SUPERMAN
 
pirilin's Avatar
pirilin is SUPERMAN!!!.
 
Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 3,679
8 yr Member
2,698 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 07:11 PM
  #236
Ah. Not a good day.
This cold feels like I'll never recover again.

Cheers.

__________________
]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[

Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON.
If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown.
Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo.
You are the slave of what you say,
and the master of what you keep. Unknown.
pirilin is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835
Anonymous41462
Guest
Anonymous41462 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 07:11 PM
  #237
Ack, we're getting more snow tomorrow, about 5cm. Enough already! My keyboard stand came today but it requires assembly. I gave it a try but it's beyond me. I put a call into the superintendent who is super handy and works for a song. But he's hard to get so it might be a few weeks. Well, at least i am one step closer to learning piano. Loving instrumental music! Mood stuck on the low side of neutral. Hugs to all who need them, especially BlueBerryBook and WildFlowerChild!
 
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835
yellow_fleurs
Grand Poohbah
yellow_fleurs has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: US
Posts: 1,512
5 yr Member
1,265 hugs
given
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 08:32 PM
  #238
I do not know if this is related to a mood or anxiety thing, or if I actually have something else wrong with me, but it freaks me out how I will get these flare ups of symptoms where I can barely form words, write sentences, function. I almost feel like I have early signs of dementia but I sure hope not. This week has been weird because I was happy because of spring, but also tired and irritable and not functioning well. Not sure what it is, but something is definitely off with my brain. Perhaps it is all related to a mood disorder i just do not know.

Got my hair cut which feels good. Have therapy tomorrow before work which I am looking forward to. Then my boyfriend is visiting from out of town which will be nice.
yellow_fleurs is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835
BeyondtheRainbow
Wise Elder
 
BeyondtheRainbow's Avatar
BeyondtheRainbow has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,194 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
9,275 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 08:42 PM
  #239
Quote:
Originally Posted by rwwff View Post
Well, I found out this week that my tremors aren't a side effect of the abilify. Went to a neurologist who flatly told me "parkinson's". That wasn't even on my radar of things to worry about, now its front and center.
I'm sorry to see you have another diagnosis to deal with. I hope the meds kick in quickly and make huge difference for you.

There's a board that I think is a sister board to this one called Neurotalk. NeuroTalk Support Groups Maybe you can find some support there.

__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD.
Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel
BeyondtheRainbow is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, yellow_fleurs
 
Thanks for this!
rwwff
TheSeaCat
Grand Member
 
TheSeaCat's Avatar
TheSeaCat is in love
 
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 796
5 yr Member
3,607 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 10:59 PM
  #240
Hello everyone; I hope everyone is alright. I'm not at all. M's doctor's appointment went terribly and it's going to be some serious surgery. I really don't feel like taking about it. I really just want to break down and cry.

Hugs to everyone

__________________
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Depression
Symptoms of PTSD

Trintellix 10mg once daily
Buspar 10mg three times daily
TheSeaCat is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, beauflow, BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, Nammu, rwwff, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, yellow_fleurs
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:04 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.