I Blame Myself

seoultous · Mar 11, 2019 at 08:48 PM

Do you blame yourself for relapsing? I know and believe BP is a brain disease but when I get depressed I feel that there must have been something I could have done differently to prevent myself from getting depressed. If I ate better, exercised more or slept regularly, maybe I would not get sick again. Does anyone else feel similarly?

I am on meds and I take them ALL as prescribed so I can't or don't blame it on the meds.

Tryingtobehappy5 · Mar 11, 2019 at 09:00 PM

I completely blame myself but i have more of a reason to. I quit my meds and drink a lot sometimes so it is definitely my fault.

If you are taking your meds and they arent working that is far from your fault

hope it gets better soon

Wander · Mar 11, 2019 at 11:57 PM

Most of the time I use a mix of blaming the illness, and blaming myself. However, if I really have been doing all the right things and still have an episode I blame the illness alone. However, what I use to blame myself can be petty and rejected as a cause by my pdoc. Things like I had a week where I didn’t exercise like usual. We can definitely trigger our episodes with significant negative behavioural changes though. That is when I blame myself. Still if we didn’t have Bipolar there would be nothing to trigger.

sarahsweets · Mar 12, 2019 at 07:29 AM

What do you mean by relapsing? I look at BP as either active or being in remission. To me, relapsing is like self blame and I do not think you need to blame yourself, nor do you deserve it.

FriendlyJoe · Mar 12, 2019 at 11:01 PM

Is this for bipolar 2 or 3 people? I have no idea what relapses or remission of BP is or even possible.

Pookyl · Mar 13, 2019 at 02:02 AM

I’ve only blamed myself once. Two years ago I drank myself stupid. It triggered the worst sui episode I’ve ever had. I ended up in hospital and have never touched alcohol again.

Mar 13, 2019 at 07:48 AM

Sometimes I have. Other times my episodes came on beyond my control from either triggers I had no control over (I can't change seasons, stress, medication issues) or seemingly nothing.

sarahsweets · Mar 13, 2019 at 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FriendlyJoe

Is this for bipolar 2 or 3 people? I have no idea what relapses or remission of BP is or even possible.

Some people like myself like to say that their bipolar ( or other mental illness) is in remission when stable on the right meds, going to therapy. etc. I was asking about the relapse part because I am not sure what that refers to.

wildflowerchild25 · Mar 13, 2019 at 09:55 AM

I blame myself as well, especially if I’ve had a long period of stability and then slip back into depression. I always think there must have been something I could have been doing to help myself more. Even though sometimes there just isn’t. Sometimes it’s just my brain. But I always think I should have tried harder to avoid depression.

~Christina · Mar 13, 2019 at 05:23 PM

I can be rolling along stable and bipolar just reaches up and slaps me hard. No I do not blame myself.

A few times I have fiddled with my Meds and drop my coping skills out of anger and well that never ends well. So that one I blame myself for.

seoultous · Mar 13, 2019 at 05:25 PM

Thank you everyone for the insight. I was symptomatic for a few weeks (doing fine now) and I just started thinking about the course of this disease and if I was doing as much as I could to avoid depression.

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sarahsweets Threadtastic Postaholic Member Since Dec 2018 Location: New Jersey Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!) 5 192 hugs given	Mar 12, 2019 at 07:29 AM #4 What do you mean by relapsing? I look at BP as either active or being in remission. To me, relapsing is like self blame and I do not think you need to blame yourself, nor do you deserve it. __________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society.
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FriendlyJoe Member Member Since Nov 2018 Location: US Posts: 207 5 1 hugs given	Mar 12, 2019 at 11:01 PM #5 Is this for bipolar 2 or 3 people? I have no idea what relapses or remission of BP is or even possible.
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Anonymous46341 Guest Posts: n/a	Mar 13, 2019 at 07:48 AM #7 Sometimes I have. Other times my episodes came on beyond my control from either triggers I had no control over (I can't change seasons, stress, medication issues) or seemingly nothing.
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~Christina Legendary Wise Elder Community Liaison Member Since Jul 2011 Location: Tennessee Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!) 12 12.7k hugs given	Mar 13, 2019 at 05:23 PM #10 I can be rolling along stable and bipolar just reaches up and slaps me hard. No I do not blame myself. A few times I have fiddled with my Meds and drop my coping skills out of anger and well that never ends well. So that one I blame myself for. __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
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seoultous Member Member Since Feb 2011 Location: in an old house Posts: 379 13 22 hugs given	Mar 13, 2019 at 05:25 PM #11 Thank you everyone for the insight. I was symptomatic for a few weeks (doing fine now) and I just started thinking about the course of this disease and if I was doing as much as I could to avoid depression. __________________ Bipolar: Lamictal, and Abilify. Klonopin, Ritalin and Xanax PRN.
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