Fear of meds

I finally decided to listen to my new therapist and see a psychiatrist. They always intimidate me. I've just seen my PCP for the last few years after going off meds for some time. I told my new psychiatrist that I'm on Wellbutrin 300MG and he said that I should probably get off that since I was prescribed that based on a diagnosis of depression. Instead, he prescribed me Lithium. I'm super apprehensive. Of course, the day after I fill the RX my grandfather passed away and I flew back home and I just told myself...now isn't a good time for a medication change. But I've been back for a week. And those tablets are just staring at me everyday. And I close the cabinet and say "Maybe tomorrow".

I have to schedule blood work to make sure my levels are okay once I start. The lab has called me to say "What gives? Don't forget to get checked!"

I feel really ashamed. I don't WANT to feel the way I do...but I am so scared to change medication. Not that the Wellbutrin is great. I have extreme anxiety and still battle with ideation. But...at least I know that's as bad as it gets. I ended up impatient a few years back after taking another medication and I am scared that if I try something new, I might lose my touch with reality. I might still be depressed and anxious and swinging through bouts of mania but I know I can manage. I don't know if I can manage the lithium.

With bipolar disorder, there's a much higher chance of losing touch with reality on no medications or on an antidepressant alone than on a bipolar moodstabilizer.

Some people find Lithium to be a wonder drug. You won't know if it's that for you unless you try it. I won't lie and say it doesn't cause some people side effects. But some people don't get them from it. Sometimes the dose is the key.

I wish my nephew had reached the best dose for him, or saw if it helped. That never happened, partly because he quit his meds.

I took lithium for many years it helped until I went borderline toxic. It is the first Med made solely for Bipolar.

I say give it a try , there are so many meds that can be tried.

Maybe you will get lucky and it be the “ right” one right off the bat !

Try to not be scared of seeking medication treatment. It can make a huge difference in your daily life.

I actually agree with you. I spent years of doing it without meds to only be a danger to myself and others. The absolute rage and depression was out of control. Fighting was second natural like someone would shake hands and say hi. I'm on a minimum amount of medications now but it's really helping. I'm definitely not cured or like a "regular" person but I'm nothing like I was. I use to have multiple extreme episodes a year vs maybe 3 to 5 a year now.

I always suggest people should try medications especially for bipolar 1.

just keep your blood work up with lithuim ... maintain your body fluid levels .. if you sweat alot keep well hydrated ... I sweat so much I dehydrate almost everyday during the summer ... that was why I never did lithium ... but I live on lamictal .... good luck .....

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement. I finally got up the nerve and took my first dose last night. Feeling a little queasy but otherwise alright. The lab kept calling me reminding me I needed to come in to see them. So, I get my labs done next week and I see my psychiatrist again at the end of the week. I do work outside a LOT (I live on a ranch) so this may not be a good fit for me, since I get dehydrated easily anyways. So thanks for that heads up. I will mention it to my doc.

Pills are only a tool. They help but it won't do anything if you dont put the effort into helping yourself. Knowing that it's not going to "fix" you, will stop you from being disappointed.

Builders used blunt tools to build houses before power. Now that we have power, people use better and completely new inventions. We're so much more efficient than our great grandparents era.

Don't be afraid to use meds to help you permanently or temporarily for whatever reason. I'm sure everyone takes a pill for a headache? Right? We've created awesome new formulas to help us fight our battles. Use them or not but don't be afraid too try because you got this.

I’ve been taking Lithium for about five years. It didn’t always stabilise my moods but has kept me alive by making me much less impulsive. My only side effects have been mild hand tremors and a mild thyroid issue that was resolved by thyroxine. I’m glad you started it as it can be a game changer for many people. If not for you there are many other safe options to stabilise you. For me Lithium took two months to take effect. I think it was when I got my blood levels right. Hang in there and make sure you drink lots of water and get your kidneys and thyroid checked every few months.

Thanks all. I had blood tests today and all well. My lithium dose is low so my levels were almost negligible. But thyroid is fine. Going to have it rechecked in a month.

I am anxious because I will be outside a lot this summer. I did feel when I was outside and wasn’t drinking enough water my muscles cramped really quickly.

I see my psych again in April and will see his thoughts. The lithium has definitely muted me but it has also lessened any sort of motivation or drive. I feel dull.

I stopped taking medication altogether and really prefer to be off it but at least during this stressful moment when I’m moving and dealing with work drama, I need to not be impulsive. I went down this road of medication after I started self harming again.

Anyhow I just wanted to post an update for anyone else that might be in these shoes.

Hang in there it takes time to hit therapeutic levels that works for you

Hi, Jaymoq, just wanted to add a reply since I can totally relate to you. I have a big fear of meds, and every time I am prescribed a new one, I’m reluctant to start it if things are going well or if I have a lot going on because I’m afraid of so many things. Afraid it will make it hard to focus at work, afraid I won’t enjoy life as much when my moods are stabilized, afraid my relationships will be different, and the list goes on. But, then I try to remind myself that there is a reason I went to a doctor in the first place. I may feel good now, but I must have been in a really bad place to seek out help as much as I hate the idea of going to a doctor and taking meds. Maybe try to remind yourself of that next time when fear creeps in. The meds won’t make you any worse than you are without them, and there is a good chance it could make you better. Hang in there!

Thanks again all for the words of encouragement.

Met with my psychiatrist and he is upping my dose. And that terrifies me. The lithium has me feeling...flat. I feel nothing. I'm entering the depression downswing now and I am just mentally and physically exhausted. I keep telling myself that it takes time, but the side effects have been a bane. Headaches, muscle aches, hand tremors. Yesterday at work someone told me I needed to "calm down, there's nothing to be nervous about". I realized my hands were shaking.

My doctor said with my severe reaction to many psych meds, it would be a challenge to find another suitable medication. So, I am just...hanging in there. But if I am feeling so muted and numb from this initial dosing, how is doubling the dose going to work?

I am still scared. But, I keep hanging with it. Because maybe it gets better. And because I wasn't managing my symptoms very effectively or healthily.

I’m on Lithium. Despite some side effects I really like it. I’ve been on it for 5yrs.

Apparently your Pdoc didn’t listen or hear what you were saying. Yes there are so many combos of meds that can be tried so I dunno why he’s acting like this. Everyone with Bipolar can be a challenge to find the right Med or meds.

You need to find the best meds that will help YOU and not snow you under.

Can you go back and be more proactive about how this current stuff isn’t working for YOU

Hope things get better for you soon

I agree with Christina. If you don’t feel well on Lithium there are plenty of other meds to try.
In my case I don’t work so a slight hand tremor doesn’t bother me. In addition the Propanol I take has decreased the tremor.
I suffer from anxiety which I think doesn’t help.

I'm concerned that your doctor is increasing your dose when your complaint is the side effects. Not everyone is made the same, and some are more sensitive than others to meds. Have you talked to your doc about trying the liquid form of a medicine? I know others who that has worked for since they couldn't tolerate the usual starting dose (I'm currently experimenting with it myself and still having issues with emotional flatness or numbness).