Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I was up a majority of the night because I decided to suddenly stop one of my meds due to weight gain. I ended up giving in and just taking at some point it because I don't want to screw up my stability. I'll just have to work really hard to offset the weight gain with exercise and healthy eating.

I know that feeling of wanting to stop a med because of side effects. It's awful. I'm sorry you have to go through that.

Hopefully you're able to find a happy medium. Or maybe a new med if necessary.

I'm finally feeling better -- less depressed and all.

I'm now more motivated to do things, so I started cleaning my apartment this morning about 2 hours ago. I've cleaned up a good portion of it already, but I still have lots of cleaning work to do. However, at least I'm making good progress. I'm trying to clean up the floors (yeah, I have stuff on the floor) so that I can vacuum. I also have to take out a lot of trash and boxes/recyclables. Ugh. But it must be done!

Tomorrow, I have my pdoc appt. I'm not sure if I should admit to having been depressed for a while, or if I should just ignore the topic and move on since I'm not depressed anymore.

I have occasional paranoia, but nothing too serious. Some nights, like last night, I get paranoid that someone is going to break in, steal my car keys, and murder me. I know it's not a logical fear, yet it often feels so real in the moment that I am compelled to lock every door and even put up barricades when things are bad. Then I wake up in the morning and sometimes I feel better, sometimes not.

[wildflowerchild25]

I feel better today in terms of depression. I feel more normal. Which is good. Maybe I’ll just have week long mild depressions from now on. That would be awesome. I can deal with that.

The burns look pretty bad so I’m going to the dr today to make sure I’m doing the right things. I really have no idea how to care for burns. Especially when the blister pops. Right now I’m in yoga pants and an extra large tee shirt because I figured loose comfortable clothing is best. I’m afraid if I put on jeans I’ll pop the blister on my leg too. Bonus though, I’m already dressed to work out so I think I’m going to the gym later. See how long I can go on the bicycle. My legs are stronger now so hopefully I’ll be able to get a good workout in.

Regrettably I bought a pack of cigarettes today because I ran out of cartridges for my vape. I’m so weak willed that I can’t even wait for them to arrive today. But whatever. I’m trying to quit it’s just taking me a long time.

I’ve got to plan my meals for this week. I cancelled the meal subscription because I was wasting too much food. They come with vegetables I don’t like and I find the recipes too complicated for me, even though I am a good cook. I am a lazy cook and if I have to cook a main meal, a starch, and a vegetable I’m just like **** this. Hence the wasted food. Plus the portions were ridiculous. Plenty for me and my son but not enough for me, RS, and my son. I see RS three times a week so that would be one wasted meal a week. It was a good idea but just not feasible. Must go back to my meal planning.

[Nammu]

Yeah......well didn't sleep last night despite taking both ambien. Sometime after dawn fell asleep for a couple hours. Feel like something my cat dragged in. Apparently there was a big storm while I slept. Storms have never bothered me.easter went fine. I survived. I just don't spend the energy I used to on hearing people. Even with the most powerful AIDS they make I can't hear normal, takes lots of energy to listen and lip read. So I'm fine sitting in another room by my self, chill'n.

Hmmm....going to have to try peeps in the microwave....how long do ya put them in for?

[Moose72]

Beautiful day here- sunny and going up to 76!

I wrote in my blog last night and now Im posting all over the boards here. This morning, I put up a post on the Adult Children of Alcoholics board. I'm ok where I am with that these days. Writing it all out really shows how not great Ive been feeling during the last 30 years re my alcoholic dad. However, its not a raw wound anymore and I don't mean to downplay things. Im just mostly sad inside for my dad and how this disease has affected his life.

[fern46]

So far things have been really great after changing my meds. I was taking a nap almost every day before and now I feel normal again in the early afternoon. I didn't nap yesterday and I'm good today as well. Now I just need to figure out how to fill all the free time I have up. Today I called my brother to catch up and I'm watching the birds. It is a beautiful day.Tonight will be my 3rd night taking my Geodon at night, and I am loving it so far.

[Sunflower123]

I’m really struggling today. The depression and anxiety have me afraid I’m losing my mind. I’m trying to hold out for therapy on the 29th. Currently curled up in a ball on the couch trying to distract myself.

I’ve caught up on my sleep the past two nights. Really, I should feel great instead of like a hot mess. I miss the beagle. He gives me purpose and focus. If I can get off the couch, I will get him out of the kennel early.

Not doing well. I started keeping a mood log and it gave me a secret achievement award for being an emotional roller coaster. Wow...that’s just...great. Awesome. Might be time for a medication change.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m really struggling today. The depression and anxiety have me afraid I’m losing my mind. I’m trying to hold out for therapy on the 29th. Currently curled up in a ball on the couch trying to distract myself.

I’ve caught up on my sleep the past two nights. Really, I should feel great instead of like a hot mess. I miss the beagle. He gives me purpose and focus. If I can get off the couch, I will get him out of the kennel early.

Not doing well. I started keeping a mood log and it gave me a secret achievement award for being an emotional roller coaster. Wow...that’s just...great. Awesome. Might be time for a medication change.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

Sorry you’re struggling so much. Can you call your therapist and speak on the phone, even if it’s only for a few minutes? My therapist will let me talk to her outside of an appointment if I’m really struggling.

[LadyShadow]

Been doing ok symptom wise. I have a foot in reality and things are going well. Looking to start working and get some sort of stability in my life. It's time I stand on my own.

[Wander]

Off to hospital. My stomach pains are getting worse as is the constipation. (Sorry, tmi). Will let you know how I am when I can. Just hope it’s something simple.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

thinking of you Wander

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Yeah......well didn't sleep last night despite taking both ambien. Sometime after dawn fell asleep for a couple hours. Feel like something my cat dragged in. Apparently there was a big storm while I slept. Storms have never bothered me.easter went fine. I survived. I just don't spend the energy I used to on hearing people. Even with the most powerful AIDS they make I can't hear normal, takes lots of energy to listen and lip read. So I'm fine sitting in another room by my self, chill'n.

Hmmm....going to have to try peeps in the microwave....how long do ya put them in for?

I hope you get some quality sleep tonight.
Yesterday there was a conversation about peeps in the nuker. It's my understanding that you simply put them in for two minutes (or so), but watch them until they explode. At that point you stop the nuker. I've never actually done it or even seen it done so I may be wrong.

[Daonnachd]

I went to see my pdoc today. I have to before every ECT session. She has to verify I'm capable of making the decision myself. Anyhow, she brought up a time when I was borderline psychotic. It's strange because I can't recall the situation at all. (Thank you, ECT.) Other than that it was a pleasant drive on the roads winding through the Napa Valley and over the mountains. More than once I had it at 80+. Oh, that is so exhilarating.

[Unrigged64072835]

Hope you feel better, Wander.

[Unrigged64072835]

Still feeling low and sleep is still erratic even with increased Trileptal and added Lunesta. At least my husband's MRI is done and we don't have to go anywhere until next Monday.

[Blueberrybook]

I'm here. Sorry I can't keep up with threads these days. Still have iron-deficiency anemia. The doctor put me on iron pills, and I guess I have to take those a few weeks, and they will do more bloodwork to see if I'm not consuming enough iron or if I am not absorbing iron properly. I never have had fantastic iron levels, but I've never been anemic this long or to the point of having ice-eating pica. I want to eat crushed ice all day, every day, it's crazy. My PCP referred me to a hematologist, but my appointment with him isn't until May 7. I do follow up with the GI doc this week. I think this hiatal hernia he's found is giving me some issues too.

I'm just exhausted. And having trouble complying with taking my Seroquel as prescribed, which gives me bouts of mania or hypomania when I'll do stupid things (overspend money) or become consumed with vaccuuming the house, not caring how many hours it's putting off lunch. I don't want to eat much as I'm pretty much nauseous all the time now. It makes cooking hard.

I'm tired, slipping into depression this evening. My T is off this week. Maybe the GI doc will suggest something for the anemia or at least the stupid constant nausea. I'll see on Wednesday.

I'm just so exhausted, sometimes having a hard time breathing, and yet many nights I still have insomnia. I am ready for this to be over. I really want some answers. I don't want to have this be some medical mystery. Just tired.

[Scooter9]

I think the really low feelings have passed. Still feeling body aches but I'm not feeling as withdrawn as a couple of days ago.

My personality has changed over the past several years. I'm very shy and quiet now I wasn't this way before. I was always reserved and quiet but I was funny and could engage in a conversation. Now I just prefer to listen and contribute little.

I wonder if that's the Latuda? I've been on it for 4 years now.

During my low I was researching other meds approved for bipolar depression reading up on them. I didn't really find anything helpful. I'll talk to my doctor.

I'd really like to get back to my baseline again.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m really struggling today. The depression and anxiety have me afraid I’m losing my mind. I’m trying to hold out for therapy on the 29th. Currently curled up in a ball on the couch trying to distract myself.


I’ve caught up on my sleep the past two nights. Really, I should feel great instead of like a hot mess. I miss the beagle. He gives me purpose and focus. If I can get off the couch, I will get him out of the kennel early.


Not doing well. I started keeping a mood log and it gave me a secret achievement award for being an emotional roller coaster. Wow...that’s just...great. Awesome. Might be time for a medication change.


Warm wishes and hugs to all.

I’m sorry your struggling. Bipolar makes life so difficult at times. Hope you got the pup out so he can love on you. Dogs love is pure and a gift.

Be kind to your self

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Yeah......well didn't sleep last night despite taking both ambien. Sometime after dawn fell asleep for a couple hours. Feel like something my cat dragged in. Apparently there was a big storm while I slept. Storms have never bothered me.easter went fine. I survived. I just don't spend the energy I used to on hearing people. Even with the most powerful AIDS they make I can't hear normal, takes lots of energy to listen and lip read. So I'm fine sitting in another room by my self, chill'n.


Hmmm....going to have to try peeps in the microwave....how long do ya put them in for?

I hope you get back to sleeping well. Lack of sleep is horrible.

My preferred peep cooking time is 57 seconds

[Victoria'smom]

I’m flipping **** at the drop of a hat, I’m not sleeping well, nervous all the time. My husband doesn’t agree with me. I need a shower but ours is broken. I’m overwhelmed by nothing. In less than two weeks my son leaves for the summer. I have no idea how we will care for our dog. It worries me because he is unwell and traveling with my father (huge trigger) for 3 days. My dad gives “advice” in a way that is always negative about the person. Three days of that can take a toll. They don’t get along well. My dad doesn’t “understand” my son. Miguel already says he hates my family. So this can either be really good or really bad. I’m trying to be optimistic. I’m already petrified of driving so sending on him a three day drive is huge for me. It was supposed to be both my parents which would cut the negativity but now my mom is flying and we can’t back out. We’ll see what H’s T says but I may go back to therapy.